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Posts tagged with “mental health”

Anxiety Sucks, But It Taught Me These 7 Important Things

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“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” ~Soren Kierkegaard

Let’s be clear:

This isn’t an article about positive thinking.

This isn’t an article about how silver linings make everything okay.

This isn’t an article about how your perspective on anxiety is all wrong.

The kids call those things “toxic positivity.”

No toxic positivity here.

This is an article about my lifelong relationship with anxiety and what I’ve learned from something that won’t go away. At times the anxiety spikes and feels almost crippling. I have a hard time appreciating the learning at those times, but it’s still there.

That is what …

Growing Up Without a Family: From Survival Mode to Thriving

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“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ~C. S. Lewis

I started life in a poor household with one parent who left when I was very little, never to be seen or heard from again, and another who stuck around but made it very clear I wasn’t wanted and I had ruined their life by existing.

For some reason, I never had any contact from either of their parents, my grandparents, and very little to no contact from their wider families.

So, as a young child, I knew …

Gratitude: The Amazing Superpower Inside Us All

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“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~Marcus Aurelius

Gratitude.

It used to be a very triggering concept for me, and sometimes it still is.

It’s been a process to unravel what it means to me and to be okay with days where I am in active trauma or grief, when I feel there is nothing to be grateful for. It’s okay to be in those places.

Gratitude is but one of the plethora of tools I’ve used to shift my perspective on …

Boundaries Begin Within: A Simple Insight That Changed My Life

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“I used to tolerate a lot because I didn’t want to lose people. Now I set boundaries because I don’t want to lose myself.” ~Anonymous

I used to feel stretched and depleted in my own life, drained by obligations, and confused about why I felt overwhelmed even when everything looked ‘fine.’ At the time, I didn’t connect this exhaustion to boundaries at all. I simply knew the way I was living required a lot of me, even though I couldn’t yet name what this was really about.

For a long time, I didn’t have language for what was happening …

How I Found Focus and Presence When Meditation Didn’t Work

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“Meditation is a way of being, not a technique.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I didn’t think I was someone who “couldn’t meditate.”

I had read the books. I understood the benefits. I knew, intellectually, that sitting with my breath was supposed to help me feel calmer, more present, more myself.

And yet every time I tried, something inside me tightened.

My mind raced. My body felt exposed. Stillness didn’t feel peaceful—it felt like being left alone with something that didn’t know how to hold me.

So I stopped trying.

For a long time, I assumed this meant there was something wrong …

What I Ask Myself Now Instead of “What’s Wrong with Me?”

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“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.” ~Kristin Neff

For a long time, I carried a question with me that I rarely said out loud.

It wasn’t dramatic. It didn’t sound cruel. It felt reasonable—even responsible.

What’s wrong with me?

The question surfaced whenever I felt stuck. When motivation disappeared. When I couldn’t seem to do the things I thought I should be able to do with ease. It appeared quietly in moments of overwhelm, in the pause before self-judgment set in.

I asked it sincerely. I believed it was the …

Why Trying to Be Good Enough Kept Me Feeling Empty

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“The opposite of belonging is not isolation—it’s fitting in.” ~Brené Brown

One of my earliest memories comes from kindergarten.

My mom had bought me a new pair of navy-blue corduroy pants for an event at school. We didn’t get new clothes often, so this felt important. But what stayed with me wasn’t the pants themselves or the event—it was the way I felt wearing them.

I remember standing there, already tense, afraid that the other kids would think I looked stupid. Afraid they wouldn’t want to play with me. Afraid that being different, even in something small, would mean I …

The Simple Words That Reshaped How I See Myself

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“Only say good words to your child. Even if it looks like they’re not listening, if you repeat those kind words a hundred or a thousand times, they will eventually become the child’s own thoughts.” ~My grandmother

When I think about my childhood, the first word that comes to mind is “night.”

The nights were always the hardest.

My father struggled with alcohol and sometimes turned that pain into violence at home.

As a kid, I felt like danger could appear at any time after the sun went down.

I was afraid to sleep deeply. I kept the light on …

What Losing My Brother Taught Me About Addiction, Shame, and Love

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“Protest any labels that turn people into things. Words are important. If you want to care for something, you call it a ‘flower’; if you want to kill something, you call it a ‘weed.’” ~Don Coyhis

Losing my brother to a substance use disorder taught me things I never wanted to learn. Things nobody prepares you for. Things that will change you in ways you never thought possible.

It taught me that you can love someone so much it physically hurts—and still not be able to save them. It taught me that you can mourn someone you love long before …

How to Create Micro-Moments of Joy to Help You Keep Going

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“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I want to shine a light on something that often gets overlooked in both the medical world and the mental health space. Something I didn’t have a name for until I lived through it myself.

I call it joy deficiency.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve felt it too.

Maybe you’re living with Crohn’s, like I am.

Maybe you’ve faced chronic migraines, cancer, autoimmune symptoms, depression, fatigue, or simply the exhaustion of carrying emotional pain for far too long.…

How to Be Sad on Vacation

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“Healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” ~Pema Chodron

I recently went on vacation with my partner, Jett. I want to tell you it was kind of a disaster, but the truth is, it was just life. I had a lot of expectations placed on this trip (I have a lot of expectations, period), and I thought my issues wouldn’t follow me to Mexico.

We left the chores and the kids and the pets behind, but we still brought ourselves. We were both currently …

The Beauty in Brokenness: Why Your Scars Make You Worthy

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“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

On July 2, 2009, my life shattered with three words: “He is gone.”

I thought my friend meant my love was away on a camping trip, but no. She meant he was gone, as in forever.

My stomach knotted and my breath stopped. My body was reacting to the gravity of the truth before my mind could fully process it. The man I loved more than life itself never came back from his camping trip, and in many ways, neither did I.

My heart broke in a million …

Trauma, Darkness, and the Powerful Therapy That’s Helping Me Heal

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Trigger Warning: This piece contains references to childhood trauma, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Please take care of yourself as you read, and step away if you need to. If you are struggling, you are not alone — support is available through trusted loved ones, a therapist, or resources like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (in the U.S.).

Hello, darkness, my old friend.

I can’t push you away—because if I do, you only grow stronger. So I’m learning to let you be here. You settle in my chest like a hollow weight, speaking not in words but in pressure.

At …

Why the Breath Is More Powerful Than Willpower in Addiction Recovery

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“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” ~Amit Ray

I don’t remember the moment I decided I wanted to live again. I just remember the breath that made it possible.

Three weeks earlier, I had been lying in a hospital bed, my liver failing at the age of thirty-six after years of drinking. I knew I wouldn’t survive another relapse; yet the day I was released, I went straight to the liquor store. Unsurprisingly, I ended up back in rehab—completely exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I wasn’t looking for …

The Truth About Healing I Didn’t Learn in Med School

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“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

I’ve spent most of my adult life helping people heal.

I’m a podiatrist, a foot and ankle surgeon, and I’ve seen pain in many forms. Torn ligaments. Crushed bones. Wounds that just won’t close. But if I’m being honest, the deepest wounds I’ve encountered weren’t the ones I treated in my clinic. They were the invisible ones, the ones that patients carried silently, and the ones I had unknowingly been carrying myself.

I used to think healing was straightforward. Diagnose. Treat. Follow up. Recover.

That made sense to me. …

Grieving the Parents You Needed but Never Had

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“We can’t receive from others what they were never taught to give.” ~Unknown

When I was younger, I believed that love meant being understood. I thought my parents would be there for me, emotionally and mentally. But love, I’ve learned, isn’t always expressed in the ways we need, and not everyone has the tools to give what they never received.

As an adult, I’ve learned something both liberating and heartbreaking: Parents can only give what they have.

I used to get frustrated that my parents couldn’t really understand my mental health struggles. The realization didn’t hit me suddenly. It …

Learning to Be Seen After a Childhood Spent Disappearing

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“The habits you created to survive will no longer serve you when it’s time to thrive.” ~Eboni Davis

I learned early how to measure the danger in a room. With a narcissistic mother, the air could shift in an instant—her tone slicing through me, reminding me that my feelings had no place.

With an alcoholic stepfather, the threat was louder, heavier, and more unpredictable. I still remember the slam of bottles on the counter, the crack of his voice turning to fists, the way I would hold my breath in the dark, hoping the storm would pass without landing on …

The Unexpected Therapy I Found on My Phone

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“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” ~Dr. Seuss

The notification pops up on my phone: “Jason, we made a new memory reel for you.” I pause whatever I’m doing, probably something stressful involving deadlines or dishes, and feel that familiar flutter of excitement. What chapter of my life has Google decided to surprise me with today?

I tap the notification, and suddenly I’m watching years of Father’s Day adventures unfold. It started accidentally—one Father’s Day trip to the Buffalo Zoo that somehow became our tradition. Instead of buying me something I …

The Prowler in My Mind: Learning to Live with Depression

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“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” ~Leonard Cohen

When depression comes, I feel it like a prowler gliding through my body. My chest tightens, my head fills with dark whispers, and even the day feels like night. The prowler has no face, no clear shape, but its presence is heavy. Sometimes it circles in silence within me. Other times it presses in until I don’t know how to respond.

In those moments, I feel caught between two choices: do I lie still, hoping it passes by, or do I rise and face it? Often, …

Why Narcissistic Abuse Doesn’t Define You and How I Found the Love I Deserve

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“When it hurts to move on, just remember the pain you felt hanging on.” ~Unknown

There was a time when I thought my heart would never heal.

I’d been lied to, betrayed, and broken by a man I thought I loved. A man who turned out to be nothing more than a beautifully packaged nightmare.

If you’ve ever been hurt by a narcissist, you know that the pain cuts deeper than most people can imagine. You know the way it seeps into your bones, the way it makes you question your worth and replay every moment, wondering if you could …