Posts tagged with “self-care”
What I Learned When My Brain and Body Shut Down
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” ~Anne Lamott
I used to believe that success meant always being available. Always saying yes. Always responding immediately to emails, Slack pings, texts, whatever was thrown my way. Because if I stopped—even for a second—I might fall behind. And if I wasn’t working harder than everyone else, was I even working hard enough?
For years, that mindset worked. Or so I thought. Every win, every promotion, every new milestone felt like adding fuel to the fire. The more I ‘succeeded’ by society’s standards—the title, …
My Quiet Breakthrough: 3 Self-Care Lessons That Changed Everything
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” ~Eleanor Brownn
My breaking point came on a Monday morning at 6 a.m.
It had been the same routine for months: up at 5 a.m., brush my teeth, put on my workout clothes, move my body, weigh myself.
On this morning, the scale’s numbers glared back, stubborn as ever. My reflection in the mirror seemed foreign—tired eyes, face still sweaty, a body that felt like a lead weight. Outside, cars …
Tai Chi: A Strange and Powerful Dance of Freedom
“The key is to be in a state of permanent connectedness with your inner body—to feel it at all times. This will rapidly deepen and transform your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
“Relax your shoulders, keep your head high, stay grounded,” I cue myself as I walk through my morning Tai Chi. It’s still dark, but I know my moves, and my arms and legs move with confidence and ease.
Most of my life, I was a person with anxiety. I didn’t know I had anxiety, even though it was trying to speak to me as tension in …
5 Hidden Ways Codependency Is Sabotaging Your Relationships
“We rescue people from their responsibilities. We take care of people’s responsibilities for them. Later we get mad at them for what we’ve done. Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves. That is the pattern, the triangle.” ~ Melody Beattie
I first uncovered codependency and how it was ruining my relationships back in 2019 after ending my relationship of four years.
At the time, I didn’t know the first thing about myself—except that I didn’t know myself at all. I had no idea what I needed or desired. All I knew was that I hated being alone and longed …
What I Do Now Instead of Trying to Rescue People
“A leader leads by example whether he intends to or not.” ~Unknown
This past year has been a journey—one that cracked me open in ways I never expected.
It began with life-changing news: I was pregnant with my third child. In August, I welcomed my baby, and as I held that tiny, precious life in my arms, the weight of reality crashed over me. Something had to give. I could not keep moving at the same relentless pace, endlessly pouring myself into others, holding their pain as if it were my own, and giving until there was nothing left. …
The Most Important Pieces of My Cancer Coping Plan
“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.” ~Lao Tzu
When dealing with a serious health issue or life challenge, we can choose to navigate through it to the light or bury ourselves in its darkness. While it’s not always easy to find the light, it’s a much easier place to survive in and, in the long run, is much healthier. This way of being has helped me on my recent health journeys.
Twice in the past twenty-three years, I have received the news of a breast cancer diagnosis. Both incidences were …
An Unexpected Lesson on Boundaries and Putting Yourself First
I just dropped off a rider—her name is Mariel.
When I picked her up, she got into the car and said she was headed downtown. I casually mentioned that I live downtown, near the Walt Disney Concert Hall. She smiled, said, “That’s fire,” and then, just like that, she put on her headphones.
And I got angry. Yeah, I’m admitting it. That stupid, bubbling rage started to rise. Why? Because I’m insecure.
My mind started spinning: How could she put on her headphones like I don’t matter? Isn’t that rude? I caught myself thinking she should be giving me attention, …
For the First Time in a Long Time, She Says Yes to Herself
“You owe yourself one hour a day of self-maintenance. It can include reading, writing, yoga, exercise, dancing, meditation, painting, or whatever, but you owe it to yourself. One hour, 1/24 of your day. That is less than 5%. It matters, it really does. Make it count.” ~Sarah Brassard
The alarm rings at 5:45 a.m. She’s been awake for half an hour already, her mind running through everything she has to get done. Her son’s project is due today, her daughter has a well-visit appointment, and her inbox is bursting with urgent requests from work. She’s exhausted, but there’s no time …
How One Simple Change Transformed My Life
“It’s the small habits. How you spend your mornings. How you talk to yourself. What you read and what you watch. Who you share your energy with. Who has access to you. That will change your life.” ~Michael Tonge
It was a Tuesday morning like any other. The alarm clock mercilessly blared, abruptly ending my peaceful slumber. Groggy and disoriented, I dragged myself out of bed, my mind already racing with the countless tasks that awaited me.
I wearily stumbled down the stairs, desperately yearning for the comfort of my morning coffee. But as the aroma filled the air, I …
The Ultimate Guide to Better Boundaries
“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” ~Prentis Hemphill
I was talking with a friend about some aspect of a challenging relationship (I don’t even remember what it was now), and she lovingly informed me that I needed better boundaries. I nodded in understanding, but later I realized that I didn’t really know what that meant. Like, what do better boundaries actually look like? And how does one go about developing them?
It’s all fine and dandy to know that “No” is a complete sentence, but how does that apply to a …
Feeling Depleted? How to Overcome Your Internal Barriers to Resting
“Rest is not necessarily a cessation of all activity but a means of going inward, going deeper. Rest is what allows us to go beneath the surface, if we make the time for it. Rest gives us the gift of perspective, and rest invites us into new ways of being and showing up in the world.” ~Ashely Neese
I was probably about sixteen when my dad and I were driving down Main Street in our small town at about 1 or 2 o’clock in the afternoon.
As my dad looked out the passenger seat window, he noticed a man out …
Choosing Yourself: How to Prioritize Your Personal Well-Being
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” ~Oscar Wilde
“Choose me!” I heard the voice clearly as I sat across from my therapist one day in her office.
It was my fourth visit, and we were working through this feeling I had, like I was crying on the inside but nothing was coming out on the outside. I was explaining how this feeling had been recurring quite frequently lately and how my response was to ignore it and push through it.
In response to this, my therapist asked me, “What would happen if you attended to this …
How to Boost Your Self-Esteem: 6 Tips to Like Yourself More
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
I have, as I believe many of us do, grappled with the thorny issues of self-esteem for much of my life. But it was only when I became terribly unwell with an autoimmune disease six years ago that I began to see how much low self-esteem was affecting my day-to-day life and my health.
I started to see how focusing on external validation and bending and folding, putting the needs of others ahead of mine, like a reed being dragged back and forth by …
How to Make a Big Change by Embracing Love and Confronting Fear
“If you truly want to change your life, you must first be willing to change your mind.” ~Dan Altman
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts recently, and the guest speaker, Gary Zukav, was explaining that humans operate from two major emotions. Once you learn this and can differentiate how you’re truly feeling, life can feel easier and more peaceful. He said this:
Every emotion stems from only two: love and fear.
It took me a second to let the message sink in, but the more I thought about this statement, the more I realized how true it
The Simple Lifestyle Changes That Healed My Mind and Body
“If you don’t give your mind and body a break, you’ll break. Stop pushing yourself through pain and exhaustion and take care of your needs.” ~Lori Deschene
When I collapsed that evening while fishing, I was fortunate not to land head-first into the water.
It was April 2018, a few weeks before my fiftieth birthday, and after work, I decided to walk to the local pond and spend the remaining hours of light fishing.
After a short time, though, I started to feel hot, a little lightheaded, and dizzy, and then the lights went out. I only blacked out for …
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