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Posts tagged with “uncertainty”

I Stopped Asking “Why Me?” and Started Asking “What Now?”

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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl 

For a long time, my first response to difficulty was a single, aching question: “Why me?”

It surfaced whenever life took an unexpected turn—when plans collapsed, when effort didn’t materialize, when circumstances felt unfair and overwhelming. I believed that if I could understand why something was happening, I would somehow fix the situation and regain control. That the answer would soften the blow.

But it never did.

One experience, in particular, changed my relationship with that question.

I remember …

A Simple Practice That’s Keeping Me Out of Catastrophic Thinking

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“Hope is not a prediction. It is the choice to believe something good is possible before we have proof.”

For most of my life, I lived with an internal alarm system that never turned off. I expected disaster around every corner—financial collapse, professional failure, health crises, humiliation, and loss. Catastrophic thinking wasn’t just a habit; it felt like responsibility. It felt like vigilance. It felt like survival.

As a documentary filmmaker, anticipating the unexpected is part of the job. We learn to obsess over what could go wrong—equipment failures, weather shifts, emotional volatility, permissions falling apart, safety concerns, or a

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How I Found Peace When Everything Suddenly Felt Out of My Control

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“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

I was twenty-five weeks pregnant when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Still working, still showing up, still dreaming of a gentle homebirth.

We had an event at work that day, and I had to walk to it. I remember feeling so out of breath that I had to stop every few steps. Walking upstairs became impossible without pausing. Something wasn’t right.

I’d also noticed I was losing weight, especially in my face. My cheeks had sunken in. Not exactly the glowing pregnancy look I’d envisioned. More “heroin …

Finding Peace When You Don’t Know What Comes Next

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“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.” ~Eckhart Tolle

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the kind of person who plans everything.

My calendar was color-coded, my to-do lists perfectly alphabetized, and I could tell you what I’d be doing six months from now almost down to the hour.

I thought control meant safety. If I could organize my world tightly enough, maybe nothing bad would happen.

For a long time, that illusion worked. I graduated near the top of my class, got a good job, and built …

Could Curiosity Be the Best Medicine for Chronic Illness?

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“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford

We’ve all been there: happily ticking off life’s checkboxes, certain we’ve cracked the code, until—bam!—life decides otherwise. Divorce papers, layoffs, grief, or unexpected illness—life’s curveballs don’t discriminate.

For me, it was a sudden mystery illness at sixteen. What should have been a simple infection changed the trajectory of my entire life. Doctors were at a loss, tests offered no answers, and I was left navigating an uncertain reality, desperately clinging to control as my lifeline.

One day I’m cheering at the Friday night football …

How to Make Peace with Uncertainty—One Ritual at a Time

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“Rituals are the formulas by which harmony is restored.” ~Terry Tempest Williams

Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

One day, it’s a relationship you thought would last. Another, it’s a career path that suddenly dissolves. A health scare. A financial setback. Aging parents. A terrifying diagnosis. A global pandemic.

If you’re lucky, you haven’t experienced all these—yet. But let’s be honest: we are all living in the liminal.

The space between what was and what will be is where most of life actually happens. Yet we rarely talk about how to be there. We try to optimize or …

How to Develop True Self-Confidence Amid Life’s Uncertainty

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“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” ~Peter T. McIntyre

I used to think of confidence as something external, something that people exuded in their body language, in the way they spoke, or in the certainty of their decisions.

To me, a confident person had a poker face and a strong, grounded posture. I thought confidence was something you cultivated through endless practice—training yourself to speak with assertiveness and decisiveness, to project certainty even when you didn’t feel it inside.

But I’ve come to understand that true self-confidence is something that comes from …

What You Need to Know If Decisions Stress You Out

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“There are no right or wrong decisions, only choices.” ~Sanhita Baruah

When I was younger, everything felt simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple in the sense that there was always a next step. A clear direction. A right way to do things.

If I studied, I’d pass the test. If I practiced, I’d get better at my sport. If I followed the rules, I’d stay on track. Life moved forward in a straight line, like climbing the rungs of a ladder—one foot after the other, up and up and up.

I didn’t question this structure because it was all …

5 Lessons About Change I Learned from Moving to a New City

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“You may not be able to control every situation and its outcome, but you can control how you deal with it.” ~Unknown

I recently moved to Florida, a decision thirty years in the making.

Growing up in Haiti, I always longed to return to a warm climate. I remember being on our layover in Miami when we first moved to the States and thinking, “Why don’t we just stay here?” Moving to Boston at ten, the cold rain was a shock, and I’ve been dreaming of Florida ever since.

Here’s the thing about dreams—they take time, and life sometimes gets …

4 Powerful Ways to Master the Art of Living with Uncertainty

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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

Uncertainty has always been a fact of life, but I think we can all agree that its looming presence seems to be more potent than ever.

As if the uncertainties of personal matters—finding love, holding down a job, raising healthy kids—weren’t challenging enough, now we’re facing political, environmental, and technological uncertainties on a scale not previously known.

Polarizing figures are running for office and winning.

Heat domes and super blizzards are disrupting our quality of life.

Artificial …

Getting Unstuck After an Unexpected Life Change

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“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” ~Lewis Carroll

After an unfortunate layoff earlier this year, I found myself feeling stuck, spiritually, physically, and mentally. I had moved from Virginia to Los Angeles for my MBA, and I was working remotely as a product manager for a climate fintech company, which combined a lot of things I enjoyed.

In the two years I had spent out west, I built a great group of climbing buddies, felt a sense of community, and was involved with local non-profits. Los Angeles wasn’t a perfect match for

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Handling Lifequakes: How to Navigate the Storms of Change

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“How you revise, rethink, and rewrite your personal narrative as things change, lurch, or go wrong in your life matters a great deal.”  ~Bruce Feiler

It’s happened to all of us.

Just when life is going smoothly, a big, scary event comes along that threatens to ruin everything.

A frightening diagnosis, a relationship breakup, the death of a loved one, a job loss, or the COVID-19 pandemic.

Your life gets turned upside down when you least expect it.

I don’t know about you, but my life has been full of significant life changes over the last ten years: my …

Stop Catastrophizing: How to Retrain Your Brain to Stress and Worry Less

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“Don’t believe everything you think.” ~Unknown

A couple of years ago, I entered a depressive state as I sat through many long, eventless days while on partial disability due to a bilateral hand injury. I was working one to two hours a day max in my job, per doctor’s orders. The medical experts couldn’t say if or when I would feel better.

As I sat in pain on my sofa, day after day, running out of new TV series to occupy my time, I couldn’t help but catastrophize my future.

What’ll happen if I can’t use the computer again? My …

How I’m Accepting the Uncertain Future (with Less Worry and More Joy)

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“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” ~Ferris Bueller

For as long as I can remember, my life has consisted of change.

I grew up moving around the world. I went from Canada to Pakistan, Egypt to Jamaica, Ghana to Ukraine, and then finally China to Australia.

Moving to new countries and adapting to new cultures is like a cold plunge to your entire system and way of being. I felt I had no choice but to fit in as quickly as possible.

By the age of six …

How I Stopped Worrying About Running Out of Time to Achieve My Goals

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“The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That’s all there ever is.” ~Alan Watts

One thing that is promised to each one of us in life is death. No one will avoid dying or feeling the pain of losing others. From a young age I remember being aware of this fact, and it scared me.

As I got older, I began to feel a sense of pressure that I was running out of time and loss was imminent. The thought of losing my loved ones and …

My Dying Friend’s Woke Wake and Why We Need to Talk About Death

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“Death smiles at us all; all we can do is smile back.” ~Marcus Aurelius

Recently, on a beautiful blue-sky Saturday, I attended my first “woke wake.”

My dear friend has welcomed in the love and care of hospice, and she and her family wanted to host a celebration.

The meaning of “woke” signals an awareness of social action, with a focus on racism and bias in our culture. She also wanted to be “awoke” to the experience of her wake. More importantly, her party was an honest expression that she will die soon. Her acknowledgement was courageous.

We share so …

How Releasing Control Opened Me Up to a Limitless Life

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“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” ~Richard Bach

I have always wanted to create a family.

As a child, I lovingly cared for my dolls and fell head over heels for my college boyfriend. Kneeling before me with a ring, he said, “I want you to be the mother of our children.” I swooned as we walked down the aisle at the tender age of twenty-two, convinced I was set for life. I had the husband, and I would have the family.

I entered into our marriage with the expectation and security …

Why Codependents Don’t Trust Themselves to Make Decisions and How to Start

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“Slow, soulful living is all about coming back to your truth, the only guidance you’ll ever need. When you rush, you have the tendency to follow others. When you bring in mindfulness, you have the power to align with yourself.” ~Kris Franken

Codependency previously created a lot of pain and agony in my life. One of the ways it manifested was in my inability to trust myself. I would overthink decisions to death, fearful that I would choose the “wrong one” or upset someone if they didn’t agree or were disappointed by my choice.

I was terrified of “making a …

Searching for Purpose? 5 Ways to Embrace Not Knowing What You Want

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“Omnipotence is not knowing how everything is done; it’s just doing it.” ~Alan Watts

We sometimes hear of remarkable people who just knew what they wanted to become from a young age. I, however, was not one of them.

When I was about eight years old, I told my cousin that I wanted to become a scientist. Looking back, I find that pronouncement baffling since I wasn’t particularly interested in science at the time. What I did love doing, though, was making art.

My interest in art eventually led me to study graphic design. I thought that design would be …

The One Thing You Need to Make the Best Decisions for You

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“If you are not living your truth, you are living a lie.” ~Joseph Curiale

Her sobs break my heart. We have all been there. When the relationship starts feeling like a war-torn city as opposed to home.

I close in for a hug. “You can’t go on like this,” I whisper.

“Well, I don’t know what to do. Please don’t tell me to break up,” she looks up pleadingly. “I can’t do it. I won’t be able to bear it. I am not as strong as you.”

A familiar musical refrain from Tina Turner comes to mind albeit with …