Posts tagged with “wisdom”
It’s More Important to Be Authentic Than Impressive
“The most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage to look at ourselves honestly and gently.” ~Pema Chödrön
All my life I’ve chased after success, as I was encouraged to do from a very young age.
When I was six, my father got me my first proper study desk as a gift for getting into a ‘good’ school. The type of desk that towered over a little six-year-old—complete with bookshelves and an in-built fluorescent light. In the middle of the shelf frame stuck a white sticky label inscribed with my …
What Happens When We Assume the Worst of People We Love
“Before you assume, learn. Before you judge, understand. Before you hurt, feel. Before you say, think.” ~Unknown
There we were on a Saturday afternoon doing such benign things as running errands at Costco, Trader Joes, and the post office. Excitement galore.
Yet, it would be a day I came to a major realization, understanding something I already knew in theory but wasn’t putting into practice.
Here’s the realization: Mind reading in relationships leads to confusion, resentment, frustration, and name-calling.
I’m not talking about psychic mind reading either! I’m referring to the kind of mind reading that you likely do every …
I Hear You: A Must-Read Book for Stronger, Happier Relationships
Have you ever felt like someone was listening to you but not really hearing you—or worse, not even fully listening?
Maybe they were more looking through you than at you, just kind of zoning out, all the while nodding, as if taking in what you were saying, but not. Or even worse still, maybe they weren’t giving you any signs of engagement, but rather alternating between glances up at you and glimpses down at their phone.
It’s rare these days to get someone’s full attention, and even more difficult to end a conversation feeling truly heard and understood—as if the …
Being Shy Made Me Strong, and It Can Do the Same for You
“Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak.” ~Unknown
This quote seems counterintuitive, right?
For many years, I, too, scoffed at the idea.
Having dealt with crippling shyness throughout my life, I know firsthand what it’s like to feel weak, powerless, and trapped because of it.
As a child, I remember clinging to my mom’s leg and using her body to hide from strangers. Then, as I got older, this shy behavior manifested into a fear of speaking my mind, interacting with others, putting myself out there, and so on and so forth.
My quiet and timid nature …
I Thought It Was Love, But It Was Actually Abuse
“Alone doesn’t always mean lonely. Relationship doesn’t always mean happy. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as being in the wrong relationship.” ~Unknown
I don’t know if it’s the conditioning of Disney movies that makes every young girl dream of finding her Prince Charming, but that was my experience. My prince entered my life just like that, saving me from my boredom and taking me on a roller coaster of excitement. He assured me that our love was going to last forever, and the naivety of being sixteen made me believe him.
It didn’t take long for his …
Never Forget That You Have the Power to Choose
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Dedicate today to the power of choice. Your choice. You can’t choose everything that you experience in life, but what you can choose is mightier than any circumstance, outcome, or other person’s opinion.
Where you focus your mind, how you use your words, and how you treat yourself and others are all up to you. One chapter at a time, you write your own story.
We all have the power to choose what …
How to Free Yourself from Your Spiritual Drama
“You have no friends. You have no enemies. You only have teachers.” ~Ancient Proverb
My very wise aunt, a talented psychotherapist and one of my spiritual teachers, has told me many times that the people, places, and things that trigger us are just “props in our spiritual drama.”
This phrase has stuck with me for years because it’s catchy and it rings so true to me. If we are struggling, it’s not a matter of the external force, it’s about what it provokes in us.
We don’t heal by trying to change others. We heal through breaking cycles; through knowing …
The Power of Saying No (Even to People You Love)
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho
“Yes, of course.”
“Yes, that’s no trouble at all.”
“Yes, I can do that.”
“Yes, I’d love to help.”
Yes, yes, yes. “Yes” seemed to be the key word in my relationships with partners, family, friends, and colleagues.
I wanted to be helpful, kind, and thoughtful; I wanted to be there when people needed me. I didn’t want to let them down or disappoint or displease them. I spent a lot of my time devoted to my self-image as a capable, nice …
The Number on the Scale Does Not Dictate Your Value
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
We try to give our bodies value with numbers. We’re obsessed with the number on the scale and the circumference of our waist.
We also think our value lies in labels. Words like “obese,” “fat,” and “overweight” are triggers for many, and we abhor them like coffee breath, because we’ve been immersed in pocrescophobia (the fear of getting fat) from before we can remember.
But we are more than a category on a pie chart. We are …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 