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Big blue

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Viewing 15 posts - 226 through 240 (of 278 total)
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  • June 1, 2014 at 7:48 am in reply to: FaceBook *Sigh* #57830
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Inky-

    Good topic!

    I deactivated mine a while back when FB said they own what ever I upload like pictures, and doing their IPO on the strength of people sharing their lives and getting spammed. It was already becoming a social cactus to back into. I have to say my life is simpler. I stay in touch personally or with text and phone. Email. LinkedIn for work contacts.

    By the way because sites get hacked, use a made up email address that does not contain your name when you register. Also, use a scheme where your password is unique for each site.

    Big blue

    June 1, 2014 at 6:57 am in reply to: Off the Wagon and Seeking Advice #57822
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Kaelyn,

    It’s tragic when a person is caught with this terrible thing.

    My dad. My dad was untreated, kept it somewhat together and stuck it out the great generation way. It was no picnic for our family. He died of other causes at an old age.

    You have to take care of yourself, and as an adult you have choices.

    Unless you are codependent. Are you, and if so are you getting help yourself? If not you’ll stick with him even if you are harmed, or you’ll find someone else like him if you do leave.

    I just re-read my response and it is rightly sobering and I mean that very seriously.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    June 1, 2014 at 6:34 am in reply to: What's the story with CL MC? #57819
    Big blue
    Participant

    Ruminant – jaded EXACTLY thank you! But the furniture part is awesome. Super deals on like new stuff.. Although this one sofa seller wanted to fix me up with her neighbor :-/
    Typically people are moving and need to clear things out. Nice people.

    June 1, 2014 at 5:08 am in reply to: What's the story with CL MC? #57808
    Big blue
    Participant

    Moongal – Yes am on Quora, good site!

    Inky – LOL 🙂

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    May 30, 2014 at 6:08 pm in reply to: Acceptance and Truth in Love #57753
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Anna,

    Yes I agree with Jack – you can enjoy this time to yourself.

    And yes I agree with you Anna about small steps which will build for you over time. Congratulations to you for taking time for yourself, learning about yourself, focusing on yourself and respecting yourself … likely giant steps. Would you agree?

    Big blue

    May 30, 2014 at 5:15 am in reply to: Loss of hope #57703
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Tinyzebra,

    I’ve had similar experiences and found it very difficult. It takes a while to work through this. There is the actual other person, and to some degree there is the attachment part. You can do your best you can do it all but the other person has to care and commit, and sometimes that does not happen no matter how much we want it or need it or work at it. Letting go of the person and the idea of the relationship are hard to do, but it is possible.

    It helps to focus on yourself, your values, your interests, your life. Reframe the situation in the context of your life in the big world. Think big, forward thoughts. Read inspiring authors. Get out and be with strong, positive people. Take on some new challenges. Be kind and compassionate with yourself. In other words live your life.

    Big blue

    May 29, 2014 at 6:58 pm in reply to: Self Compassion #57676
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Ayame,

    As this problem is important to solve, and there is a time limit, plus you are breaking new ground, it seems clear that you need to focus. This means cut back on the here and there time demands. Or, maybe dedicate some quality time blocks. Sometimes I work an evening or on the weekend.

    About that focus, I’m starting a new job soon, so I am cutting back on my personal development time, knowing I’ll either be tired after full days with everything being new at work, or I’ll need some extra hours to ramp up.

    Taking a break on a regular basis will help you to manage the stress. Do you have a regular exercise program? Maybe take a a Spin class. That will clear your mind and give you more energy.

    One other thought comes to mind about you. You might revisit why you got into teaching – this can motivate you to succeed faster and better!

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    May 28, 2014 at 8:08 pm in reply to: Your stories ?! #57604
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Alice,

    I think I can share something relevant to help. But, first, I agree that Ruminant gets stars for providing the information about codependency. *****

    Ok (knuckle crack):

    – My parents had major issues and I was a fixer of problems. Empathy. Hope.
    – After they passed away, I went through my mid-life crisis. Opposite of peace.
    – In hindsight, I ended up finding surrogates for them – people with similar major issues. Yeah, eek. Hope. Empathy.
    – In each case, it took me months or years to realize what was happening. I ended the personal or professional relationships. Aha moments.
    – Now I know my tendency. Some peace.
    – I’m not in any personal or professional relationships like those. Although I recently had a close call. More peace.
    – I’m focusing on my personal growth. Peace. Empathy. Hope.

    Does this help?

    Big blue

    May 28, 2014 at 2:58 pm in reply to: What does it really mean to have passion for something? #57590
    Big blue
    Participant

    Im afraid that’s true 🙂

    May 28, 2014 at 11:17 am in reply to: What does it really mean to have passion for something? #57571
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Moongal,

    Sometimes there is s big challenge. So, I start on small, simple aspects to get momentum going. This can be a To Do list also.

    Years ago I had perfectionism issues so I would put things off.

    Or, something that is uncomfortable, like writing a term paper when you’re not into it.

    I’ve learned to push ahead despite some anxiety – things usually work out ok.

    Big blue

    May 28, 2014 at 9:40 am in reply to: What does it really mean to have passion for something? #57567
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Moongal,

    Adding to this good discussion, to me having a passion for something means that I am both into it and also moved by it, producing more than I might otherwise produce. So, my thinking and my emotion are working together for a better experience and usually a better outcome.

    An example for me is photography that is very focused on the composition. Another is when I’m in the flow working over time. In both cases, I’m in any given moment. And there are many, many moments creating an ongoing experience.

    Romantic passion kicks in a turbo boost of hormones. Sometimes the lower brain overwhelms the upper brain. By these Of course I’m talking about the limbic system and the cerebral cortex, or there bouts. 🙂

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    May 28, 2014 at 2:27 am in reply to: Long distance #57542
    Big blue
    Participant

    Thank you Lightsource!
    🙂

    May 27, 2014 at 6:51 pm in reply to: Long distance #57515
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Mayra Luna,

    Thanks that makes sense. Will see what this year brings.

    RE: the other thread. I read about your situation. While I’m sorry things got so difficult and you needed to break it off, your road forward is highly commendable! A good investment in yourself, and nice of you to help others with your steps ahead.

    Thanks for all the well wishes!
    I’m shy about hearts and all if that’s ok. 🙂

    Big blue

    May 27, 2014 at 3:15 pm in reply to: Long distance #57506
    Big blue
    Participant

    Thank you Natalie and Kelly. Your advice is very helpful.

    I’m sorry for how things went for you.

    Being able to count the days would be ideal….

    We would be within driving distance – so long weekends and vacation time could work to meet.

    (?)

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    May 27, 2014 at 4:59 am in reply to: Long distance #57458
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Mayra Luna,

    Hmm I expected to hear something like that… Thanks for sharing your experience.

    Big blue

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