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Posts tagged with “wisdom”

How Accepting the “Bad” Can Lead to Joy and Growth

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“The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.” ~Thich Nhat Hạnh

Since I was little, I’ve been taught to avoid what’s “bad” and move toward what’s “good.”

Growing up, my mom would work day and night not only to support me and my little brother with the basic necessities, but to give us a “good” life.

She loved us, so naturally she wanted to support us and to give us happiness, and …

4 Ways Introverts Can Super-Charge Their Happiness

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“Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.” ~Susan Cain

Do you get ticked off too?

I mean, when people say you’re awkward, naive, and anti-social.

Your feelings get bruised, and then you find yourself drowning in a sea of unhappiness.

All you want is to be normal. To be accepted and to fit in. The more social you try to be, the more uhappy you get.

You’ve worn all the right masks to be normal, but it seems all your efforts aren’t good enough.

Well, I know that feeling all too well, unfortunately.

How Trying

…

Think Less, Feel More

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4 Things to Remember When Life Feels Hopeless

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“However long the night, the dawn will break.” ~African Proverb

Were there times in your life where it felt anything that could go wrong went wrong? That was me five years ago.

In a span of nine months, my marriage to a partner of eight years broke down, I lost four family members to unexpected deaths, and I suddenly found myself hurtled from living the dream life to being jobless, penniless, and homeless.

To say life knocked the wind out of me would be an understatement.

Each time I picked myself up, another blow would send me sprawling toward a …

Why Embracing Painful Feelings is the Key to Happiness and Freedom

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“In our struggle for freedom, truth is the only weapon we possess.” ~Dalai Lama

I often ask myself what led me to that place of feeling like I didn’t deserve to love myself.

When I look back to my youth I remember feeling hopeless. My mom, my hero, was sick a lot, and I could tell she wasn’t happy. And my dad didn’t always know how to act around a sensitive little girl.

There was a “funny” story told at family gatherings about how after seeing the movie Mary Poppins, I would sit for hours in my little red …

How to Kickstart a Healthy Habit When You’ve Gotten Off Track

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“Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” ~Rumi

Our spiritual, meditative, or other self-care practices can easily be interrupted, back burnered, or seemingly lost when one of life’s whammies happen.

Sickness has thrown me off track more times than I care to count. Coming down with something again, swirling in negativity because once again my body had failed me, my immune system weak, I could not perform in the world the …

Overcoming Sugar Addiction: A Guide to Breaking the Sweets Cycle

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“It’s not until your eyes adjust to the dark that you can finally grasp—and if you let it—be astonished, by the light of your own being.” ~Andréa Balt

Sugar was my best friend, my confidant, and my (not so secret) love. She provided me comfort and companionship. I went to her when I was happy, sad, anxious, excited, celebratory, scared, and broken-hearted. Social gatherings were centered around my infatuation with her.

I loved the taste, the experience, the social aspect. I loved the visual experience, the artistry, the display case of the perfectly frosted cupcakes and dusting …

We Are Victors, Not Victims

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of assault and may be triggering to some people. 

“You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.” ~Steve Maraboli

I was about twenty years old. It was a beautiful summer day, and I decided to walk to my parents’ house.

I usually called them …

Moving Beyond Passive-Aggression: Stop Repressing Your Feelings

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“Don’t let the fear of what people might think stop you from speaking your mind. Speak up, you deserve to be heard.” ~Unknown

I used to suffer from immense communication problems that manifested as passive-aggression. I had no idea how to get what I needed, and I often failed to express my desires.

My maladaptive response was to remain positive at all times, while burying my feelings and casting them into the back of my mind. It wasn’t the greatest time in my life, but it served as a valuable lesson more than a decade later, when I cleared …

Adventures for Your Soul Book Giveaway: Live the Life of Your Dreams

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UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway are:

  • Sarah Jane Vallente
  • Chandra Milliron

“Just like the characters of a movie, you are a character in the show called ‘Life.’ Are you in a starring role? Or are you a supporting actor?” ~Shannon Kaiser

Do you ever feel like could be doing more with your life? Like you’re holding yourself back in fear and not reaching your true potential? Maybe you don’t even know what you want; you just know what you don’t want, and yet you can’t seem to escape it.

I’ve been there quite a few times myself, and I’ve …

It’s Going to Be Okay

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How to Make New Friends When You’re Feeling Lonely

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“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s a weird paradox.

In a world where technology and social media seem to bring more of us together more of the time, recent research indicates that more of us are feeling lonely more of the time too.

People sometimes deflect their feelings of social nakedness by making a joke of it.

“Look at me: Norma No Mates!” they say when admitting again to having no plans for the weekend.

But it’s no laughing matter.

And I get it. I really do. I’ve been Norma No …

Happy Are Those Who…

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Accepting Delays and Appreciating the Gift of Empty Time

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“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.” ~Eckhart Tolle

A few weeks ago I had a soccer game about a half-hour away from my house, in the middle of nowhere.

Grumbling about the heat and the length of the game, I walked down to the field where my team was seated under a tent. In truth, I love playing soccer, but for some reason I was annoyed at how big a chunk of my day it took.…

How to Make the Most of the Time You Have

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“Without giving up hope—that there’s somewhere better to be, that there’s someone better to be—we will never relax with where we are or who we are.” ~Pema Chödrön

There are twenty-four hours in a day. This is true for you, me, Obama, and Oprah. Yet, I often feel like there are things that I would love to do… if I only had enough time.

I used to spend my days in a frenzy.

At my worst, I woke up at around 4:45 to meditate for an hour, then go to the gym, rush off to my twelve-hour law job worried …

We Don’t Need to “Fix” Our Appearance to Be Beautiful

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“Kindness and awareness work together. Through awareness we understand the underlying beauty of everything and every being.” ~Amit Ray

We were in Yorkshire—my brother, sister, and I—driving along narrow, windy roads. Sometimes we would come up a steep incline and be unable to see the rest of the road until we got to the crest. It was a little bit scary.

It could have been worse, but that night it was a full moon and even though it was almost midnight, there was a great deal of light in the darkness. We were not normally out that late but had …

The 3-Day Happiness Adventure: A Simple Guide to Getting Happy Fast

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“You have a choice each and every single day. I choose to feel blessed. I choose to feel grateful. I choose to be excited. I choose to be thankful. I choose to be happy.” ~Amber Housley

What if I told you that you could dramatically and permanently increase your happiness within three days?

And what if I told you that it was much easier than you think, based on a simple and logical approach, completely free, and you already have everything you need to succeed? Would you be interested? I assume you would be, but you might be skeptical.

First, …

Drop the Mask: How to Slowly Lower Your Guard and Change Your Life

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“The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.” ~Deepak Chopra

The root of my inability to be open stems from my childhood. (I guess much of who we are comes from childhood, right?)

I remember around the time I was eight years old going to a party at my aunt’s house. Even though I don’t remember the details of the party, I do remember what happened after.

We got home that night and my dad asked me, ”Don’t you think you should be a little more reserved or have a little mystery to you?”

I …

Create a Team to Battle Fears and Loneliness

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“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu

Five years ago, I found myself rebuilding my life after my fourteen-year marriage ended. During those first months preceding my divorce, crushing feelings of fear and loneliness often consumed me. Thankfully, I began seeing a wonderful therapist named Muriel.

Each week, I held my breath until it was time for my appointment, when I could curl up on Muriel’s sofa and exhale all my anxieties.

One week, when I was particularly overwhelmed, Muriel gave me the number of the local Crisis Hotline and insisted that …

A Simple Practice to Prevent Binge Eating and Boost Your Happiness

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“Be nice to yourself. It’s hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time.” ~Christine Arylo

When the alarm went off, the haze of a dream dissolved into the memory of yesterday’s failure. My stomach was still full from last night’s binge, and I was utterly disgusted with myself.

How could I have blown it again? What was wrong with me?

I grabbed a notepad and pen and resolved that today would be different. Today I would stick to my diet!

As I had every day for the previous several weeks, I made a list of …