March 4, 2016 at 4:08 pm #98036
don’t you think even the things that are right in front of us can be confusing? cause we don’t usually see everything. there must be something else we should be seeing i think. or sometimes we can be too slow to understand what we are seeing.
maybe i could start writing notes to myself? pretty cliché, but i usually write so maybe i can do that too as an exercise.
what do you think about coincidences anita? seeing a lot of the same thing. everywhere?March 4, 2016 at 7:50 pm #98043
Can you give me an example of something that is “right in front of (you)” that is confusing to you, because you can’t see everything there is about it? If you give me an example I will be able to answer, i believe.
You want to write notes about..? About what you see, you mean? That can be useful. And interesting for me to read!
Coincidences happen. These are random things that happen and we go: how interesting! I can’t believe this happened just when I was… this or that. Random things. Never underestimate that brain, Wisdom: billions of neurons, I hear… millions of connections. We always make connections, in this very sentence I am typing right now, between each two words I am coming up with, there is a connection between two neurons that allows the connection between any two words. In each sentence different connections in the brain allow my typing of each letter, the remembering of the spelling of each word, the connecting between words, subject, verb, object, to allow a sentence to make sense to you!
When you are in school, looking around: there is a lot that you are seeing. What you pay attention to is just part of what you see. What is already in your brain finds that something out there that you are looking at… if you are thinking of the number 8, you will be paying attention to “8” in signs, on people’s T-Shirts. Suddenly there is 8 everywhere. A coincidence? not really. the digit 7 is there too, you are just not noticing it because you have 8 on your mind.
Ah… I am exhausted from making so many connections….
anitaMarch 4, 2016 at 8:19 pm #98045
so you don’t think that recurring things mean something? we just make them happen?
how about this one to be more close to what i was thinking (which might just get to the same answer now that i think of it): you see butterflies everywhere. on tv, and then once you go outside there are butterflies that seem to follow you and then you see a butterfly on someone’s shirt. and it doesn’t happen just one day. maybe it’ll happen a few days. this can also go for the things that we see in front of us. wouldn’t that kind of thing have to mean something? what would it mean? shouldn’t there be some kind of science or spirit behind it? i’n not talking about the exact situation per se. just any ol’ xyz. don’t you think that (in this case, butterflies would have to mean something. something specific to you?
and yes i’ll write positive notes to myself and maybe record my thoughts, but come up with more positive backup or solution to them.March 4, 2016 at 8:33 pm #98049
The butterflies … there they are. They live for how long, I don’t know. Not for long. So you see them for a few days before they die. I suppose. You saw butterflies on TV, then you go outside and you see butterflies. But you also see ants and other insects and animals but in your brain, there is the very recent memory of having seen butterflies, not ants. So you go outside and you see ants but you are not paying attention. It doesn’t even register that you ants are in your sight. You don’t pay attention. But you see butterflies and with the fresh memory, they register. Plus butterflies are bigger and they fly and catch the eye more than ants anyway.
No, it means nothing about you, no sign from god or the universe.
The truth is not in signs that the… Universe/ god is sending you… The truth is in what is CLEARLY in front of you. Why look for vague signs when you have clear information in front of you?
So you see butterflies. What is the information there? A guess: The Universe is trying to tell you to get out of your figurative cocoon and fly. Could that be a message?
You already know that you are “afraid to live”- this is how you titled this thread. If the butterflies are a message that you need to get out of the cocoon of fear where you are imprisoned-like, well you already know that!
anitaMarch 4, 2016 at 9:13 pm #98052
okay i see your point now. the only thing i don’t understand is the more uncertain things. the things where you have to wait for an answer or pry it out. that’s the only thing that still doesn’t make sense.March 5, 2016 at 7:38 am #98072
You wrote: “you have to wait for an answer or pry it out.” The answers are in you and right outside you, not “out there”. For example: you are afraid. Question: Why? Answer: Because you experienced hurt in the past and you are afraid to experience more of it, and maybe even worse. What to do? Take small steps, make something small but desirable happen every day so to build your confidence in your ability to make a difference in your own life. Over time you will be less afraid and more resourceful.
How? look right outside of you, as you are doing for the daily assignments: a mirror? do the mirror exercise. A girl in school that looks lonely? You talked to her. You were nominated VP for a club- you attend the first meeting coming Tuesday. You applied for a job. These are all things you did and none of them is too small. Each is significant. Don’t forget the assignment today!
anitaMarch 9, 2016 at 11:51 am #98454
just letting you know i finally fid that kindergarten thing anita.March 9, 2016 at 4:02 pm #98464
Glad you wrote to me. I will write you back every time you post, and I am glad you did.
Reading your line above, I don’t understand the word “fid”- what do you mean? I know you were going to volunteer or spend time with the teacher there to see if this is something you want to do in the future, work as a kindergarten teacher…
anitaMarch 9, 2016 at 6:58 pm #98498
i meant did, sorry about that typo.March 9, 2016 at 7:08 pm #98499
Then this is the assignment of the day! Tell me how did it go? I am curious!
anitaMarch 9, 2016 at 7:34 pm #98501
it actually went very well anita! i loved it! and even though i only spent half the day it was wonderful. it’s easy for me to get along with kids so it was a piece of cake in that sense, but i was so nervous at first. but all the kids were great and so sweet and smart. it actually made me feel like in some way i belong rather than feeling like i didn’t at all. and then after leaving all i could think about was me wanting to have kids or just wanting to be a kindergarten teacher so bad for sure and finally giving up the confusion of a major. and it was really really nice to see my kindergarten teacher again. she’s actually one of my favorite teachers that i’ve ever had.March 9, 2016 at 7:40 pm #98502
Wow- what a powerful testimony! I am so encouraged to read this! Yes, yes, yes: Wisdom is finding her way! the fact that you felt so good there, like you belonged… and indeed no confusion there. And she was YOUR kindergarten teacher..you being only 19, this would be well… 15 years ago or so? So Kindergarten teacher is what you are aiming at?
I need to calm down, I am a bit too excited for my own good…
anitaMarch 10, 2016 at 5:18 am #98516
haha! i’m glad you’re excited and encouraged, that’s always a good feeling to have! and yes she was my kindergarten teacher so she was more than willingnto let me have the experience and invited me back to do it again! i really think being a kindergarten teacher is a solid choice that i want to do although i am still curious about other things. but if anything, i think being a kindergarten teacher would be the best thing!March 10, 2016 at 8:28 am #98527
I am glad you feel definite about wanting to be a kindergarten teacher! I am imagining it right now in my mind’s eye and I like what I see. It is natural of course, to be curious about other things. I know you wanted or want to be an actress for one. You can take an acting class and experiment with acting that way… just like you experimented with being a kindergarten teacher! Try this, try that and get the feel of this and that…
I saw you started a new thread today, that may be the assignment of the day. We skipped one a few days ago, and this is fine. Are you interested in continuing with the-assignment-of-the-day routine?
anitaMarch 10, 2016 at 1:35 pm #98560
i’m just seeing this anita and i’ll definitely love to continue the assignments i think it would be very helpful for me.
i’m too nervous for acting class i think but i think that’ll probably come a whole nother time from now haha!