Posts tagged with “wisdom”
How to Use Comparisons for Growth Instead of Feeling Inferior
“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield
Comparison is something we all struggle with at one point or another. Although it’s something that conventional self-help wisdom urges us to avoid, it’s also a way of gauging where we fit in the world.
Usually, when we engage in comparison, we do so from an ego-based perspective and find ourselves (or others) lacking. This approach doesn’t benefit anyone involved, but, until recently, this was my predominant experience of comparison.
I also had the belief that healthy …
You Don’t Have to Believe Your Negative Thoughts About Yourself
“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~ James Allen
We all have a picture of ourselves in our minds. A picture of what we believe we are like. A picture we choose to believe no matter what.
We can cling to this idea about ourselves all we want, but that will not make it true. This is not as easy to realize and even harder to accept, but it’s an important step toward a conscious life.
I believe we all go through dark phases when our image of ourselves breaks …
The Most Important Thing to Do Before a Difficult Conversation
“You are your choices.” ~Seneca
After four years of radio silence, a former flame appeared in my inbox.
We set up a time to talk later that week. And when the day came, right on time, he called.
We talked. I had many questions. He explained the best he could. The conversation eased into Taoism and Twitter. Totally comfortable.
But for the twenty-four hours beforehand, I was bracing myself.
I was expecting long, awkward silences, angry words, and maybe even a premature hanging up of the phone. In case it’s not clear, things hadn’t ended so well with us.
And …
Taking a Chance on Happiness and Knowing We Deserve It
“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Denis Waitley
I like to tell the story of how I changed my mind about myself and what I was worthy of and how that change almost immediately led me to my husband—or, rather, how it led him to me. On Craigslist.
But unlike a fairytale, we didn’t go straight from point A (boy meets girl on a sometimes-shady website) to point B (boy marries girl in the church she was baptized and grew up in, …
How Our Addiction to Struggle Holds Us Back
“Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.” ~Chuang Tzu
Do you feel, on some level, that your life is hard work? That you need to struggle in order to improve things in your world? Do you feel that you even need to struggle to reach a desired goal, to overcome adversity before achieving something worthy?
Our addiction to struggle is an impediment to us feeling the joy of quiet and the now, the place from which subtle and natural development can occur.
This addiction to struggling—the addiction to striving, always trying to achieve—used to hold me back from experiencing …
Why Life Is More Joyful When We Let Go of “Good” and “Bad”
“Love is the absence of judgment.” ~Dalai Lama
If judgment is the act of labeling something as good or bad, then it seems we humans do it thousands of times a day. Those of us on a spiritual path even label judgment as a bad thing. We know that pain comes from judgment, but it’s such a part of our culture that there seems to be no way around it.
The Dalai Lama says, “Love is the absence of judgment.” And if that’s true, how do we get there?
From the time I wake up and ask myself if I …
We Have the Power to Choose
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” ~Wayne Dyer
When I was twelve years old I returned from a weekend at my aunt’s house, with my mom, to find my father dead in bed. I remember my mom’s screams causing many of our neighbors to come over to see what had happened.
The experience shut me down. I don’t know how else to put it. My father was young: fifty-three years old. It was a huge shock to everyone.
Apparently, he was too proud to get a pacemaker. He died of a heart …
Why Self-Compassion Is the Key to Being Our Authentic Selves
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I was raised in a family where outward appearance and reputation were important. Standing out was only encouraged if it was within the bounds of what was considered “normal.”
No one ever explicitly told me, “What other people think of you is more important than being your true self,” yet that’s what I learned to believe. It became my mission to be accepted by others, because I thought that only then would I be worthy of love.…
Simple Ways to Improve Our Relationships, Starting Today
“My experience is that the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with right now.” ~Byron Katie
I never had a good relationship with my father when I was younger.
Sometimes he expressed his opinions in a rude way, sounding more like an attack than advice.
Many times he apologized after being rude, but I was too cold to forgive or listen.
The years passed, and I never made an effort to improve our relationship. It felt easier to deal with my mother. She was the one I always went to when I needed something, had a question, …
4 Lessons on Conquering Fear and Living the Life You Want to Live
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” ~Marianne Williamson
After lying on my apartment floor for an hour, I walked over to the mirror, leaned in, and looked into my eyes. This was the moment I came face to face with the truth: I was afraid to stand up and be who I wanted to be in this …
The Pay As You Feel Cafe
Chef Adam Smith serves perfectly good food that would otherwise go to waste, on a pay-as-you-feel basis. As for why he decided to do this in Leeds, in the UK, Adam says, “You can’t change the world unless you change your hometown first.”
What a beautiful mission! Follow the Pay As You Feel Cafe on Facebook here.
Rediscover The Beauty Of Life Instead of Just Getting By
“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda
As kids, we are beings of wonder. Spending hours inspecting blades of grass, hoping to discover lady beetles, rocking fairy wings or a cape at the shops because we feel like it, laughing for the silliest reasons, and finding unadulterated happiness in special treats, our favorite cartoon, or a game of hide and seek.
As teenagers, we often become too cool to find joy in the simplest things but still manage it hanging out with friends, falling in love …
5 Ways to Get Energized and Motivated When You Feel Lazy
“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” ~Benjamin Disraeli
Although laziness is common and a natural part of life, it has the potential to completely consume us.
I personally have times where laziness causes me to feel trapped. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to shake it off. I feel tired, fall asleep constantly during the day, sit around a lot and feel unable to be active, avoid doing anything productive, and put on hold things that I want to accomplish.
I believe there are two kinds of laziness. First, there’s …
Keep Your Eye on the Prize to Find the Courage to Keep Going
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I will never forget June 20, 1999.
I experienced many firsts on that day: leaving my family behind, traveling by plane, and being surrounded by people talking a different language.
But that day wasn’t exceptional for those reasons alone; it also put me on a path of independence and self-discovery that has treated me well ever since.
My dream was simple in my teens: to live abroad and speak a foreign language.
I wanted this because of the …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
