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I’m only 22 years old, I did quite a while of different drugs (party and fun purpose only). My advice for a 52 years old man is probably not the best :p But I can say that this party period made me look differently at life. Your thoughts are intense and different when on drugs, it may change the way you feel about life and yourself. In many circumstances drugs negatively influence your brains, but experienced spiritual people may use it to think differently and perhaps find answers or insights.
I wouldn’t bother to much about the drugs, I don’t think it’s the right way to achieve spiritual goals either. What is it You’re looking for? What do you want to achieve if I may ask? I’m just being curious.
Good question Kevin. I’m not sure if visions or whatever you can have using drugs are real, I doubt that.
Anyways, I once used LSD on a festival, it opened my eyes. During the trip I could understand how life works, I don’t know why but at that point it was clear for me. I was very happy and thinking about my future. It felt like everything in my life was how it’s supposed to be and I was happy about what still had to come.
After that day this feeling remained, not that intense but the optimism in my mind was very unique for quite a while. Saddly, a month later my best friend died which made me lose that positive mindset.
Psychedelics make your brain work differently, which makes it possible to discover things you normally can’t. It may give you understanding about spiritual things, but I don’t think it’s actually that magical as some people describe it.
That’s my experience and opinion.
I understand that it’s hard to be social when your current feelings don’t allow you to.
You can try to start a conversation with a good question. Stupid example to make my point: You ask if he/she is a good cook (when you’re are not). People love it when someone is interested in their lives (I bet you know that 😉 ). Ask some things you want to know, and he/she will do the talking for you (in the beginning). It doens’t mather what you ask. Questions are the easiest way to get a conversation started or keep it going. That’s my experience and opinion.
Some people will ask questions about you when you’re talking to each other. If they do, they’re interested in who you are. And that’s the first step for friendship and feeling someone cares about you.
It’s just an idea, tell me what you think of that if you want, perhaps I can give some other idea’s if you don’t think that would help.
If I remember correctly, during the last weeks before that Saturday my shame was very intense, but no one knew I felt that. Only a few people even knew about the affair, my brother including, but he didn’t know I was feeling sad about it. Otherwise he wouldn’t say something like that, my brother is not an asshole, I have much respect for him. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much to hear that sentence from him. He’s very smart also, everyone knows he’s always right.
The shame was mainly caused by the fact that I’m 22 years old now and no one wants to be in a relationship with me. After the affair ended all my hope was lost, what made me sad.
“I know this feeling. I know shame.”, you wrote. Is there something specific that you experienced, if I may ask? I don’t want to force you to talk about yourself but if you absolutely don’t mind, please do 🙂
Thank you Anita for your time, you make me feel I’m not alone in this 🙂
I also met a girl with a depression. We met a few times, kissed, I even started to have feelings for her. 1 month later I first noticed her depression, and she’s been pushing me away ever since. At the moment she texts me like 1 time in a month, pretending to be happy. I gave up on her long ago.
Like Kim said they need to fix themselves first to get better. It’s hard to admit you can’t help someone you love, but in my opinion it’s the harsh truth.
If you don’t want to give up on him yet, try leaving presents at his door or write him a love letter or something. Do random nice things. Don’t force him to talk about his problems either. Always try to be his sunshine, be happy around him.
What you have to remember is that you don’t want change the way you treat him. Don’t text him less, don’t ask him out less, ACT NORMAL. Even if he blocks everything off, just keep cool and text again later. You may be the only stability in his life. Also, pets have the similar effect as valium. Pets are surprisingly effective against depressions.
A tip for your own mental health is to keep in mind that he will NEVER hurt you on purpose. Remember this at all times. People who are depressed only care about their own missery, they don’t have energy to take your needs into account. It looks selfish, but they simply lack energy.
I wouldn’t give up on him now, not yet. But don’t let his depression swallow you.
Good luck !
Lucid dreaming, you know what that is? If not you should look it up. There is a way to be able to remember your dreams every single night. Even better, you can know when you are actually dreaming, during this dream! You will be in a state where you experience your dreams the same way you experience being awake. If you are lucid (fully awareness while dreaming) you can do WHATEVER you want. There are exercises for remembering your dreams, these exercises involve thoughts right before you go to sleep. This very rewarding since you get to remember your dream the next day. This may look stupid to you, but this is what I when I can’t sleep because of bad thoughts. Also, this will make you fall asleep faster, it makes you tired to do these exercises.
I think you feel lonely, is that possible? Feel like no one really cares about what you’re doing?
I think it might help just talking to anyone in the club. It may be difficult for you to start a conversation to a random stranger, but how would you feel if a nice young man starts talking to you? Ask them about how they manage their lives, what their goals are. Doing this you can meet interesting and wise people, maybe make new friends. If they are not the type that you find wise, no problem, it’s just a talk. If not, the stories of their life may trigger idea’s for your own life. Maybe they can give you good advice. You will judge the advice of a total stranger without any influence of the type of relationship. This way you think clearly and you decide 100% for yourself if this advice is good or not.
As Anita said, good relationships are very important for a human being, but just a talk to a random stranger can be very interesting and lead to positivity and frienship.
I hope you find what you’re looking for, because I understand it’s hard to have no external motivation.
I’ve been reading many articles and posts on the internet but haven’t really found much answers. When I read conversations on this forum you and others also seem very kind and understanding. When I saw this topic I felt like joining and introducing myself. Maybe I’ll be able to help other people on this website, maybe I’ll find answers for my own, we’ll see.
My name is Regi, I’m in early twenties now. I haven’t had the easiest life but there are probably much people here who have had much worse. Usually when something really bad happens I stay strong on the outside. On the inside I may feel bad for some time but I recover very fast in my opinion. But about a year ago, a specific person said something specific, on a specific moment with specific people nearby. Since then I experience some sort of social anxiety (I think) and I was hoping to find some answers here.
It already felt surprisingly good writing this, it’s the first time I do something like this.
Thank you Anita for your time