Forum Replies Created
July 14, 2015 at 10:30 am in reply to: I need help in clearing my mind , confused about my feelings about my ex .!!!!! #79845
At this point in time, it’s not worth it. It sounds like you both have a lot of emotional problems to work through individually, and a relationship isn’t the best idea right now. I don’t know why you’re so emotionally distant with people but you might want to gaze inward and work on yourself before seeking others for love and acceptance. I say this as someone who has been there. Long story short I got hurt as a child and to protect myself I became a cynic who kept pushing people away to protect myself. I wound up falling for a close guy friend who treated me very similar to how your guy treats you. My now ex wound up cheating on me and got the girl to text me an apology, and then he tested me a breakup speech that simply twisted the knife. My point is, I know how you feel, and how hurtful it is for someone you were once ‘perfect with’ to suddenly walk away without much effort. You need to cut him out and focus on yourself.
To start I suggest you journal, meditate and/or do art. Try to vent and let everything out, after a week or so, try to work through your emotions [not just towards him, why you push people away] and slowly try to stabilize yourself. Maybe one day he too will change and things will work out, but as it stands this doesn’t sound good for either of you.
Thanks for the ideas. I don’t have a car so volunteering in my area could be a bit tricky, but I’ll look into some things.
What I meant was I’m a talented chef, but it’s a hobby. I went to chef school and worked in kitchens on and off for 10 years and I hate it. Cooking for friends and family, no problem, having to rush around making 100 meals in an hour not fun.
Growing up I was close with my family and friends and wanted to make them happy [long story] but now I’m at a point where I don’t get others input, and I’m lost. I think this or that career would be fun but I don’t know how to be sure, as the primary bread winner in a paycheck to paycheck household I can’t decide to try on different job hats to see how they feel.
Is it strange to say I don’t know? As a kid I changed my mind every week, but for the past 10 years I’ve basically been on autopilot. I remember being 14 at dinner telling my mom I was thinking about being a farmer or a writer, maybe both, and she told me that farming was too hard, but I’m a good cook so I should be a chef. [I am a good cook but I pursued culinary because people said I should not because I was passionate.] I’m thinking about becoming a maid because I like cleaning and organizing but again people think I should go into financial planning because I’m good at budgeting [but I hate math]
If you’ve found something you love and you’re somewhere you’re unhappy, close your eyes, hold your breath and take the plunge. Scary as it is, if this is what will make you happy, you will find a way to make it work. When I moved in with my boyfriend, I was the only one working, so he moved to my town [a place I hate] and I remember figuring everything out and having a panic attack because it was so uncertain. My mom used her time tested wisdom ‘if you have any doubt you don’t really want to do it’. That snapped me back to reality, I wanted to move in with him in the apartment [which I love] I was scared of the unknown. It’s been over a year, while I don’t have much, I have enough.
Regarding your beau, ignore him. When I was 20 I was in a ‘relationship’ with a guy who used and abused me mentally. Despite the way he treated me I kept coming back hoping he would accept me. I don’t know your situation, but when we broke up I wanted him back in my life and I couldn’t imagine a life where we weren’t even friends. 5 years later I’m shocked how much time I spent on him. Maybe you two just drifted apart, maybe he cheated, whatever happened, look at it as a blessing, you are free to find your passion, to figure out who you are and what you want. If you were with him, you will probably take one step forward and two steps back so you’re both on the same page.
Lol, wow anonymous, a spam post about a spell caster on a non-pagan site, I’m impressed. Not to be laughed off this forum, but I’m Wiccan, don’t listen to someone claiming a spell caster can fix your life, they’re scamming you [obvious to non-believers I get it, but I’m in a few pagan communities online so I’m obliged to point this out] also, you don’t need a spell for your current situation, just some introspection.
Anyway, Moon I can relate to how you feel, you’re trying to find your place in the world [as am I] and all these other people seem so happy and confident and everything without trying. Think is that’s our perception, not fact. People could be looking at you and thinking the same thing [crazy, but it’s possible] I sadly can’t help you too much, but I feel journaling and asking/answering questions [who am I? What do I like? What is my ideal self like?] Has helped me figure stuff out.
Also, it’s not a bad thing to want a high paying job with a big house and whatnot, it’s when you define your happiness by your stuff there’s problems. If you dream of one day owning a sports car, that’s fine, telling yourself you can’t be happy or successful without it is problematic.
Sorry if I’m not as helpful as everyone else, I’m in the same boat as you [or the very next boat lol] good luck figuring everything out.
Thanks everyone, this really helped me a lot.
Thanks guys, made me think.