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Amelia

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #366686
    Amelia
    Participant

    Dear Rose and Anita.

    I know this is stupid, but finally I help him. I feel pity for him. I know his family have hard character and very obstinate. He also obstinate sometimes. Today I decided not to help him and contact him in the future. I remember the last fight. The trigger of my anger is actually this same situation. He was cranky and had bad mood, he replied the text only with short messages on long period. His text got longer or I got replied faster when he asked or when I respond about his requests. I feel like I am a door mat. That’s when I vent my anger to him, but he get mad back at me. When I apologized, he said that it was hard for him to forgive me. That’s when I decided to break up with him. Now I realized that he doesn’t love me as much as I do.

    hopefully I can get over him quickly

    Thanks so much for your encouragement.

    #366424
    Amelia
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    The night after the break up was very hard. Yesterday was still hard. I need to work and also cried in front of my co-worker. Thankfully not so many people there because of the pandemic. I am living alone, so I think it is better for me to spend time with my co-worker at noon. At evening, the sad feeling was coming again, how we spent our times together and it will end. I even try to download tinder to try to forget (but I feel stupid), so I decided to deleted again. I try to google “how to fix a broken heart” and I found a Ted Ed video from Guy Winch. He said not to idealize our ex for every thing that makes the relationship not work. It is quite working, I made the list on the phone and it makes me not idealize it. Today it feels better as many task that I need to do at work.

    Actually when we decided to break up, he stated that he want us to still be friends and still contacting each other if we needs help. Until know he still texting with me. Because before I helped him with his work, he still text me about that. Is it better to completely cut the ties or doing this “friendly relationship”? I am not hanging my hope getting back together for now, but I am afraid it will later. As I say, I am a people pleaser type, it’s hard for me to say no. Am I being too kind?

    #366288
    Amelia
    Participant

    Dear Jenny, Rose of Yellow and Anita.

    Thanks for the encouragement.

    Last saturday, he had meeting with his family about our relationship. That I said before, his family seems not accept me because our different background. It was like drama, after break up and want to get back together, his family suddenly had meeting. Today he told me that his family wants him to ended our relationship. I asked him is there any chances that they will accept me, and he said no. It comes to my realisation that I am the only one to try to maintain this relationship. He doesn’t have any effort to make his family accept me. I decided that we need to end this. We both accept it. I feel very upset until now not only to him and his family but to myself for wasting my energy and time for him. It is right, that word will still remains word until you put an action in to it.

    #366226
    Amelia
    Participant

    Dear Jenny, He did apologize for what he did.

    I think, I am hoping that he will going back to his self before our fight.

    Like I said in the reply post to Anita, I feel that one of his family member doesn’t like me. I think it will be hard for our future.

    How do I let him go?? Imagining the post break up is already hard

    #366225
    Amelia
    Participant

    Dear Anita, yes I did post a thread two years ago. Well, my working situation currently better. Now, I have friends that I could share my problems with. I also understand that my boss situation demand her to be perfectionist. The toxic friends paid the price, he doesn’t really have a friend. Working place will have their usual problems, but I think I can handle it ­čÖé

    For my relationship problems, I think in my heart I want to give him a chance. He did apologize for what he did to me. I think, we will discuss it again. Actually I also feel that his family doesn’t like me. So, I think it will be hard on the future. I want to meet him directly and tell my feelings about his attitude and the possibility that it will be hard on the future. If we feel that everything is hard, I think I will end this relationship. Thank you so much Anita

    #282605
    Amelia
    Participant

    Hi, I am 30 years old. Until now, I still don’t know if job is I really want or enjoy? I had an average (with average┬ápayment) job last year, but with very good works environment. I leave it because I got better job (good payment), but the working environment is the worst. At least the worst in my working experience (horrible boss, bad communication between colleagues). I am thinking this is maybe mistakes. I could just quit but, what if I ended make wrong decision again. For now, I decided just go through with it. If three more years I am still feeling this, I could consider quitting. I want to explore more what job that I enjoy and what skills should I take if I will quit later. In my life, I still don’t know what is right for me. Every time, I think too much, it just make my stress worst. Don’t┬ápressure your self. You could try breathing exercises, it help me a lot with my anxiety.

     

    You are still young, 23 years old. I am older and I am willing to do anything to make myself better even quitting my job in my thirties. My suggestion is just go through with what you have now. On that┬áprocess, you could discover what is your┬ápassion. I also suggest not afraid to try new thing. It’s never too late to be might you have been. If you feel the thing is right and it makes you happy, just do it. It is better not to base your feeling by other┬ápeople opinion. Sorry for my bad English, I am not a native speaker

    #248395
    Amelia
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you so much for your suggestion

    #239993
    Amelia
    Participant

    Dear Anita, thank you so much for your response. Maybe I expect too much with this job. I know I could not do much, because I am new person, but I feel really tired mentally because of this situation.

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