Posts tagged with “wisdom”
How to Be Present and Peaceful When You Can’t Stop Thinking
“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” ~Eckhart Tolle
When I first started practicing Zen (or presence), I used to believe I could become completely thoughtless. Making my bed, no-thought. Washing my hands, no-thought. Walking around, no-thought. Imagine the spiritual experience!
But it wasn’t like what I thought it would be.
The reality is my mind was on full throttle all the time. No matter what I did, there would be a billion thoughts popping out from my head, preventing me from having even a moment of peace. Then I would yell at myself, …
Life is Fragile: Love Like Today Could Be Your Last
“I would argue that nothing gives life more purpose than the realization that every moment of consciousness is a precious and fragile gift.” ~Steven Pinker
He was splayed out in the middle of the road. The paramedics had yet to arrive. That was the scene on our way to meet some friends.
Over dinner, they relayed the tragic story of their neighbor’s twenty-something son who was killed recently in a motorcycle accident.
Two others lost their lives in an instant on a nearby suburban road.
An acquaintance told me about the fatal hiking accident of a young man who was …
How to Stop Rescuing Other People to Feel Good About Yourself
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Jack Kornfield
It seemed like the natural thing to do.
A middle-aged man had dropped his keys near me. I jumped up, hopped over, picked the keys up, and gave them back to him.
Not so unusual, except I had a badly twisted ankle after slipping on a walking holiday and needed to rest it while the pain and swelling went down. I struggled back to my seat, wincing.
It was a small incident but symbolic of my rescuing, codependent, instinctive habits at the time. If something needed doing, I …
How I Stopped Resisting Change and Embraced the Road Ahead of Me
“Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she became a butterfly.” ~Unknown
Change is constant, from small changes like trying a new hobby to big changes like making a drastic career move. Even though change is all around us, it can feel scary. While change could lead you to something great, there are a lot of unknowns with something new, and that can cause anxiety.
When I was younger, I used to embrace change. For example, each school year was a new and exciting experience.
But somewhere along the way, I started to resist change.
What Does Resisting
…
What Creates Anxiety and How We Can Heal and Ease Our Pain
“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need, rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.” ~Ashleigh Warner
Do you ever wonder what creates anxiety and why so many people are anxious?
Anxiety doesn’t just come from a thought we’re thinking, it comes from inside our body—from our internal patterning, where unresolved trauma, deep shame, and painful experiences are still “running.”
It often comes from false underlying beliefs that say, “Something’s wrong with me, I’m flawed, I’m bad, …
Afraid to Say No Because You Might Miss Out on a Big Opportunity?
“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown
Are you afraid of saying no in your professional life because you think you’ll miss out on a big opportunity? I’ve learned that a quick yes can sink a lot of ships. God only knows I’ve taken on too much at times because I feared I’d miss out on something life changing.
We view opportunities as golden nuggets that are few and far between, so we snatch them up before someone else does, even if they don’t really excite us. But many …
What’s Really Important: 3 Things I Realized When I Lost My Grandmother
“We forget what we want to remember and remember what we want to forget.” ~The Road
“Okay grandma, we’re going to run away!” I wheeled my grandma Jeanne in her wheelchair into the sunlight, through the courtyard, after we exited her nursing home. She knew though that she couldn’t leave, but she went along with the game. She knew she was stuck there. But we had fun with it, nonetheless.
I really did want to run away with her. I’d had a dream the night before that she told me, “I’m at the end of my life. You will be …
If You’ve Been Abused and You’ve Lost Your Joy and Sense of Self
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can choose not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou
I know what you’re feeling because I’ve been there. You’re sitting quietly with your pain asking yourself if the abuse really happened or if you just fabricated it in your mind like they said you did.
You’re wondering if you’re too sensitive. If you really did hurt them as much as they claim you did. There’s a small part of you that wonders if you actually deserved to be treated poorly because of what you said or …
Why Strong Chemistry Doesn’t Always Lead to a Strong Relationship
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ~C.G. Jung
Everyone says it. They say chemistry is a must. I know I say it. But why do we say this? What exactly is chemistry, and is it really the best indicator of a good partner?
The man I had the most chemistry with (we’ll call him Tim) treated me like an option and was never particularly concerned with my needs, desires, or feelings.
I remember the day I met him, and he opened the door and flashed …
Toxic Help: 3 Signs Your Support Is Doing More Harm Than Good
“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes
As someone who people often come to seeking help or advice, I recently encountered a new situation for me: one in which I chose to stop helping someone and walk away entirely because I determined it wasn’t good—for the other person or myself.
It felt like the wrong thing to do, but once I had some distance, I knew I had made the right decision. Throughout the helping, I soldiered on and helped and helped and helped until it no longer felt good, …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 