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Posts by Maria Stenvinkel

Maria Stenvinkel is on a mission to help you move from fear to fearless—and to unleash your confidence, greater potential, and true self-love. Download her free and powerful worksheet: "The Secret to Boosting Your Self-Confidence [Easy Worksheet]."

19 Things to Start Doing for Yourself in the New Year

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“And suddenly you know… it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of new beginnings.” ~Meister Eckhart

Did you know that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail?

That’s pretty crazy. Maybe you’re part of that statistic. Feeling eager, excited, and ready for change only to fall back into old patterns after a few weeks.

This was me, year after year—striving for change but not managing to pull it through, but not last year.

A few days ago I found a letter I had written to myself on New Year’s Eve in 2016, describing how I wanted 2017 to …

Avoid Feeling Bad: How to Stop Taking Things Personally

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“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes when you take nothing personally.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

Oh man, if I had a dollar for every time I took something personally…

I’d be rich by now.

When I quit my corporate job in Paris and took a year off traveling people would often ask me, “So, what’s your plan now?” A normal question to ask, I know. But back then, I usually got offended by that question and other follow-up ones. It made me think that others were judging my decision and questioning my ability to change career …

8 Ways to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think of You

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“You can’t force anyone to value, respect, understand, or support you, but you can choose to spend your time around people who do.” ~Lori Deschene

It can be paralyzing.

The worry about what other people think about you, I mean. That worry can hinder you from pursuing your dreams. It can stop you from expressing your true nature and stand in the way of the life you so badly want to create.

This worry can easily get your mind wandering to dark places and trigger feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and self-doubt. When it has a grip on you, you …

What to Do When You Can’t Seem to Love Yourself

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“You’ll be amazed at what you attract when you start believing in what you deserve.” ~Unknown

“You just need to love yourself more.”

I’ve heard that advice so many times when I’ve felt rejected, inadequate, and not enough. And instead of that advice helping me, it has just made me feel even more rejected, inadequate, and not enough.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t angry at the person giving me the advice—I was angry with myself for not being able to love myself unconditionally.

It’s easier to feel love for yourself when things are going well. When …

14 Daily Happiness Habits to Adopt Right Now

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“The biggest lie we’re told is ‘Be with someone who makes you happy.’ The truth is, happiness is something you create on your own. Be with someone who adds to it.” ~Unknown

That’s what we all strive for, right?

Happiness, I mean.

I used to think that happiness was about my external world. If things were going well for me (in my career, social life, relationships, etc.), then I was happy. If things weren’t going well, which things often weren’t in one area or another, I felt frustrated, angry, or defeated.

Later, I realized that long-term happiness isn’t about …

Be Good to Yourself: 10 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love

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“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

It was one of those nights.

I was in a busy New York bar, having fun and enjoying myself. That was, until someone asked me: “So, what do you do?”

Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.

The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing! I had just left my corporate job and now I was on a journey to …

7 Things You Need to Know to Live Your Best Life and Make a Better World

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You know those “moments of truths”?

When what you hear, or come to realize, turns your world around. When one or several things turn out to be exactly what you needed to hear at the exact right time. Ba-boom.

For the past couple of years, I’ve had several ah-ha moments that have made my life better. Here are seven of those realizations. Some were harsh to come to terms with (like #1), while others brought me the greatest relief and hallelujah moment (like #7).

Read them, ponder them, and let them move in with you. See if they can alter …

10 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me When I Was 18

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“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~Maya Angelou

Can you remember what it was like?

Becoming an adult. Having to take responsibility for your life. Having the world opening up to you. Having to suddenly start making decisions and setting a clear direction for your life.

Exciting, yet terrifying and confusing all at the same time.

Looking back, there are things you wish you’d known, right? Here are some things I’ve learned that I wish someone would have told me when I was eighteen.

1. You don’t find meaning; you

…

13 Things to Do Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others

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“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” ~Shannon L. Alder

You know it already.

You know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Yet, that’s often easier said than done.

Job title, income, grades, house, and Facebook likes—the number of categories in which we can compare ourselves to others are infinite. So is the number of people we can compare ourselves to.

Comparison is generally the fast track to unhappiness. It’s a recipe for misery. All it does is keeping you focused on what you don’t like about yourself and your life.

Ever …

A Surprising Way to Let Go of Painful Feelings and the Past

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“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” ~Marianne Williamson

I’ve struggled with it.

Letting go, I mean. I’ve struggled with moving on from my past. I’ve struggled with ridding myself of guilt, shame, and grief. I’ve struggled with freeing myself from mistakes, past relationships, and worries about the future.

It’s not that I haven’t tried. Believe me, I’ve tried really hard. I’ve written goodbye letters, mentally cut the energetic cords, and fiercely gone back into the pain to free myself fully from it. I’ve cried my eyes …

How I Think My Friend Who Died Would Want Me to Live

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“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins

Have you ever been there?

When someone you love suddenly disappears. When life, within a few seconds, turns upside down. When your biggest problems suddenly seem like nothing but drops in the ocean.

I know I have.

It was December 15, 2013. That was the day when everything changed, when her life came to an end, and many other lives were changed forever.

When they first told me she was gone, I couldn’t fully grasp reality. For a …

How to Find the Courage to Quit Your Unfulfilling Job

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“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake.” ~Francis Bacon Sr.

Isn’t it a shame?

You’ve studied and worked hard to get to where you are.

You’ve succeeded.

And you got that job.

But now, it just doesn’t feel right.

Well, I understand exactly what you’re going through.

Once upon a time, I thought I had it all too.

A great position, a great salary with generous bonuses, and I was working in the heart of the city …

19 Simple Daily Habits for a Happier Life

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“Hug harder. Laugh louder. Smile bigger. Love longer.” ~Unknown

Did you ever have it all mixed up?

Happiness, I mean. I once thought that a university degree and good grades would make me happy. I thought that traveling the world would leave me feeling fulfilled. I thought that moving abroad and getting that top-notch job would make me satisfied and content.

They all did, but only for a while. They always came with an expiration date.

Finally, I had to stop and ask myself, “If I’m not able to be truly happy now, will I ever be?” If I couldn’t …

The Bright Side of Having Little Money: 9 Reasons to Stay Upbeat

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“If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy.” ~Proverb

Ever been in a bad money situation?

Life might have been cushy before, but all of a sudden you find yourself having to carefully watch your spending. You start worrying about how to make ends meet.

You’re unable to afford the luxuries you’ve grown accustomed to—the ones you used to take for granted, like a Starbucks coffee or a meal at a restaurant.

I found myself in such a situation not too long ago.

I used to have a well-paid corporate job that …