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- This topic has 401 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 3 days ago by anita.
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November 4, 2017 at 7:31 am #176457AnonymousGuest
Dear Lisa:
It would upset me too if someone removed my label off the shelf, and if my employer lost my paycheck and if someone talked to me in a disrespectful tone and if I was pressured to spend less time in the kitchen and so forth. All these things and many more have bothered me very much for many years. It is the extent of how much things bother me that I hope has changed. It is possible to be less bothered, less disturbed when those things happen. When we are less disturbed, less distressed, we function more effectively, less overwhelmed and more reasonable.
The option of living in a world where everyone will behave like they should doesn’t exit.
anita
November 9, 2017 at 7:46 pm #177363LisaParticipantI am not doing well right now. No, people do not understand because very few people experience the level of loneliness that I have had/ have to endure. Even if they have been alone for 10 years somewhere along the way they were connected to someone. Not only do I have to endure my situation but I have to endure it silently. I am in trouble emotionally and it feels like I’m going down and people are just watching me go down. That basically says it all. I don’t understand why this happened to me.
Nothing could help me…everything I had..My looks, my talents, my intelligence…none of it could or can save me. Do you have any idea how devastated I am over that?
November 10, 2017 at 4:59 am #177451AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
I think I have an idea regarding how devastated you are. I have been devastated very continuously for decades (with those breaks from devastation that the brain takes on it own, as in daydreaming and the euphoric feeling that accompanies wishful thinking and make believe). I know loneliness very well. And like you, I thought I was the only one, that everyone else was happy.
You are not alone, Lisa. You are not one of very few people that are devastated. There are many, unfortunately.
You wrote: “I am in trouble emotionally and it feels like I’m going down and people are just watching me go down”- you have been feeling this way for… decades and you survived it. It only feels like you are going down.
I wish you felt better and soon.
anita
November 27, 2017 at 12:48 pm #179595LisaParticipantI have been given many words of wisdom. Thank you. I will post when I do not need a boost. I wish to do it for myself.
November 28, 2017 at 6:37 am #179691AnonymousGuestYou are welcome, Lisa. Good to have you back on your thread anytime.
anita
December 9, 2017 at 3:11 am #181157LisaParticipantYou know I can’t say what I want. Because on top if my injury my intelligence gets insulted. Everywhere I go I have to play a game. Work, outside, even in a forum, I have to pretend and opressors are felt sorry for. I am really sad now because not only do I have to deal with my opressors I have to hear people defend them and worse say that they are not doing anything wrong and making them out to be the victums. That is the story of my life.
I am only wanted temporarily for work until my body completely gives out. I am very intelligent but another member pointed out in her thread that if your real people don’t like it.
The evidence shows that obviously that some can be real initially but how long will that be tolerated? I can’t believe the subtle reminders that I am insignificant. Well many are missing out because I have everything.
December 9, 2017 at 6:03 am #181175AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
Is there anyone on these forums on tinybuddha insulting your intelligence?
Anyone here feeling sorry and defending your oppressors?
Is there anyone here, in these Forums, providing you with “subtle reminders that (you are) insignificant”?
If so, how?
anita
December 9, 2017 at 10:56 am #181235LisaParticipantI can not answer your questions Anita because I know where the answers will lead.
I want to know is it more Buddha like to speak about injustice or to say nothing about injustice? What if your peers support the injustice? What if they claim it doesn’t exist?
I have to go to work. Can clarify later.
December 10, 2017 at 3:01 am #181325AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
Injustice exists, there is a whole lot of it, more than there is justice. You asked “What if your peers support the injustice?”- then have nothing to do with those peers. If you have to work with them keep minimal contact, only what is necessary to remain employed.
“What if they claim it (injustice) doesn’t exist?”- if they claim life is just and there is no injustice in life then they are delusional. If, on the other hand, they claim that a particular circumstance is not unjust even though you see it as unjust, they may be correct, depending on the circumstance.
anita
December 10, 2017 at 4:42 am #181349AnonymousInactiveDear Lisa, know that you are not alone, I came to a Realization the other day that every thing i have done in my life was always about me, I looked for pleasure in every corner but never found the one that would make me complete except for the other day when I found my wife of 48 years, and realized how much I have hurt her which she accepted time and time again, I have prayed I have meditated, I have sought forgivness but I realize that first I must forgive myself in order to move on,. Human beings are never satisfied until they realize it’s not all about them, and without a good guide maybe never will, I had a therapist who was a very good man and I loved him dearly. He passed away a few months ago, and I have been rather despondent in many ways, but i think he was sent by God, he always used to say to me I had a hanging judge in my corner that I need to let go of God bless and I wish you well
December 10, 2017 at 11:50 am #181427LisaParticipantJoe and Anita I will respond to both of your posts tonight. I am at my job currently. Thank you.
December 15, 2017 at 1:54 am #182261LisaParticipantI am not thinking clearly enough to answer right now but appreciate responses to my thread. I will answer as soon as I can.
December 15, 2017 at 10:43 am #182407AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
I hope will be able to think clearly soon. Looking forward to reading from you.
anita
December 16, 2017 at 7:11 am #182483AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
Thinking about you this morning, the song that means so much to you (page 14 of your thread:
“…I’m not myself when you go quiet
I’m not myself alone at night
I’m not myself, don’t know who to call
I’m not myself at allJesus Christ will you look at me
Don’t know who I’m supposed to be”-the writer who doesn’t write, the artist who doesn’t draw… overwhelmed by the daily tasks required to physically survive, breaking down often, feeling persecuted, oppressed by men and the women who support them. Dreaming of a man who will pursue you with enthusiasm, dreaming of the first love relationship with a man.
“I’m not myself at all… look at me/ Don’t know who I’m supposed to be”-
Here, on this thread, you are a writer who writes. Thank you for your writing.
anita
December 21, 2017 at 5:04 am #183119LisaParticipantAnita I can’t find anyone who doesn’t support the injustice because there is a payoff for people that do. They have families, friends admirers because they keep their mouths shut about what happens to true victums and spend most of their time complaining about what they are willing to put up with. Some women who complain are usually the ones taking care of their husbands and women who remain silent about everything are usually being taken care of.
Anita I am trying to respond but I am still not ready. Want to also respond to the other person who posted but have so much going on and haven’t had much time to myself other than to sleep.
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