Dear Jared,

“Thoughts about the birth, and health of our baby. About the health of my wife, and my ability to be both the husband and father I need to be.”

These are all going to be anxious thoughts. For a change don’t take the thoughts too seriously. I know, you could say “What if these problems are not thoughts and they really come into my life”. For that, do only what is the need of the moment. Planning for the future may well be the need of the moment. But make sure that you are planning and not worrying.

Worrying is like creating a mental script of the outcome of a situation even before it has happened and then using that to scare ourselves.

Planning in your case would be something like – make all the necessary arrangements for the delivery of the baby, good doctor, good hospital, (which I’m sure you may be already doing that), anything that will take care of both the mother and the baby, insurance arrangements etc. or anything else that you know best about your situation.

Regarding your ability to be both the husband and father you need to be –
Take it in a different way – you should now be relieved and confident enough after your first child…so you are now experienced in this situation.

Of course, although I do hope, wish and pray for the good, I do not want to convey that things always go 100% fine. It is life and certain things are beyond our control. So then what to do? – Do only the things that are under our control. Take all the necessary precautions and make all the required arrangements and once you have done that just BE in the present moment.

“The present moment is never intolerable. It is always what is coming in five minutes or five days that makes people despair. The Law of Life is to live in the present, and this applies to both time and place. Keep your attention to the present moment, and in the place where your body is now. Do a fair day’s work, and then stop.” ~Emmet Fox

“Stress is caused by being here but wanting to be there, or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It’s a split that tears you apart inside.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Realize deeply where you are now. You are already thinking about what kind of a father you are going to be even before the child is born. Think about it when that situation comes into your life…ie; when that becomes your present moment and act accordingly at that moment.

“A short while ago I also lost my job. Now for the most part, This has been ok. We are not in financial distress, and my body definitely needed the break (industrial construction), and this has allowed me to spend more time with my family and help my wife with our toddler. But once again, with the time now to be introspective, I’ve constantly been thinking about what I will do to support them if I am unable to find work again when I need to, have I been doing all that I can?”

Based on personal experiences this break in your life has come for taking rest and to enjoy with your family. You will get into a job very soon and will be back on track.
Apply the same things as described above in the first question. Do all the needful things but without worrying about them – applying to jobs, discussing with friends about employment opportunities, talking with old employers, making any possible financial investments, discussing with your wife only if she is in a position to do so, etc…you will know what all could be done.

I do not think you are going to come to a situation to live on the roads…..I’m sure even you know about it.

And then once you are done quickly come back to the present moment.

“Lump in the leg…There’s a great chance it’s nothing to worry about, but there’s a small chance it is. This has me feeling terrified.”
Let the doctor worry about it and handle it. You are paying for that.
Rest all as explained above is still applicable here.

“This hasn’t helped my Insomnia, which has flared back up.
I’m just having a very hard time with all of this, lots of anxiety, not sleeping well”

For anxiety and sleep do these breathing exercises per the instructions laid out here…
(http://tinybuddha.com/topic/relaxation-meditation-techniques/#post-114812)

For sleep count the numbers backwards – ie; from 100 to 1
(http://www.magicwandcoach.com/count-to-sleep.htm)

You are guaranteed to fall asleep and you won’t even know at what number you went asleep. If there is a lot of mental/emotinal turmoil then don’t forget to do the breathing exercises before the counting.

Take care and please do convey the joyful news of the li’l one.

VJ.

Dear Norit,

I got to read your post now. I suggest to not get too much into the “thoughts world” else the egoic mind will take you to difficult places and things will become chaotic. Straight-away get to the action point – which is – get the PDFs -> go through them -> implement them – and start loving yourself.

If you had registered after your last post, I hope by now you might away received most of free books, one pdf email at a time.

Take care,
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by VJ.

Dear jonathananderson,

After the hectic and strenuous workdays that you explained you might want to take time to relax. But for some, relaxation is also boring and they want to be engaged into something and utilize any available time.

How about using this time to share information to the people out there in the world who are looking for something exactly that you have a good knowledge/interest about?

Since you said about your skills on equine/horses/stable, I looked-up over these Q&A websites and found the below links.
You can subscribe to them (for free) and start posting your answers for the benefit of others and also in some cases ask your own questions about the same (or if bored b’cos its same as work then any other) topic. Also in some cases where you are not fully aware of something you can do the research over the web and then go back and answer that question.

Yahoo Answers
(https://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index?sid=2115500432)
Look for the ‘Discover’ and the ‘Answer tabs.

Quora
(https://www.quora.com/topic/Horses-and-Ponies)

(https://www.quora.com/topic/Horseback-Riding)

(https://www.quora.com/topic/Equines)

The questions keep coming on and on. When I posted these links there were many open ended questions which may be answered by the time you open these links and there may be more new questions.

Have a happy time & Take Care,
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by VJ.
• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by VJ.
• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by VJ.

Hello Mr. Alex,

After you have mentioned your age you seem to be a father figure to me.
For releasing need of approval (validation) I will want to suggest “The Release Technique” ….more in the below post.
(http://tinybuddha.com/topic/how-to-look-after-myself/#post-117234)

——–
As a side note, from your post and the title the feeling seems to be (extreme) intense. For intensities that are stuck in our body’s energetic system Bach Flower Remedies are helpful in that matter.

Do you see any of these things occurring with you?
(http://www.bachflower.com/bach-flower-remedy-questionnaire)
(http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/remedies.htm)

If yes, note down the name(s) of the Bach flower remedy/ies and you may want to take them as suggested in these websites or anywhere over the web. They are also readily available as individual bottles on Amazon too.

I suggest you to research more about “Bach Flower remedies” on the web and if you are keen to buy them I will be able to help you with some links.

Take Care,
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by VJ.

Dear Mia,

To answer your how do I do it myself? part …

You have only four things you can do in life in terms of those thoughts/feelings/emotions that you explained or even any other ones for that matter. The first three are suppression, escape, and expression. The fourth is by Releasing.

Getting straight to the point to let you know on a practical method – It’s called as the Release Technique.
There are many release techniques, the Sedona method being one of them.

The method that I learnt was “The Release Technique” and I learnt it from the book on the below link-
(https://www.amazon.com/Abundance-Book-Lawrence-Crane/dp/0971175500)

It assists you in categorizing everything into 3 types of “wants”. (as per Release Technique Wanting = Lacking)
– Wanting approval or love
– Wanting control
– Wanting safety or security or survival

And then Releasing them.

This technique will not only help to release unwanted thoughts/feelings/emotions but also can be applied in other areas of life like- health, wealth, relationships, abundance.

You will get everything from the book, but if you are also interested into some paid customized programs then you can find them from their official site – http://www.releasetechnique.com/
Also when I did the purchase at the end of the book there were instructions on attending their free Wednesday ‘Releasing’ calls which helped a lot. I’m not sure if the book still has that option but if interested in it then you can get to know more using the contact option from their official website.

Take Care & Happy Releasing,
VJ

Dear humour,

“I get easily attached to people and go through immense suffering as a result.”
This has been my problem too…of getting attached to people and then in turn that creates problems.
I will suggest you a few things and if you do them you will surely be back on track with your own life.

For non attachment-

For detachment in a healthy way please follow the two energy healing exercises explained in the below link.
(http://tinybuddha.com/topic/i-can-not-live-normal-anymore-i-can-not-accept-it/#post-113485)
In the 2nd exercise start with the name of the person about whom you feel the strongest attachment.
Continue to do it diligently for this person.
Once this person no longer bothers you “in your head” then move on to the next strongest person…and so on.

If you do not have any particular person(s) against whom you feel attached OR if there are lot many people you need to disconnect yourself with then do more of the 1st exercise.
These two exercises will cut the negative energy cords (of attachment) between you and other people.

For self control, to feel confident about yourself and to not catch the attachment vibes with other people- do Donna Eden’s ZipUp technique explained here-
(http://tinybuddha.com/topic/done-with-the-negative-engery-i-hope/#post-114161)

For freedom from unwanted emotions- and releasing them you can follow either one or both of the below methods-
1. EFT (or Emotional Freedom Techniques) is good for freeing yourself from any emotions.
There are lots of videos and articles over the web explaining how to do EFT. Check them out, but if you are also ok with some EFT tapping scripts at a small paid amount then I recommend the below website.
This is a wonderful website for EFT scripts on almost every single issue on our day to day lives.
(http://tap-easy.com)
Also, the owner of the site Sonal Pandey will respond in case you have any queries/questions/doubts.

2. For releasing unwanted emotions you can also know more about the below two techniques
The Release Technique
Official website: (http://www.releasetechnique.com)

I learned this technique from the below book and also attended their free Wednesday ‘Releasing’ calls.
(https://www.amazon.com/Abundance-Book-Lawrence-Crane/dp/0971175500)

For Self compassion-
For self-love please follow the steps I have explained in this post.
(http://tinybuddha.com/topic/how-can-i-love-myself/page/2/#post-115352)
Those free pdfs are really of great value.

Take Care,
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by VJ.

Hi None,

Due to the unforeseen situations in your life perhaps your state of mind has become more of asking for questions rather than looking for answers.
I have already pointed out to you to look for the free resources giving you the link, but in turn you have again asked me what should you be doing. I didn’t find anything from your post to me that you “will look” or “have looked” at those 9 free resources that the website already has.

http://i.imgsafe.org/e0c1624339.jpg

Also, you are already having “healing” and “releasing” conversations on this thread which is a good thing for you and so as I mentioned you are already on your journey towards the healing process. It’s not going to be as simple as “I am feeling hungry, I’ll have something to eat and then my hunger will go away”. This is applicable to your life problems as well as mine. The cleansing process of the soul is not so easy and at times one has to “go through” the suffering and painful situations in order to be truly healed. To minimise the emotional pain to “pass through” your karma there are lot many healing techniques and modalities all over the web and are easily searchable and reachable.
Wherever you go people are going to “point” you to a direction but “going there and coming” is going to be your job. This is where the quest of your soul is going to come into play.

Best Regards,
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by VJ.

Hi Norit,

“I would like to love myself, to care about myself, to actually want to live a life for myself, but it seems hopeless. I don’t know what to do. Is it possible to change?

“I’m not entirely sure of what to say, only that I want do want to say things, and want to change. I don’t know what direction to go in. I don’t know.”

Here is a straight direction for you for more of self-love.

Register for free on this page. You can use an alias email id if you prefer to not use your original email Id.

http://www.globalloveproject.com/gifts/

You will receive the 5 pdfs mentioned on the above page.

I’ve got all of these PDFs and just to let you know they are not long boring pdfs to read…

1. Secrets to Loving Yourself! – 18 pages
2. 10 ROAD-BLOCKS TO SELF LOVE – 15 pages

…are just couple of examples.

And if you are interested in something with a small paid amount then check out the below link from the same person as for the above ones (Aine Belton) which includes daily emails, steps, processes, exercises, guided meditations (more on the link below)

(http://www.30dayselflovejourney.com)

Share your experience of love here.

Best Wishes!
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by VJ.