Posts tagged with “wisdom”
5 Practices That Helped Me Stop Being a People-Pleaser
“If you spend your life pleasing others, you spend your life.” ~Cheryl Richardson
Looking back on my life, I came to realize that I spent quite a high amount of my precious time trying. Trying to be perfect. Trying to be appreciated and liked by everyone else around me. Trying to fit in with different groups of people so that I could feel accepted and approved of.
I can recall many situations in my life when I did things I didn’t really want to do to comfort or please others. I was a master of people-pleasing and, to be honest, …
Why I Chose Authenticity Over Fitting In or Standing Out
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” ~EE Cummings
For many years I felt like a fish out of water, but I desperately wanted to belong in the pond. I grew up wanting to be ‘normal,’ to fit in and be like everyone else. As a result, I was not in touch with who I was because I didn’t think there was another choice.
The blueprint was clear: find a …
How to Stop Losing Yourself and Giving Your Power Away in Dating
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” ~Brené Brown
I was a serial dater for a decade.
Dating can be fun and exciting, but it can also come with lots of disappointment and emotional pain.
All those rejections, ghosting, and shattered hopes had a huge impact on me.
They left me feeling exhausted and heartbroken. Probably because I dated too much but also because I didn’t do much to protect myself and my energy on these dating adventures.
I’d say yes to many men who were …
Speaking Your Truth Even When It Feels Painful and Shameful
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” ~Brené Brown
I was sexually assaulted during my senior year of college. Shortly after, I received a hefty check in the mail from the guy who did it as a “graduation gift.” I spent many nights tossing and turning, debating whether I should cash the check or burn it along with his pathetic graduation card wishing me “all the best” in my future.
I ended up cashing the check and pretending it didn’t happen.
This was four years ago, and I still …
What My Dog Taught Me About Self-Acceptance
“Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ~Lao Tzu
We all have recorded messages playing in our heads, from long ago.
Listen to parents talking to young children. Often the message is less than approving.
“Don’t put that in your mouth!”
“Go wash your face right now.”
“If you keep acting like that nobody will like you.”
“Look at Cindy, how well she’s doing. If you worked harder you could do as well as her.”
Those examples are kind compared to what many people will have heard growing up.
Many of these messages enter our brains …
The Top 7 Reasons We Stay in Bad Relationships
“Some of us think that holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” ~Hermann Hesse
She knew it sooner than I did. And more intensely than I did.
I, on the other hand, may have considered our differences but never thought of them as deal-breakers. I tried to justify the many struggles we had between us and believed that our marriage could work despite the challenges.
I had this feeling things would get better and stayed hopeful no matter how bad our relationship got.
I told myself that her extraverted personality and my more introversion could …
Life Lessons from a Wanderer: From Lost Boy, to Carnie, to U.S. Marine
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ~Rumi
How did this happen?
I remember the wind tearing at the walls of my tent, bending the humble, graphite rods almost double. I was burrowed down in my sleeping bag, which was one of my sole possessions in life, along with that tent, a pack of books, some canned food, $200, and clothes.
I dug even lower and thought—what the hell am I going to do?
It was sometime in October of 1994. I was camped by a dry …
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