Hi anita,

The difference is still the same as above –
Process – is the understanding and being in alignment of the loving consciousness – complex to understand for many
Steps – are the ones listed in the points – at least a way knowing what direction to take

I want to choose for myself to not respond for more back on forth. I did read your comment on another post about things getting messy due to the back and forth on a single thread. Since I started the thread as an OP I prefer to keep the post with more of the bulleted points.

Merry Christmas,

VJ

Breath Awareness

Excerpt – A New Earth ~Eckhart Tolle
Source: https://www.eckharttolle.com

Be aware of your breathing.

Notice the sensation of the breath. Feel the air moving in and out of your body.

Notice how the chest and abdomen expand and contract slightly with the in- and outbreath.

One conscious breath is enough to make some space where before there was the uninterrupted succession of one thought after another. One conscious breath (two or three would be even better), taken many times a day, is an excellent way of bringing space into your life.

Hi anita,

The effortless part that I was referring to was not about the process of finding love, but about the steps for the process of finding love. Hope the difference is clear. Fully agreed that the process is difficult, but that is exactly the reason this thread is here, to simplify the process, and that too from the real people with their own views and opinions. Simplicity in the steps where there is no spiritual mumbo jumbo concept involved easily understandable for a reader like JJC as in the example I provided about what s/he wrote. There are several several people who will still not understand what consciousness is, what the fish and the ocean analogy is, but will definitely understand what is mentioned in the 3 steps laid out by Nina above.

Take care,
VJ

Dear Maya,

Good you gained clarity on something that you didn’t have earlier. Even I didn’t intend to mention that you were challenging someone :-). But a wonderful thing happened at the end of your clarity. What you stated has made it to the list (as #13). Quickly go and take a look :-).

———————————————————————————————————————
Read Me:
Below are certain tips, pointers, guidelines for someone looking for a life partner/soulmate.
These are cumulatively added as and how the above conversations are made.
Not all of them may be applicable to every single person looking for love, so one of them may be contrary to another too, or a multiple combination of them may be working for you.
Pick what resonates with your soul the most, as that is what is required to you at this time. Keep applying, keep sharing.
Love, Light & Best Wishes in finding the love of your life!

I also invite both kinds of people, who are looking for love/or have already found, to feel free to directly add your own points at the end of the list, and keep the innumerable ways to find love growing.

1. It may happen somehow when you are least expecting it.
Keep your heart and mind open to the experience but have clarity over time about what a good partner would mean.

2. Some wait it out. It’s different for everyone.

3. Lessons for Love – “Each failed love story is an important lesson about oneself.”

4. Seeking love doesn’t mean we aren’t complete in ourself. It’s just that we are human and it’s a very basic need to feel connected deeply to someone.

5. Accept your Life as it is right now and be clear what are you looking for in your Soulmate. Start enjoying your life Right NOW and stop waiting

6. Connect with yourself through means like Meditation

7. Setting up a goal like finding love is what keeps us from finding it.

8a. Stop looking for it where it is not (in that abusive relationship, in that unloving person)

8b. Get curious about that person looking back at you in the mirror, learn more about who you are. How it all started for you (those Formative Years), how you became who you are.

8c. With #8b worked on over time, you can SEE who a potential love partner is: loving? – proceed. Not loving- go to #8a.

10. To find love, know thyself.

11. Love/Life always pushes upward to the light. Though it is painful it is still love.

12. For certain people, in certain circumstances, below may also hold true, so you need not worry if you are not able to find love for no reason at all –
There is NOTHING wrong with you or your situation. Love will come, and you deserve it, there is no fixing you have to do, you are not enough is ridiculous. It just hasn’t arrived yet for whatever reason.

13. Be the person you wish to seek.

Best Wishes,
VJ

Inputs from people who are especially looking for love (life partner) since quite some time and are not able to find are also required to comment with your own version of views over this thread, not for you to challenge anyone else’s ideas, but to gain insights and clarity on what does not work too. When you may know what does not work, you shall give way to what works. And then what works, will work for you.

Dear Maya, JJC. Glad you have responded with your own point of view. Thank you for your inputs and for your perception.
Perhaps what Peter attempted to say in No 7. is that –
When you try to chase a butterfly, you will not be able to catch hold of it. But if you sit around a corner, by yourself, it will come and softly sit on your shoulder.

Peter, Thanks for your response. I have inserted some as points at the bottom. True. Understanding and wisdom are different. But it is equally true that wisdom can be applied only when it is understood.

anita, Thank you. Your responses and clarifications on the 3 points are going to be useful to me and to members coming across those points. It seems to be a lot of work. Or may be not, for some. Don’t know if finding the love of your life requires so much to do. Only experience, who is the best teacher, can tell. I know it was me who asked for clarification and hence you provided them, and I truly appreciate that. I am also more of intending for some key pointers that can straight away give clarity for someone say like JJC in the post above who states “I don’t really understand or connect with any of the intellectualism that has gone before in this thread.”
Something really simple, effortless. You have already listed them as those 3 points.
So keep them coming and keep posting, as I understand, and also that you have mentioned, that just one realization is not enough.

————————————————————————————————————————
Read Me:
Below are certain tips, pointers, guidelines for someone looking for a life partner/soulmate.
These are cumulatively added as and how the above conversations are made.
Not all of them may be applicable to every single person looking for love, so one of them may be contrary to another too, or a multiple combination of them may be working for you. Keep applying, keep sharing.
Love, Light & Best Wishes in finding the love of your life!

I also invite both kinds of people, who are looking for love/or have already found, to feel free to directly add your own points at the end of the list, and keep the innumerable ways to find love growing.

1. It may happen somehow when you are least expecting it.
Keep your heart and mind open to the experience but have clarity over time about what a good partner would mean.

2. Some wait it out. It’s different for everyone.

3. Lessons for Love – “Each failed love story is an important lesson about oneself.”

4. Seeking love doesn’t mean we aren’t complete in ourself. It’s just that we are human and it’s a very basic need to feel connected deeply to someone.

5. Accept your Life as it is right now and be clear what are you looking for in your Soulmate. Start enjoying your life Right NOW and stop waiting

6. Connect with yourself through means like Meditation

7. Setting up a goal like finding love is what keeps us from finding it.

8a. Stop looking for it where it is not (in that abusive relationship, in that unloving person)

8b. Get curious about that person looking back at you in the mirror, learn more about who you are. How it all started for you (those Formative Years), how you became who you are.

8c. With #8b worked on over time, you can SEE who a potential love partner is: loving? – proceed. Not loving- go to #8a.

10. To find love, know thyself.

11. Love/Life always pushes upward to the light. Though it is painful it is still love.

12. For certain people, in certain circumstances, below may also hold true, so you need not worry if you are not able to find love for no reason at all –
There is NOTHING wrong with you or your situation. Love will come, and you deserve it, there is no fixing you have to do, you are not enough is ridiculous. It just hasn’t arrived yet for whatever reason.

Best Wishes,
VJ

Hi Anita,

Appreciate your response.
Agreed, point taken (and added as #11).

More questions <-> for more clarity

I introspected on your 3 points. Those are summarised as 8, 9, 10 below.
What does “learn more about who you are” include?
What does “work” in No. 10 mean?

Secondly, say for example, I or anybody looking for a life partner have realised that “Yes I did not get the love from my parents during my formative years” – Then what after this? Will this realization be sufficient enough to find the love of my life?

————————————————————————————————————————

1. It may happen somehow when you are least expecting it.
Keep your heart and mind open to the experience but have clarity over time about what a good partner would mean.

2. Some wait it out. It’s different for everyone.

3. Lessons for Love – “Each failed love story is an important lesson about oneself.”

4. Seeking love doesn’t mean we aren’t complete in ourself. It’s just that we are human and it’s a very basic need to feel connected deeply to someone.

5. Accept your Life as it is right now and be clear what are you looking for in your Soulmate. Start enjoying your life Right NOW and stop waiting

6. Connect with yourself through means like Meditation

7. Setting up a goal like finding love is what keeps us from finding it.

8. Stop looking for it where it is not (in that abusive relationship, in that unloving person)

9. Get curious about that person looking back at you in the mirror, learn more about who you are. How it all started for you (those Formative Years), how you became who you are.

10. With #9 worked on over time, you can SEE who a potential love partner is: loving? – proceed. Not loving- go to #8.

11. To find love, know thyself.

~VJ

Thank you Nina, Maya, Peter, Anita for your valued inputs. I have collated your pointers at the bottom and will be doing it cumulatively, so a reader landing on this page gets a summarized gist of the thread. Please feel free to add/edit and to give more of your ideas which are going to keep coming to your mind quite often.

Hi Peter: (or can also be answered by all other members of the site)
Thanks again.

“‘Fish don’t know they’re in water’ likewise Humanity don’t know they’re in ‘love’”

I understand this concept. Fish is a part of the ocean but ocean is not a part of the fish, although they both are ONE. Love is all the consciousness there is and we humans are a not only a part of it, we are that consciousness.
I have come across this concept during my spiritual quest and understand it theoretically and also agree to it. The difficult portion is for its practical application, and which is why so many people end up frustrated on what to do for finding a life partner.

A question after understanding this concept that arises to me is – What can one do practically to access that loving consciousness that is all there? Then my findings have told me answers like – You need to become love. Doing love is different than being love. I very well understand and agree that something such as ‘being nice, sweet and kind to people’ is not being but it is doing (intentional people pleasing) and so is tiresome when one does not find a partner after all of this. Then a question arises on how to BE love? What could be the practical ways to manifest that soul mate?

Some take years to find that ONE or some may even take a lifetime, or may be some may even not find a suitable one in this lifetime. A question arises where are these people lacking? Are they not loving enough? Are they not complete, which then brings to answers like Point #4 below. Then what else is required.

What will “seeing with eyes anew” mean to someone looking for love and reading this post?

I know there is nothing such as a 3-step formula to find a life partner, but any practical tips as short bullet points to some of above questions that can be added to the below list of pointers are most welcome.

Yes, my question is only specific to a personal relationship with another person hence the wordings in my post which started the thread – “How to find a soulmate, a life partner?”

——————————————————————————————————————————-

1. It may happen somehow when you are least expecting it.
Keep your heart and mind open to the experience but have clarity over time about what a good partner would mean.

2. Some wait it out. It’s different for everyone.

3. Lessons for Love – “Each failed love story is an important lesson about oneself.”

4. Seeking love doesn’t mean we aren’t complete in ourself. It’s just that we are human and it’s a very basic need to feel connected deeply to someone.

5. Accept your Life as it is right now and be clear what are you looking for in your Soulmate. Start enjoying your life Right NOW and stop waiting

6. Connect with yourself through means like Meditation

7. Setting up a goal like finding love is what keeps us from finding it.

8. Stop looking for it where it is not (in that abusive relationship, in that unloving person)

9. Get curious about that person looking back at you in the mirror, learn more about who you are. How it all started for you (those Formative Years), how you became who you are.

10. With #9 worked on over time, you can SEE who a potential love partner is: loving? – proceed. Not loving- go to #8.

Take Care all of you,
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by VJ.
• This reply was modified 8 years ago by VJ.