Inner Peace
Source: Lessons Taught by Life
Posts tagged with “control”
Choosing Inspiration Over Intimidation: How the Unknown Can Empower You
“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on what I was like when I was kid.
Back then, what I didn’t know seemed magical. It gave me room to imagine, to fill in the blanks with my own creative inspiration, and to live with a sense of wonder and awe.
I loved fantasizing and daydreaming and imagining what magical situation might be brewing in my life.
As children, curiosity was a natural and automatic part of us, and what we didn’t know didn’t scare us. …
Relinquishing Control of Others: 5 Ways It Serves You
“Selfishness is not living your life as you wish to live it. Selfishness is wanting others to live their lives as you wish them to.” ~Oscar Wilde
My mother is a huge control freak. I am told she got it from my grandmother, who basically ran everyone’s life.
Regardless, growing up, I noticed that she really struggled with relinquishing control of what we were all doing with our lives.
It was partly out of love because she just wanted what was best for us, and partly because she feels a sense of panic when she doesn’t know what’s going to …
Holiday Love Challenge #4: Give Yourself the Gift of Peace
Want more ideas to strengthen your relationships? Get Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges.
How to Stop Pushing and Stressing About Your Goals
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
I’ve encountered many people who live by the belief that in order to be successful, one must “go out and make things happen.” I used to feel the same until I realized that we don’t actually have control over most aspects of our lives.
We can attempt to make things happen, but doing so doesn’t guarantee anything—it only develops yearning, which leads to suffering.
Take my recent job search, for example. I spent nine months looking for a job. I applied …
Learn To Flourish When You Are Not In Control
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~Steve Maraboli
On December 31, 2011 I experienced something I will never be able to blink away. I watched as my twelve-year-old daughter convulsed, turned blue, and stopped breathing on the floor of our living room.
Time stood still. I heard my blood whoosh through my ears. I became a helpless observer. This simply couldn’t be happening to us; she was fine only a moment ago.
I remember the exact moment when I …
Lashing Out is Losing Control; Calmness Is Strength and Power
“Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power.” ~James Allen
I would like to share something personal with you. It’s the story of how I first glimpsed what true strength and power is and where they come from. I hope this story helps to further illuminate your journey through life.
I remember one day when I was in the back seat of my parents’ car. I was probably about thirteen years old. We were parked in a hotel driveway, waiting, though I can’t recall why.
After a few minutes, another car pulled up behind ours and the driver …
Plan Less and Enjoy More: Give Yourself Space to Simply Be
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” ~Mandy Hale
I’m a Type A personality who formerly scheduled days, weeks, and even seasons in advance. I planned my day, my meals, and my activities, as well as those of my family, with the precision of a military regiment.
Why? Part of it was control and part of it fear. The fear led to wanting to control. Letting things happen naturally without a plan would certainly mean chaos would ensue.
I had reached the stage in my life where I …
The Art of Allowing: Let Go of Control and Go with the Flow
“Accepting, allowing, and interacting with your life as though it is exactly as it should be, without making yourself wrong (or right) for what you discover is the way to Self-Realization.” ~Ariel Kane
When you’re confused about what to do next, fully surrendering to the possibilities will help you see a clear path ahead.
It all started the day I had lunch with my university friend Sarah.
Sarah had been traveling since graduation and was full of exotic tales about life in other countries—different languages, foods, and cultures.
What she was experiencing sounded amazing. She told me she had no …
How To Move Forward When You Feel Paralyzed by Uncertainty
“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle
A woman in a relationship that is breaking her spirit might remain there for fear of what leaving will bring.
She doesn’t know if she will find another to care for her, and having a warm body is better than having no one. The uncertainty about whether or not she will survive that decision, and be happier for it, keeps her there.
I know the harsh clutches of uncertainty all too well. It wasn’t long ago that I waffled and wavered about every decision I …
Why We Should Stop Trying
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.” ~Edith Wharton
Several years ago a well-known Zen Master accepted me as a long distance student. In one of our first email exchanges I wrote, “Dear Teacher, I am trying to sit every day for thirty minutes and in my practice I am trying to follow my breath.”
“Please,” he wrote back, “stop trying. You are your breath.”
I remember reading his words and feeling perplexed, confused, almost annoyed. What in the world did he mean? Wasn’t it obvious that we had no choice but …
10 Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Be Happy
“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” ~Dale Carnegie
There was a time when I didn’t think I could ever be happy.
I felt alone. I felt confused. And I felt overwhelmed.
Luckily, that all began to change when I started looking inside. I discovered how I was the cause of my unhappiness.
And I discovered what stood between me and enjoying life.
Here are ten of the things I discovered:
1. Neglecting
…
How to Let Go of Expectations: Lessons from My Dog
“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” ~Tom Robbins
Have you ever finally gotten something you longed for only to find that things didn’t work out as expected?
I know I have.
I firmly believed that having a dog was the answer to some of my desires, such as having more meaning in my life and receiving love on demand from another life.
I bought into irrefutable sayings like, “Dogs love unconditionally,” and, “Dogs are man’s best friend,” and, “Dogs are loyal.”
As it turns out, the reality can be very different. And yes, those …
Learning to Let Go and Trusting That We Will Be Okay
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
While going through some major life changes, I am finally learning to let go. I am learning to relinquish control. And I am learning that everything will be okay in the end.
I am in the middle of my first pregnancy. I thought I could control my body. I thought I could control my outcome.
Something I regularly preach to anyone who will listen is that we can’t control the outcome of any situation. We can only control our actions.
That means …
Creating Lasting Happiness and Filling the Void Within
“Happiness is not a goal. It’s a by-product of a life well lived.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I don’t care what you do or what you become as long as you’re happy. Just be happy.
This has been my mother’s well-intentioned maxim throughout my life. As much as it is an example of her unconditional love, it is also a pretty massive request if you think about it, and something I could not seem to be. Ultimately, I failed because I wasn’t happy.
If she’d wanted me to be a brain surgeon, I could have given it a shot. I’d have known …
Surrendering to Things We Can’t Control or Change
“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko
I’ve always sped through life. I’ve always been ready to take on the next moment, that new place, make a new memory.
I’m an obsessive planner. I love control. Seriously, I love the feeling of researching and executing a plan flawlessly. It makes me feel like it’s all worth something, or it gives my life meaning. Nothing satisfies me more than being able to check that next “life goal” off the multiple checklists I create.
This idea of getting to the next place and achieving as …
The Path to Freedom: Stop Controlling and Defining Yourself
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~Albert Einstein
I had drawn a line so deep in the sand about who I was.
I was certain I was on my way to becoming a better version of me.
And then.
Water rushed in, softening that line, revealing that I was part of something much bigger than I saw myself to be.
Something much bigger than I could control myself into.
So many children grow up with circumstances far …
3 Ways to Let Go Of Control and Relax Into The Flow
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
Sometimes I try really hard to control things.
I run two businesses so, in many ways, control gives me a sense of peace of mind.
When my team is doing what they are supposed to be doing, I can relax. When business is booming, I can relax. When I am getting what I want, I can relax.
This control freak-ness doesn’t just apply for me in just business. I used to be this way about my body, and I notice these tendencies …
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