Home→Forums→Tough Times→This year
- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 6 days ago by
Alessa.
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August 29, 2026 at 7:08 am #460693
FiguringitooutParticipantThis year has been crazy.
I remember a day back in February, it all felt peaceful. I felt like I had it together. It felt ok. Then the phone rang, a family member had died suddenly, same age as me. That let me to having to get checked medically and being put on medication to manage my condition.
A month later another family bereavement
And another month later my absolute best friend has diagnosed with cancer, she died two weeks ago
I’m not even sure how I feel. Bruised, battered and human. So much has happened, I’m now on antidepressants. I’m working my way through it even though it still doesn’t feel real.
I’m trying to be gentle with myself. But still there’s things I want to do, to achieve. So yes time for sadness but also time for living. That’s what she would have wanted. Some days all I want to do is cry, sit in a dark room and hide, others I want to live and get out there. Doesn’t feel like she’s gone
What I now know is things can change, rapidly. We never know what is coming. Six months ago she was well and had no idea of what was around the corner. I spend so much of my life stressing around work, the house, cleaning, etc etc.. none of it actually matters.
August 29, 2026 at 9:04 am #460701
Thomas168ParticipantHello Figuringitout,
I am sorry for all your loss. People become important in our life then they move on in one way or another. All things change thru time. Stress is generated thru our reaction to events. How you handle this determines your well being. You are in a stage of life when friends and family begin to leave you behind. Whether you can accept this or not will not change the events. My advice, which has never helped anyone, is to live life evenly. Move forward from one day to the next. Keep your mind focused on your goals. If you have no goals then find one. Learn Buddhism for example. Good luck to you and your future.
Tommy
August 29, 2026 at 9:26 am #460702
anitaParticipantHello Figuringitout 🙂
It’s a shock to the system, to lose so much in six months. That’s why it still doesn’t feel real.
There was a peaceful day sometime in February, and then a death, another in March, and in April- your absolute best friend was diagnosed with cancer, and now, she’s gone.
This series of losses, particularly in such a short time, and the anxiety you must have felt during the months of your best friend’s illness, would have destabalized anyone in your place.
“So, yes, time for sadness, but also time for living. That’s what she would have wanted”-
She would have wanted for you to be okay, to live, to get out there.. because she was your absolute best friend, and in a way, she still is ✨️
“I spent so much of my life stressing around work, the house, cleaning, etc., etc., and none of it matters.”-
I would very much like to read your thoughts about what matters 🙂
🌿 Anita
August 29, 2026 at 9:55 am #460705
RobertaParticipantDear Figuringitout
That is a lot of death & loss to process in such a short time, dare one say life altering.
I hope that the joy & wisdom that your loved ones gave you continues to help you navigate your grief journey.Roberta
August 29, 2026 at 11:58 am #460709
AlessaParticipantHi Figuringitout
I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your family members and best friend. 🫂 🩵
I’m glad you got yourself checked out and are treating your health. You matter!
It’s understandable to go on antidepressants to help you cope with the grief.
As strange as it might sound, I think you’re doing a good job handling everything. It would be very strange to be unaffected by the loss of loved ones. You’re doing a good job not letting it consume you.
I think the ones we love live on through us. What do you think?
It’s beautiful that you’re honouring your best friend. 🩵
It’s strange growing up and that illusion of being indestructible shattering. I notice things now that I didn’t used to.
My friend’s son has a heart condition. One of my neighbours has a severely autistic son. Another a young child who can’t walk. A friend with an autistic child who can’t talk. A friend with cancer. Another friend who is dying. An older lady across from me is losing her ability to walk. A neighbour lost his wife due to medical negligence. A head of social work with a toddler diagnosed with cancer so late they only gave her 4 weeks to live.
It is sad the suffering, but I think it also can make us appreciate what we have even more and clarify what we want. We only have one life and we don’t choose the circumstances. We just have to try and make the best of it or what is the point? What do you think? 🩵
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