Posts tagged with “control”
Why Letting Go of What We Want Enables Us to Get What We Need
“The most exquisite paradox: as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than you ever dreamed possible.” ~Ram Dass
The first time I felt this paradox was in the middle of savasana after a challenging yoga class. I always say that yoga is a metaphor for life, and this is exactly why.
Savasana is the final resting pose in which you lay flat on your back, close your eyes, and do nothing. A super yummy savasana …
How to Change Your Life When It Feels Like Nothing is Going Your Way
“The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.” ~Timothy Gallwey
Have you ever wanted something so desperately that you became devastated after many failed attempts to get it?
Has the same pattern kept repeating itself no matter how you tried to change it?
Have you ever longed for something so deeply that you lost interest in …
Inner Peace
Source: Lessons Taught by Life
Choosing Inspiration Over Intimidation: How the Unknown Can Empower You
“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on what I was like when I was kid.
Back then, what I didn’t know seemed magical. It gave me room to imagine, to fill in the blanks with my own creative inspiration, and to live with a sense of wonder and awe.
I loved fantasizing and daydreaming and imagining what magical situation might be brewing in my life.
As children, curiosity was a natural and automatic part of us, and what we didn’t know didn’t scare us. …
Relinquishing Control of Others: 5 Ways It Serves You
“Selfishness is not living your life as you wish to live it. Selfishness is wanting others to live their lives as you wish them to.” ~Oscar Wilde
My mother is a huge control freak. I am told she got it from my grandmother, who basically ran everyone’s life.
Regardless, growing up, I noticed that she really struggled with relinquishing control of what we were all doing with our lives.
It was partly out of love because she just wanted what was best for us, and partly because she feels a sense of panic when she doesn’t know what’s going to …
Holiday Love Challenge #4: Give Yourself the Gift of Peace
Want more ideas to strengthen your relationships? Get Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges.
How to Stop Pushing and Stressing About Your Goals
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
I’ve encountered many people who live by the belief that in order to be successful, one must “go out and make things happen.” I used to feel the same until I realized that we don’t actually have control over most aspects of our lives.
We can attempt to make things happen, but doing so doesn’t guarantee anything—it only develops yearning, which leads to suffering.
Take my recent job search, for example. I spent nine months looking for a job. I applied …
Learn To Flourish When You Are Not In Control
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~Steve Maraboli
On December 31, 2011 I experienced something I will never be able to blink away. I watched as my twelve-year-old daughter convulsed, turned blue, and stopped breathing on the floor of our living room.
Time stood still. I heard my blood whoosh through my ears. I became a helpless observer. This simply couldn’t be happening to us; she was fine only a moment ago.
I remember the exact moment when I …
Lashing Out is Losing Control; Calmness Is Strength and Power
“Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power.” ~James Allen
I would like to share something personal with you. It’s the story of how I first glimpsed what true strength and power is and where they come from. I hope this story helps to further illuminate your journey through life.
I remember one day when I was in the back seat of my parents’ car. I was probably about thirteen years old. We were parked in a hotel driveway, waiting, though I can’t recall why.
After a few minutes, another car pulled up behind ours and the driver …
Plan Less and Enjoy More: Give Yourself Space to Simply Be
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” ~Mandy Hale
I’m a Type A personality who formerly scheduled days, weeks, and even seasons in advance. I planned my day, my meals, and my activities, as well as those of my family, with the precision of a military regiment.
Why? Part of it was control and part of it fear. The fear led to wanting to control. Letting things happen naturally without a plan would certainly mean chaos would ensue.
I had reached the stage in my life where I …
The Art of Allowing: Let Go of Control and Go with the Flow
“Accepting, allowing, and interacting with your life as though it is exactly as it should be, without making yourself wrong (or right) for what you discover is the way to Self-Realization.” ~Ariel Kane
When you’re confused about what to do next, fully surrendering to the possibilities will help you see a clear path ahead.
It all started the day I had lunch with my university friend Sarah.
Sarah had been traveling since graduation and was full of exotic tales about life in other countries—different languages, foods, and cultures.
What she was experiencing sounded amazing. She told me she had no …
How To Move Forward When You Feel Paralyzed by Uncertainty
“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle
A woman in a relationship that is breaking her spirit might remain there for fear of what leaving will bring.
She doesn’t know if she will find another to care for her, and having a warm body is better than having no one. The uncertainty about whether or not she will survive that decision, and be happier for it, keeps her there.
I know the harsh clutches of uncertainty all too well. It wasn’t long ago that I waffled and wavered about every decision I …
Why We Should Stop Trying
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.” ~Edith Wharton
Several years ago a well-known Zen Master accepted me as a long distance student. In one of our first email exchanges I wrote, “Dear Teacher, I am trying to sit every day for thirty minutes and in my practice I am trying to follow my breath.”
“Please,” he wrote back, “stop trying. You are your breath.”
I remember reading his words and feeling perplexed, confused, almost annoyed. What in the world did he mean? Wasn’t it obvious that we had no choice but …
10 Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Be Happy
“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” ~Dale Carnegie
There was a time when I didn’t think I could ever be happy.
I felt alone. I felt confused. And I felt overwhelmed.
Luckily, that all began to change when I started looking inside. I discovered how I was the cause of my unhappiness.
And I discovered what stood between me and enjoying life.
Here are ten of the things I discovered:
1. Neglecting
…
How to Let Go of Expectations: Lessons from My Dog
“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” ~Tom Robbins
Have you ever finally gotten something you longed for only to find that things didn’t work out as expected?
I know I have.
I firmly believed that having a dog was the answer to some of my desires, such as having more meaning in my life and receiving love on demand from another life.
I bought into irrefutable sayings like, “Dogs love unconditionally,” and, “Dogs are man’s best friend,” and, “Dogs are loyal.”
As it turns out, the reality can be very different. And yes, those …
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