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Posts tagged with “toxic”

Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships and Rediscovering Yourself

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“I am leaving you for me. Whether I am incomplete or you are incomplete is irrelevant. Relationships can only be built with two wholes. I am leaving you to continue to explore myself: the steep, winding paths in my soul, the red, pulsing chambers of my heart. I hope you will do the same. Thank you for all the light and laughter that we have shared. I wish you a profound encounter with yourself.” ~ Peter Schaller

A few months back I was someone you could easily walk all over. I was afraid to let go of friendships because I …

Forming Positive Relationships: Two Simple Strategies to Meet New People

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou

We all want to be around people who make us feel lighter and happy. We love seeing and interacting with people who brighten our days.

So, why is it that so many of us spend our days with people who don’t lift us up, people who don’t inspire us, and in some cases, people who tear us down?

It’s tough to remove these kinds of people from our lives, especially if we see …

Why Walking Away Is Sometimes the Most Compassionate Choice

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“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

In May 2012, I was appointed guardian and conservator of my father, and my brother was appointed co-guardian. Our father was declared mentally incompetent by the county court.

My father was, and is, an alcoholic. When I was growing up, he was an abusive alcoholic. He gave out wounds like gifts. He used words to cut us open, and then he threatened us with salt.

I lived in hypervigilance, and I learned that being alone, quiet, and invisible was the safest state …

Ending a Toxic Relationship: When It’s Time to Say “No More”

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“Worry less, smile more. Don’t regret, just learn and grow.” ~Unknown

The day finally came when my heart was strong enough to speak up.

I had spent many years trying to be the calm, sensible one. The one who would try to rationalize my sister’s behavior just to keep the peace.

For years the strategy was to keep everything in its place and accept what was said, done, or requested. The day finally came when the weight of accepting the burden was too much to bear.

No amount of talking would convince my sister that I was being reasonable. It …

4 Toxic Habits That Can Control Our Lives and Keep Us Unhappy

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“We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” ~Charles C. Noble

Until recently, I firmly believed that a classic set of toxic habits consisted of nail biting, smoking cigarettes, and abusing alcohol and drugs.

I completely forgot that there are some behavior patterns that can do equally bad damage to our vital and creative energy, claiming control over our lives and holding us back.

Ignorance is bliss, someone once said. I overstayed my welcome in that state of mind more than once. I thought my bad habits were actually making my life easier, and following the path to …

6 Helpful Things to Consider If You’re In an Unhealthy Friendship

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“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

For much of my life, I lived for approval and acceptance from family members, friends, and co-workers. I can’t recall not considering what people thought about my actions or what I had said, wondering if I could have done them better. I was always thinking of others and their feelings toward me.

It was a constant battle in my head, and it was starting to drain me of my peace.

No matter what they had done to me in the past, no matter how …

5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

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“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.” ~Billy Wilder

I’ve had my share of toxic relationships. Is it fair to say you have too? My guess is that we’ve all endured the company of people who weren’t rooting for our highest good.

As for me, the relationships that were the most debilitating and unhealthy gave me the feeling that I wasn’t taking care of myself spiritually, mentally, or physically.

I felt like less than myself, like I was compromising my life goals with each second I stayed around those people. Mind …

Dealing with Toxic Friendships: Accepting, Forgiving, and Moving On

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“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy

I used to have a friend who wasn’t good for me. She would put me down at every opportunity. If she saw me laughing and smiling, she would say something to bring me down. If she saw I was making progress, she would try to hold me back.

Sometimes I’d hear about things she’d said behind my back. Or discover that she had been poisoning other people’s opinions about me. Even worse, I would find that she would tell others …