Posts tagged with “wisdom”
Finding Beauty After Tragedy: Bad Things Can Lead to Good
“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.” ~Oscar Wilde
Have you ever had one of those moments when something devastating happens in your world and it feels like the rug has been ripped out from under you? I know I certainly did last year.
I thought my life was moving along wonderfully. I had a well-paying job and was slowly growing my dream business on the side. I was happily married and the mother of an adorably cheeky toddler.
I was only weeks away from moving into our new family home, which had taken us years of …
7 Courageous Steps to Reconciling a Struggling Relationship
“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” ~Ronald Reagan
I have always had a tumultuous relationship with my mother. One filled with conflict, anger, and struggle.
After years of non-communication, miscommunication, arguments, and fights, I realized it was time to reconcile what was left to whatever degree we were both capable.
I had to let go of the past and get honest with myself—because whatever I was doing on my end was not only hurting our relationship, but also killing me from the inside out.
I was crying out for resolution …
10 Ways To Declutter Your Mind For Clarity, Focus, Peace, and Balance
“Life is as simple or complicated as we make it.” Donna Smallin
The dreaded “C” word. Clutter.
We all deal with it. In some part of our world, we face it: be it in our closets, in our offices, or even in our bodies. But the most distracting and debilitating cluttered space is in our heads.
You know the feeling. Driving on autopilot to work. Forgetting important dates. Leaving the water running or the stove on. Stumbling over words, unable to make a point.
When we’re caught up in our heads, distracted by worry or fear, we’re not present …
How to Stop Weighing Yourself Down with Emotional Junk Food
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” ~Rumi
I want to feel better. Who doesn’t? Yoga makes me feel better most of the time, but if I am being totally honest, I don’t always choose the healthy option. In fact, sometimes I pick the worst thing for me.
For me, a plate of BBQ wings really hits the spot. That is, until a few hours later when the salt and protein load kicks in and I feel terrible. Again.
While I may oscillate between healthy and unhealthy choices for my body, I know how to …
We Can Be Positive Without Repressing Our Emotions
“I’m stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness.” ~Unknown
One day at my part-time job, my supervisor told me that my boss wanted to talk to me. This was completely unexpected, so I was a bit concerned. Everything had been going so incredibly smoothly in my life for the past week or two, and all I wanted was to keep that oh-so-wonderful peacefulness going.
But when I came into her office, I knew in my entire being that something was off. My stomach clinched up and I …
When Your Struggle Has Become Your Identity: How to Rediscover Yourself
“It ain’t what they call you. It’s what you answer to.” ~W.C. Fields
For much of my life, I have struggled against the after effects of unresolved childhood trauma.
For years, I didn’t even know how much of an issue it was. I thought it was completely normal to expect the worst or avoid intimacy like the plague.
When I finally dragged myself into a therapist’s office and was diagnosed with “significant, complex trauma,” I initially felt free.
And I admit, it was freeing. I now knew that this “thing” that I had been dealing with my entire life wasn’t …
How To Move Forward When You Feel Paralyzed by Uncertainty
“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle
A woman in a relationship that is breaking her spirit might remain there for fear of what leaving will bring.
She doesn’t know if she will find another to care for her, and having a warm body is better than having no one. The uncertainty about whether or not she will survive that decision, and be happier for it, keeps her there.
I know the harsh clutches of uncertainty all too well. It wasn’t long ago that I waffled and wavered about every decision I …
What to Do When You Know What You Want but Feel Stuck
“What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.” ~Dalai Lama
Five years ago I had a brilliant idea. Since I was pretty good with social media, I decided to start my own business helping companies develop their online presence.
My goal was to work for myself, and the plan was that I’d quit my job, travel the world, create my own schedule, and earn a living doing something I’d seen others have a great deal of success doing.
After spending weeks brainstorming I came up with the perfect name for my company. I wrote my mission statement, …
Why We Should Stop Trying
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.” ~Edith Wharton
Several years ago a well-known Zen Master accepted me as a long distance student. In one of our first email exchanges I wrote, “Dear Teacher, I am trying to sit every day for thirty minutes and in my practice I am trying to follow my breath.”
“Please,” he wrote back, “stop trying. You are your breath.”
I remember reading his words and feeling perplexed, confused, almost annoyed. What in the world did he mean? Wasn’t it obvious that we had no choice but …
6 Tips to Love and Support Yourself and Become a Happier You
“Awaken; return to yourself” ~Marcus Aurelius
Darkness. Resentment. Detachment. Extreme discomfort.
Those are the words I would use to describe my internal experience during my adolescent years up to young adulthood.
Depression was something I was all too familiar with. Fear was running my life and I was exhausted. I now understand that a lot of it had to do with the dysfunctional family I grew up in and the pain that ensued.
Determined to break this unhealthy way of being, I’ve been on a road of healing and self-growth over the past few years.
However, my transition into a …
You’re Going to Be Okay
“The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” ~Buddha
“I will be okay,” I repeated to myself. “Deep breaths. You’re okay. Focus on the breath. I am going to be okay…”
I was on a small plane flying over the Rocky Mountains of Colorado on a hot summer afternoon—a notoriously turbulent time to fly.
I’m not afraid of flying. I do it a lot and it’s not something that makes me nervous, although the mantra could work perfectly well if I was. It does, for some reason, make me incredibly motion sick at times—scanning seatback pockets for white bags, …
How to Boost Your Self-Esteem When You’re Insecure
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
When it comes to self-esteem, I’ve had a bumpy ride. Throughout my school life I was severely bullied and, consequently, I grew up intensely insecure and self-critical.
I constantly measured my self-worth against the opinions of others, and when opinions weren’t forthcoming, I simply filled in the blanks by imagining the worst.
By my twenties I measured my self-worth in terms of my popularity, how successful I was compared to my friends, my appearance, and my love …
10 Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Be Happy
“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” ~Dale Carnegie
There was a time when I didn’t think I could ever be happy.
I felt alone. I felt confused. And I felt overwhelmed.
Luckily, that all began to change when I started looking inside. I discovered how I was the cause of my unhappiness.
And I discovered what stood between me and enjoying life.
Here are ten of the things I discovered:
1. Neglecting
…
5 Things to Remember When You Start Worrying
“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” ~Benjamin Franklin
Have you every worried yourself to the point of emotional, even physical exhaustion?
Do you often feel stuck, anxious, or mistrustful of the world around you?
I know what it’s like to feel trapped by worry—in fact, I have always been a chronic worrier.
I worried and obsessed mostly about the hypothetical, the imaginary, the infinite variety of “what-if” scenarios. Eventually, I convinced myself that if I worried about every conceivable thing that could go wrong in my life, I would either …
Overcoming Approval Addiction: Stop Worrying About What People Think
“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer
Do you ever worry about what people think about you?
Have you ever felt rejected and gotten defensive if someone criticized something you did?
Are there times where you hold back on doing something you know would benefit yourself and even others because you’re scared about how some people may react?
If so, consider yourself normal. The desire for connection and to fit in is one of the six basic human needs, according to the research of Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes. Psychologically, to be rejected …
We Can Find Reasons to Be Happy and Grateful Every Day
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” ~Charlie Chaplin
Many people have told me throughout my life that I sound just like my mother when I laugh. I lost her to cancer when I was sixteen, over twenty years ago. I learned from her to laugh and laugh often, even through the toughest of times. “Happiness is a choice,” she always said.
Life has thrown a few curveballs my way over the past five years and tried to test my ability to choose happiness and laughter. My husband, Eric, and I had just started talking about having children when …
How To Design A Happier, More Fulfilling Life
“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it’s something you design for the present.” ~Jim Rohn
A few weeks ago I found myself having a bad day. The frustrating thing was that on the outside everything was okay, nothing had explicitly gone wrong, but inside everything was a mess. It was one of those days where you’re in a constant battle with yourself.
At the beginning of the year I saved up enough to be able to quit my job and focus on building my own online/writing career. But on this particular day I felt nothing but …
5 Vital Lessons for People Who Feel Like They’re Not Good Enough
“What if I fall? Oh, my darling, what if you fly?” ~Erin Hanson
Like most people, my life has had its share of ups and downs.
My household growing up could be best described as a roller coaster. There were times of excitement and happiness, then there was the plummeting into darkness, shame, and self-loathing.
Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I felt that I was a mistake, unloved, and unwanted by my father. His mood swings and verbal abuse would come raging like a storm without any warning, and without any end in sight.
He often told me that I …
Changing Your Life Story and Finding Your Happy Ending
“Maybe it’s not about the happy ending. Maybe it’s about the story.” ~Unknown
For the longest ever time, I had no idea what my own story was.
Desperately uncomfortable in my skin as a child, I was equal parts pathologically shy with strangers and fearless with my sisters and brother, running wild over the boulder-strewn southern California land during summers.
As a young girl, I was also, more than once, the target for predators and perps.
The nameless elementary school janitor who invited me into his dark and dirty closet one day. The terrifying neighbor who stopped me in a …
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