Posts tagged with “wisdom”
A Simple, Tiny Exercise to Help You Make a Big Change
“Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” ~Glenda Cloud
Growing up, I never had that many friends. The concept of best friends is still foreign to me. For the first seventeen years of my life, I found myself happier alone than in the presence of other people.
I wanted to join them; I just didn’t know how.
In order to protect myself from people I’d rather not mention, I decided to join a karate class. For the first time I belonged to a group that was slowly starting to accept me.
In the months that followed, I began to go out …
How to Maintain Healthy Habits and Stop Sabotaging Yourself
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
About two years go, I felt horrible about myself and where I was in my life: single, struggling to lose weight, miserable in my job (and no clue what to do about it), and unfulfilled in general.
I kept trying to bully myself in order to be the person I wanted to be and have the things I wanted to have.
I kept saying to myself, “I can’t believe you said/ate/did that. There’s something wrong with you” and giving myself strict rules to follow, …
Why We Don’t Do What We Want to Do and How to Start
“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” ~Unknown
“The truth is,” she said, “if you can’t put fifteen minutes a day into your art, then you’re making an excuse.”
I squirmed in my seat.
It was February 1, 2011, and I was on the phone, interviewing Michele, a professional artist and artist’s mentor, for an online course I created.
Michele was sharing what she tells the artists in her mentorship program who complain of not having enough time to do their art. Her words were intended for her mentees, but …
5 Ways to Seize the Moment and Live Without Regrets
“Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear.” ~Unknown
Samara is my colleague at work. She is one of the most pleasant ladies I know. She always has a smile and an encouraging word to give.
She really is the kind of woman you want to speak to on the days you feel like life has dealt you a bad hand, because she always has something comforting to say. As we got closer, I confided more and more in her about the challenges I was going through in my life.
I envisioned …
How to Improve Your Relationships and Make a Kinder World
“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha
I once attended a lecture given by a world-renowned expert on post-traumatic stress disorder. The lecture made two points that I have never forgotten. I call them “brain tricks.”
1. Given a choice, our primitive brain will naturally select for the negative. It’s a survival thing.
2. When in crisis, the part of our brain that conceptualizes time and space goes off line. In other words, our brain increases the urgency of the problem by making us think the crisis will never …
Things Will Never Be Perfect: Making Peace with Everyday Challenges
“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown
A few weeks ago, I walked into my studio apartment and found it quite messy, which isn’t that hard to do with 325 square feet shared by a couple.
I’m talking clothes on the floor, dishes on the couch, and paper strewn everywhere. It had been one of those weeks where both my husband and I were ripping and running, having little to no time to manage household chores.
I looked around, took a deep breath, and sat down on the couch after moving some papers. I enjoyed some dinner with …
How to Feel at Home Wherever You Are
“Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.” ~Basho
For over three years, I’ve been living out of a suitcase and traveling around the world doing a combination of volunteering, housesitting, and couch surfing.
This journey started after I decided to drastically change my life. In the span of a week, I filed for divorce, quit my high-paying job in New York, left my PhD program at an Ivy League school, sold all my stuff, and flew to South America.
After spending six months volunteering in Brazil, I began to realize that, while I was born and …
How to Embrace Your True Beauty (Not the Media’s Ideal)
“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~Kahlil Gibran
A few years shy of my fiftieth birthday, I went on a road trip with one of my best friends from high school. We’d taken some version of this trip many times during our teens and twenties, but as we started raising young children, we didn’t have much time for getaways.
But on this occasion, our kids were old enough to fend for themselves, and we hit the road with same excitement and silliness that characterized all of our youthful adventures.
We spent the next …
How to Stop Judging and Being Hard on Yourself
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
For a long time I joked that if I had a time machine, I would go back to 1989 and give my sixteen-year-old self a swift butt kicking. But then a few months ago, on my fortieth birthday, a friend posted a picture of me at sixteen on Facebook.
Seeing this image of myself totally threw me for a loop. Other than a school photo, it’s probably one of the few pictures I am aware of from that time in my life.
I spent …
How We Can Reduce Our Suffering by Feeling Uncomfortable Feelings
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Just about everyone experiences sorrow at times. I know I do.
The other morning, in fact, I was caught off guard by a very particular sorrow. Nothing happened, per se; but from the moment I awoke, I felt an aching sense of sadness and loss at the fact that my career path has taken me away from the field of mental health counseling.
As I became aware of my sorrow, it filled my heart and mind like …
How to Release Disappointment and Thrive When Life Isn’t Fair
“When you learn to accept instead of expect, you’ll have fewer disappointments.” ~Unknown
At thirty-six weeks pregnant, I was in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, screaming with pain. It was excruciating, the worst pain I had ever experienced, and I had experienced lots.
As the ambulance officer supported me out the front door and into the back of the ambulance, all I could think was, “How is this going to affect my baby?”
After two ambulances, two hospitals, and a barrage of tests, I was sitting on the hospital bed, absolutely exhausted—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
My thoughts started …
How to Be Hurt Less by So-Called Evil People
“Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
There were monsters in my closet—or so my five-year-old self believed. As soon as my mother kissed me goodnight and flipped the lights off, they would appear.
See, in my room, the sliding closet doors were kept open, and on the top three shelves, monsters would magically appear in the darkness. Their wide mouths closely resembled folded towels and their eyes looked like the buttons of my sweaters, but I was too scared to notice.
I could only see evil creatures staring at me, and after a …
What We Need to Do Before We Can Have Happy, Loving Relationships
“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown
Ever since I was a young girl, relationships have fascinated me, particularly romantic ones. I had beautiful fantasies of my perfect partner appearing and completing me. We would fall in love and live happily ever after.
As a child, I believed that being in a romantic relationship, and especially being married, meant lasting happiness. All the love and joy I would ever want or need would be mine when “the one” arrived. Daydreams of my soul mate filled my tween brain.
This fairy tale view of relationships …
Finally Letting Go of the Pain and Moving On after a Breakup
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C. S. Lewis
Another year over and you’re still troubled by a relationship that ended last year or in years past. The whole thing is dragging on too long—why can’t you just get over it? But every time you think about it or bump into your ex, you feel ruined again
How about giving your feelings another shake?
Rattle them in any direction—a new one. If it turns out to be the wrong direction you …
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