Dear Maria, I just read your comment your post about broken engagement (which I will be posting on it later).

I admit, because our different such as religion, race and also age (I am 32, six years older than him) made me feel inferior. I was trying so hard to fit in, so the family could accept me. I know his family is also kind abused him and he reflected that on me. He said that he could not make any mistakes in his family. His mother and brother sometimes used harsh word on him, even though it’s in front of stranger. The inferiority in me and also I pity him sometimes made me do all that. I could actually judge him being an egocentric person, his environment made that. He chose not to get out from there and won’t fight for me which meant it won’t work. It is hurt to be rejected, especially with unreasonable reason such as race and religion. It feels like there are something wrong with me. I even have thought to making a revenge, but my mom told me that it is no use. With their behavior, other people will judge them. No use to prove your self to them, said my mom. I know the stigma not getting married in my country makes my expectation.  I watched many motivational speech in youtube, that this rejection could be a protection. Protection from toxic environment. I know this is already ended, but the pain, sadness and angry still linger. I also still afraid and anxious being alone. It is complicated, I miss the time when I was with him, but I remember how he and his family treat me, after that I got angry again with them then I was frustrated because I want to moving on but still haven’t. It’s like a cycle in a day. Now, I try to distract it with new activity, which is planning open a new small business with my friends also my main work is also getting busier. Even though, I still on blank state sometimes, but interacting with other people does help. I am trying to reaching back my old self. When I was alone, but still enjoy it.

Dear Anita. I just want to share my feeling. We break up because his family doesn’t approve me. They said because we have different background (ethnicity and religion). I feel very hurt by that, this is the first time I have been rejected by racist reason (I feel that way, I don’t know if it count as racist or not). They don’t know anything about me nor even ask my plan about the future whether I could compromise with them. It really make me upset. I did meet his mother and she never talk about that issues and seemed welcome me. I feel betrayed by all this situation. Especially when I tried so hard to make the relationship working by do everything that he asked even swallow my ego to be angry. I know it’s over now, and it could be the best decision. My friends also said it hard to continue with his and his family character. I just want to ranting my feeling here. I talk a lot with my friends, they will possibly bored with my ranting.

Thanks again

Dear Rose and Anita.

I know this is stupid, but finally I help him. I feel pity for him. I know his family have hard character and very obstinate. He also obstinate sometimes. Today I decided not to help him and contact him in the future. I remember the last fight. The trigger of my anger is actually this same situation. He was cranky and had bad mood, he replied the text only with short messages on long period. His text got longer or I got replied faster when he asked or when I respond about his requests. I feel like I am a door mat. That’s when I vent my anger to him, but he get mad back at me. When I apologized, he said that it was hard for him to forgive me. That’s when I decided to break up with him. Now I realized that he doesn’t love me as much as I do.

hopefully I can get over him quickly

Thanks so much for your encouragement.

Dear Jenny, Rose of Yellow and Anita.

Thanks for the encouragement.

Last saturday, he had meeting with his family about our relationship. That I said before, his family seems not accept me because our different background. It was like drama, after break up and want to get back together, his family suddenly had meeting. Today he told me that his family wants him to ended our relationship. I asked him is there any chances that they will accept me, and he said no. It comes to my realisation that I am the only one to try to maintain this relationship. He doesn’t have any effort to make his family accept me. I decided that we need to end this. We both accept it. I feel very upset until now not only to him and his family but to myself for wasting my energy and time for him. It is right, that word will still remains word until you put an action in to it.

Dear Anita, yes I did post a thread two years ago. Well, my working situation currently better. Now, I have friends that I could share my problems with. I also understand that my boss situation demand her to be perfectionist. The toxic friends paid the price, he doesn’t really have a friend. Working place will have their usual problems, but I think I can handle it 🙂

For my relationship problems, I think in my heart I want to give him a chance. He did apologize for what he did to me. I think, we will discuss it again. Actually I also feel that his family doesn’t like me. So, I think it will be hard on the future. I want to meet him directly and tell my feelings about his attitude and the possibility that it will be hard on the future. If we feel that everything is hard, I think I will end this relationship. Thank you so much Anita

Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for your suggestion