10 Keys to Happier Living
Source: ActionForHappiness.org
Posts tagged with “acceptance”
Coping with Loss and Heartbreak: How to Get Through the Pain
“The unendurable is the beginning of the curve of joy.” ~Djuna Barnes
November, 2014. A story you’ve heard a million times. The person I believed with all my heart to be “the one” ceased to feel the same way about me.
My heart and soul shattered, I had no desire to live, the whole works.
Having your heart broken, especially by someone you truly loved is, from my perspective, the worst kind of pain there is. It makes you lose all sense of self, reality, purpose, and faith. To me, it felt like my soul was being severed …
You Don’t Have to Adjust Who You Are to Please Others
“If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself.” ~Jocelyn Murray
Do you say yes to things only to keep people happy?
Do you fear saying and doing what you actually want?
I know how that feels.
From a young age, I was the polite, good girl. I rarely rebelled. I wanted to keep everyone happy. I thought that if I was honest I’d be rejected. That those closest to me wouldn’t love me. I thought I’d end up alone.
At friends’ houses, asked what I’d like to drink or eat, I would always respond with …
Open-Minded People
Source: The Mind Unleashed
Healing Is a Journey, Not a Destination (and You’re Not Broken)
“Healing requires from us to stop struggling, but to enjoy life more and endure it less.” ~Darina Stoyanova
At the age of twenty-seven I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis, chronic inflammation of the bladder that causes UTI like symptoms. I am now twenty-nine and still experiencing symptoms, but I have improved greatly.
I have spent that time searching for the answers to this medical enigma, for which doctors claim there is no cure. At first my research led me on a path of frustration and hopelessness, until I realized that my mindset was what was holding me back from healing.…
How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over the Little Things
“You are perfect just as you are and you could use a little improvement.” ~Shunryu Suzuki-roshi
A few weeks ago, I had a day that I felt like an utter failure.
I had eaten junk food even though I was trying to get healthy. I’d skipped out on going to the gym for no good reason. I forgot to call my parents even though I promised them I would. I didn’t meet my daily writing goals and ended up watching two movies I’d already seen.
In other words, I slid into a lot of bad habits all at once.
I …
Why It’s Okay to Be Right Where You Are in Life
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~Arthur Ashe
Whenever I go see my Rolfer Jennie, I look forward to the wisdom she shares with me. As a Rolfer and Bodyworker of twenty-five years and an expert in the mind-body connection, she has it by the bucket-load.
Recently, upon visiting her, I fell into my old familiar trap of wanting to be ‘fixed’ or perhaps wanting her to have a simple answer for me with regards to some tension in my inner leg that had been progressing (even though I’m fully aware things are never …
Letting Go of Attachment: From A to Zen
“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama
If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we want to feel happy; and on the other side of that coin, we want to avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain.
We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we often get stuck in …
A Simple Practice to Appreciate Our Bodies, Flaws and All
“Who does not thank for little does not thank for much.” ~Estonian Proverb
I remember the moment so well: I had been seeing a new guy for a few months and I was staying the night for the first time. Up until that point he hadn’t seen me without heavy makeup, as I was careful to always look completely put together while with him.
That night I had to make a decision.
I could fall asleep with my makeup still on, or I could remove it first. Did I feel comfortable enough to let him see me without foundation, eyeliner, …
Why We Should Accept Our Foes and Adversaries
“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.” ~George Orwell
Reading the above title, you may be thinking, “Why should I accept people who are trying to harm or cause me trouble? They are the last people I would want to accept!” I know I used to feel that way.
It’s clearly unnerving to think about accepting those that we feel are toxic, and even more challenging to do so.
However, when I look back, I now realize that I suffered unnecessarily from my refusal to accept such people, both in terms of greater personal anguish and poorer results.
This became …
How Non-Attachment Can Benefit Your Relationship
“You only lose what you cling to.” ~Buddha
I remember one of my first mindfulness classes that pertained to impermanence. I went home in a bit of a slump.
Nothing is permanent; everything ends; “This too, shall pass.” It was quite a shock to the system.
After getting over what, on surface level, seemed to be incredibly dire, I realized that this could be incredibly liberating.
Enter the principle of non-attachment, a notion that has the potential to aid in the evolving nature of day-to-day life.
Rather than clinging to things—relationships, jobs, material goods—hoping that they will last forever, or …
How Accepting the “Bad” Can Lead to Joy and Growth
“The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.” ~Thich Nhat Hạnh
Since I was little, I’ve been taught to avoid what’s “bad” and move toward what’s “good.”
Growing up, my mom would work day and night not only to support me and my little brother with the basic necessities, but to give us a “good” life.
She loved us, so naturally she wanted to support us and to give us happiness, and …
Accepting Delays and Appreciating the Gift of Empty Time
“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.” ~Eckhart Tolle
A few weeks ago I had a soccer game about a half-hour away from my house, in the middle of nowhere.
Grumbling about the heat and the length of the game, I walked down to the field where my team was seated under a tent. In truth, I love playing soccer, but for some reason I was annoyed at how big a chunk of my day it took.…
How Self-Awareness Can Help Us Love People Just as They Are
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~C.G. Jung
We were visiting my parents’ place in the woods for the weekend. I unlocked the door to the cabin and flipped the switch. The lights didn’t come on, so I began rapidly flipping other switches. I hollered at my husband to come have a look.
He walked to the breaker box in the back. I heard popping as he flipped them on and off. He shouted every so often, “Try the front room!” I reported back, “Nope.”
“Try the bedroom!” I reported back again, …
How to Make Anxiety Work for You, Not Against You
“Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.” ~Jean Vanier
I got fired from my job, my boyfriend left me, and my father died in one day.
In reality, my career was going super well, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and my father was amazingly healthy, but what I did have was something I call an ultra amazing imagination, where I would make up fascinating stories about things that could happen and worry about them. (Or as other people call it, general anxiety disorder.)
I met my now BFF anxiety when I was about ten years old. Initially, …
Learn To Flourish When You Are Not In Control
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~Steve Maraboli
On December 31, 2011 I experienced something I will never be able to blink away. I watched as my twelve-year-old daughter convulsed, turned blue, and stopped breathing on the floor of our living room.
Time stood still. I heard my blood whoosh through my ears. I became a helpless observer. This simply couldn’t be happening to us; she was fine only a moment ago.
I remember the exact moment when I …
Love Challenge #218: You’re A Lot Like Me
We’re all a lot more alike than we are different!
(This challenge comes from the upcoming book Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges. Pre-order before October 6th and get $300+ in free bonus gifts!)
19 Simple Daily Habits for a Happier Life
“Hug harder. Laugh louder. Smile bigger. Love longer.” ~Unknown
Did you ever have it all mixed up?
Happiness, I mean. I once thought that a university degree and good grades would make me happy. I thought that traveling the world would leave me feeling fulfilled. I thought that moving abroad and getting that top-notch job would make me satisfied and content.
They all did, but only for a while. They always came with an expiration date.
Finally, I had to stop and ask myself, “If I’m not able to be truly happy now, will I ever be?” If I couldn’t …
Love Challenge #233: My Way Isn’t Right
We’d all be so much happier, and we’d get along a lot better, if we accepted that everyone does things differently!
(This challenge comes from the upcoming book Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges. Pre-order before October 6th and get $300+ in free bonus gifts!)
How Taking No Action Can Help You Change Your Life
“If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” ~Roman Price
For years and years I was in denial. I denied the obvious dysfunction in my marriage, and how terribly unhappy I was in it.
I told myself over and over that things would change and get better, that it wouldn’t be this way forever, and that I could find a way to be happy with how things were.
I had long given up hope that my spouse would change, but I have to admit, I joyfully splashed around …
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