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being surrounded with bitter people and lonliness

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Viewing 15 posts - 181 through 195 (of 246 total)
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  • #411864
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    Reading your last message made me smile for the first time in a few days (as far as I remember now). It makes me feel good to think of you as my friend. im so glad to hear that , your note made me smile too . honestly it was my first time to join a forum regarding my experiences and i wasnt  so hopeful that i could find someone who understands me like you , i always enjoy your comments and it makes me feel good to think of you as my friend too , xoxo

    unfortunately , technology let me down today , i wrote a reply at 10 o clock am and now  i was checking again to see your reply  , i found out the one i wrote wasnt sent . i also tried to install some programs in my laptop, again with no success. any way im gonna write it again .

    first the heart doctor guy whom you called heartless heart doctor , lol . very well put , i agree with you, he was so tired and overwhelmed with problems to care about anything but his own benefits . i dont condemn it though , i think his mindset of playing victim and thinking the world owe them an easy pass wont work at all . he reminds me of my stepmother , she also had a hard life and had this mentality about people who didn`t as bad people who owe her , the generosity , forgiveness and time . she does lots of unforgivable things  to people she knows , the one who had been nice and generous to her and expect them to forgive her after she screw them over . she also ONLY think about herself and considers others specially other women as subhuman .

    returning to the guy , yes it was a very unfortunate experience with a very bad person at a very bad time . but im glad i wasnt that broken to put up with his demands , after chatting with him i realized he is not the person who i would respect or i would care to lose . im sure he would discard me in much worse way if he got what he wanted and about money and having no character ,well i dont think having money help this kind of people to be better , it usually makes them worse . if thats even possible . im just feel sorry for his patients .

    about amir nasr azadani , unfortunately , i cant say if it is his end or not , i certainly hope not . In Iran these days the big football players are very active in encouraging people to protest and they are successful because young population look up to them , i think maybe the regime is trying to scare them by putting Amir in prison and threatening to execute him or they maybe actually execute him to make an example of him so the others wouldnt talk against the government , nothing is impossible in my country with current government .

    farnaz

     

    #411871
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    My computer broke, the screen came apart, I used another computer in the morning. When I got your post, I got a reply started, it was halfway done, was still in a good mood, then left the computer for a while (before submitting) and when I returned, the computer was doing updates at the speed of Never. Now I am back, my reply is gone and not in a good mood. So, I’ll return to you later.

    anita

    #411883
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    Your words (first paragraph) are very special to me, they are precious! I want to reply further in the morning, hoping for a better technological and mechanical computer experience for the two of us!

    anita

    #411885
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    thank you for your warm words and sorry for the frustrating experience ,me too hoping for a better technical experience , today

    can`t wait to hear from you soon

    farnaz

    #411894
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    Having just read your recent post, I found myself smiling for the first time this morning. My computer screen is held together temporarily by clips and my keyboard is acting out (the letter M is difficult to type… every single time). But I am glad to be able to do what I normally do every morning.

    First the heart doctor guy whom you called heartless heart doctor, lol, very well put“- thank you for lol-ing my pun (I am challenged when it comes to coming up with puns and jokes, and with understanding others’ puns and jokes).

    I agree with you, he was so tired and overwhelmed with problems to care about anything but his own benefits… yes, it was a very unfortunate experience with a very bad person at a very bad time“- good people are fair and kind (fair and at least not abusive) with others no matter how they feel, even when sick, tired and/ or depressed; bad people are fair and kind to others only when they feel good, or particularly good. I am thinking about the nights at work when you had good discussions with him.. when he treated you like a valuable human being.. he was probably feeling good at that time, relaxed. Then in the morning, gone was his good feeling.

    I’m sure he would discard me in much worse way if he got what he wanted“- when a man uses a woman as a sexual object, he discards the object when he is done with it… much like the discarding of a paper plate after eating from it. If he has options (a stack of new paper plates), he wants the next meal on a new plate. These men consider a wife to be something like a ceramic plate to use in front of guests (society), but when guests are away, it’s left dirty in the sink .. and when out and about, away from home, they still use paper plates.

    “but I’ glad I wasn’t that broken to put up with his demands“- that’s what I thought when I first read the story: I was impressed by your strength and spunk (courage and determination).

    He reminds me of my stepmother, she also had a hard life and had this mentality about people who didn’t as bad people who owe her“- jealous of/ angry at other people who (she perceives) to have a better life than hers.

    She does lots of unforgivable things to people she knows, the one who had been nice and generous to her and expect them to forgive her after she screw them over. She also only thinks about herself“- she expresses her anger at others, then feeling temporarily relieved of her anger, she is ready to resume the relationship on good terms.. until the next time when her jealousy and anger build up.

    She…  considers others, especially other women as subhuman“- lots of women consider other women as subhuman, in line with how many men think. Lots of people of a particular ethnicity or race, etc.,  consider other people of the same ethnicity or race as subhuman, in line with .. how the people of the alleged superior ethnicity or race think.

    About money and having no character, well, I don’t think having money helps this kind of people to be better, it usually makes them worse, if that’s even possible“- it is possible when they use their money to hurt more people.

    “I just worry for his patients“- hopefully he worries about his professional reputation being hurt if patients in his care get worse or die unnecessarily. Hopefully, he takes seriously the principle of nonmaleficence (“The principle of nonmaleficence directs physicians to ‘do no harm’ to patients. Physicians must refrain from providing ineffective treatments or acting with malice toward patients”, pallipedia, org).

    About Amir Nasr Azadani, unfortunately, I can’t say if it is his end or not, I certainly hope not. In Iran these days, the big football players are very active in encouraging people to protest and they are successful because (the) young population look up to them“- a good man/ good people use their power (popularity and fame, in this case) to help and benefit others. I sure hope that Amir Nasr Azadani is or will be okay soon!

    I think maybe the regime is trying to scare them by putting Amir in prison, and threatening to execute him, or they may actually execute him to make an example of him, so others wouldn’t talk against the government, nothing is impossible in my country with current government“- the government has a problem, as I see it: they want to execute him so to scare young people into submission; on the other hand, executing him might make young people more angry than scared, and angrier, they may protest more.

    anita

    #411898
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    you  should fix that computer asap , i cant imagine how its held together by clips , i know it`s very frustrating to work technology when they are acting out , you prefer to go to old times .

    heartless reference was actually funny , i`ve never thought of it that way , i kinda enjoy sarcastic comments .

    – when a man uses a woman as a sexual object, he discards the object when he is done with it… much like the discarding of a paper plate after eating from it. If he has options (a stack of new paper plates), he wants the next meal on a new plate. women for men like him are for ego boost and feeling ok about themselves temporally and i believe when they discard women in very bad way is more satisfying than just ghosting or however a decent human does when they want to leave someone behind , im not saying ghosting is fine but in my opinion is much better that what this guy did in the condition i was . im sure he could  be even more brutal  and he would enjoy it more but he knew i would kick his a$$,  litterally , lol . after all i believe he expected me to come back and beg him to have sex with me . he was that delusional .

    that’s what I thought when I first read the story: I was impressed by your strength and spunk thank you very much Anita , but i regret i didn`t see his face  in that moment , lol

    he cared about his patients only because the upper year resident or a senior doctor was supervising overwise not so much , i had a feeling he was numbing himself to not feel pain and i saw this kind of cope mechanisms in my stepmom too .

     she expresses her anger at others, then feeling temporarily relieved of her anger, she is ready to resume the relationship on good terms.. until the next time when her jealousy and anger build up. im impressed by your ability to see through her , i dont remeber to describe her jealous , maybe i did , but its interesting you mentioned that . i thing the most jealous person ive ever met was her , she was pathologically jealous , even in smallest thing like buying a hair clip or painting her fingers in exact color that i did , i couldnt believe it first and i was telling myself im imagining it but she was so obvious and that was so annoying as you can imagine , unfortunately because alot of people couldnt believe it , i was accused of making up stuff just because she was my step mom . i saw alot of weird stuff about her , she is a retired teacher and she was friends with a former student , apart from age gap they had and i was wondering what they have in common ?the student had a very aggressive way about her and the weirdest thing was they talked no stop by phone i mean maybe at least 10 minutes each hour , doesnt it look strange ? people usually dont talk even with their parents or siblings during the day . my step mom was nice to my face but once i overheard a conversation she had with this girl about me , it was the sickest thing ive ever heard , they were twisting every word i said and turned it to something that only sick people could think of plus mocking me .  that was it for me , in that moment i was enlightened , i realized i shouldn`t talk to her about anything important to me , not that i was talking secret to her but i realized she gives very bad meaning in trivial stuff i say , it was disgusting

     it is possible when they use their money to hurt more people. i dont know about heartless heart doctor , but my step mom definitely used it to hurt me , she believes she has a lot of money and im poor , i think that makes her feel good about herself , i don`t care about her having money , she is projecting her own insecurities on me, she bragged a lot about her money and she thinks that makes me feel bad , so pathetic .

    a good man/ good people use their power (popularity and fame, in this case) to help and benefit others. I sure hope that Amir Nasr Azadani is or will be okay soon! i certainly hope so , i hope they don`t use him as an example to silent others , your last paragraph is true but again alot more people would be killed and it would be a tragedy for their family if nothing changes after all .

    #411901
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    You  should fix that computer asap, I can’t imagine how it’s held together by clips“- it works so far, although I have to press the M key twice each time.

    I kinda enjoy sarcastic comments” – so you enjoy my hummmmor, nice (I try to be funny, but I rarely succeed).

    “Women for men like him are for ego boost… I’m sure he could  be even more brutal  and he would enjoy it more but he knew I would kick his a$$,  literally , lol…“- second smile of the day appeared as I imagined the Far (good and beautiful, high in status) Naz (charming and elegant) literally kicking the guy’s a**!

    She was pathologically jealous, even in smallest thing like buying a hair clip or painting her fingers in exact color that I did… She is a retired teacher, and she was friends with a former student… they talked nonstop by phone, I mean maybe at least 10 minutes each hour, doesn’t it look strange“- looking from the outside, seeing an older woman talking to a much younger woman as if they were two teenage girls does look strange.. but looking at it through your step-mother’s eyes, a teenager in her own mind.. nothing strange about it.

    My step mother was“- a teenager stuck in an aging body, if I may complete the sentence.

    I overheard a conversation she had with this girl about me… they were twisting every word I said… plus mocking me“- two foolish teenage girls gossiping.

    I see what you meant by your father having enjoyed the two of you competing for his affections, one was significantly more emotionally mature than the other.

    I agree with what you wrote in your last paragraph. I will be following the news. Maybe international pressure on the matter will help.. maybe.

    anita

    #411914
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    second smile of the day appeared as I imagined the Far (good and beautiful, high in status) Naz (charming and elegant) literally kicking the guy’s a**!  well , you know sometimes even Farnazes should do some a&& kicking , even though they are beautiful , elegant and high in status. lol .

     looking from the outside, seeing an older woman talking to a much younger woman as if they were two teenage girls does look strange.. but looking at it through your step-mother’s eyes, a teenager in her own mind.. nothing strange about it. yes exactly and  she never  didn`t fail to amaze me that how immature she is .

    she is the kind who wouldnt be as happy for what she gets for her efforts as much if something offered it freely to her , and she wouldnt be happy if everybody is happy , she should be happier than others , that`s why she made every situation about herself by ruining the day or the occasion .

    I see what you meant by your father having enjoyed the two of you competing for his affections, one was significantly more emotionally mature than the other. i don`t understand how our differences make it enjoyable ?could you elaborate ?

    I agree with what you wrote in your last paragraph. I will be following the news , as far as i remember that was the longest protest in iran and i hope that would end in something positive , there killed so many people in street so far and claim the one who protests are brain washed by us government and ENEMIES OF THE REGIME , this is all they could say for any protest in iran , what else they can say , apparently , irans situation is so perfect in their minds and nobody with a functioning brain wouldnt protest.

    far

     

    #411927
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    Well , you know sometimes even Farnazes should do some a&& kicking , even though they are beautiful , elegant and high in status. lol“- I tend to notice my first smile of the day, and .. here it is!

     “She wouldn’t be happy if everybody is happy, she should be happier than others, that’s why she made every situation about herself by ruining the day or the occasion“-makes me think of the saying Misery likes Company. An edit of the saying, especially tailored for her would be: Your Misery is makes me feel better. It reminds me of my mother…

    I don`t understand how our differences make it enjoyable? Could you elaborate?“- I didn’t think or mean that your father enjoyed the differences between you and your step mother while the two of you competed for his affection (he enjoyed the competition itself). I added, as an afterthought, that the two of you competed for his affection in different ways.

    As far as I remember that was the longest protest in Iran and I hope that would end in something positive, they killed so many people in streets so far and claim the one who protest are brain washed by US government and ENEMIES OF THE REGIME… Apparently, Iran’s situation is so perfect in their minds and nobody with a functioning brain would protest“-

    – last night on the News Hour, a program I watch, there was an interview with CIA director Willian Burns, and I thought of you, of course. This is part of the interview:

    Judy Woodruff: “These unprecedented countrywide protests that Iran has seen after the death of a young woman in police custody, the morality police, is the regime now in serious jeopardy as a result of all this?

    William Burns: “I think what struck our analysts at CIA is both the duration of those protests, now almost three months on, and their scope, because they seem to cut across Iranian society, cut across ethnicities, socioeconomic groups. It is about a growing number of Iranians who are fed up, who are fed up with economic decay, with corruption, with the social restrictions that especially affect Iranian women. They are fed up with political oppression, fed up with the denial of basic human dignity. So, in the short term, I would — I don’t think the Iranian regime perceives an immediate threat to its grip. It still has some very practiced habits of repression and brutality that it’s continuing to employ. In the long term, though, I think the reality is that this is an Iranian regime does not have good answers for what’s on the minds of a very young population, 70 percent of which today is under the age of 30”- I didn’t know that the Iranian society is so young… !

    anita

    #411934
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    I read your reply , im glad i made you smile , im kinda stressed about an appointment tomorrow , i`m gonna reply to you arround noon in my time

    take care

    far

    #411936
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    Thank you for the note. I hope that your appointment tomorrow goes better than you expect. I am looking forward to read (after the appointment/ whenever you can and feel like posting) about how it went and how you are feeling, take care of yourself!

    anita

    #412058
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    thank you, actually it went great but there is another one on Tuesday , i hope that goes good too .

    “I think what struck our analysts at CIA is both the duration of those protests, now almost three months on, and their scope, because they seem to cut across Iranian society, cut across ethnicities, socioeconomic groups. It is about a growing number of Iranians who are fed up, who are fed up with economic decay, with corruption, with the social restrictions that especially affect Iranian women. They are fed up with political oppression, fed up with the denial of basic human dignity. So, in the short term, I would — I don’t think the Iranian regime perceives an immediate threat to its grip. It still has some very practiced habits of repression and brutality that it’s continuing to employ. In the long term, though, I think the reality is that this is an Iranian regime does not have good answers for what’s on the minds of a very young population, 70 percent of which today is under the age of 30” im amazed because it is very accurate , im not particularly interested in politics nor i follow the news so closely but as an iranian it was obvious for me that all this protests was not only  about killing mahsa , its about all limitations the government put for us . 1)getting a visa to go to another country  you also can transfer money to another country because all iranian banks are sanked all over the world 2) internet : is limited and filtered 3)the value of our money is currently lowest 4)COST OF LIVING basically we are paying like  western europe , every thing is so expensive and the prices are going upper in matter of days 5) having a property is a dream for most of us , in the past our parents could save money getting loans and they would me a home owner in few years , now its not possible with this economy , it`s like a dream which never gonna come true , there are a lot of sad stories about young people who did protest and they were banned from education, they can be in prison , killed  or needed to flee the country and the regime also haunted their family for example they were denied employment because of relation they had with that family member .

    yes we have a very young population , and the majority have lost hope about the future in Iran , unless something changes.

    far

     

    #412066
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    You are welcome. “I’m amazed because it is very accurate. I’m not particularly interested in politics…“- I am not at all surprised that the CIA director’s words were accurate because he was talking to the public (The News Hour, which I recommend as a source of true information!) and he wouldn’t want to discredit himself.. as the head of the Central Intelligence Agency.

    As an Iranian, it was obvious to me that all these protests were not about killing Mahsa. It’s about all limitations the government puts on us…“- most of what you listed here (3-5: the value of money, cost of living, home ownership) is happening all over the world for regular people (people not in the position of privilege and power), but in some countries more than in other countries.

    There are a lot of sad stories about young people who did protest… Yes we have a very young population, and the majority have lost hope about the future in Iran, unless something changes“- if ALL the people rebelled against the government, including the security forces, things would change immediately. It is a shame that there is no way to make it happen…

    anita

    #412071
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    were you watching football match ?france vs argentina ?haha , streets were empty here , just women were doing some glocery shopping .

    most of what you listed here (3-5: the value of money, cost of living, home ownership) is happening all over the world for regular people (people not in the position of privilege and power), but in some countries more than in other countries. i agree , but i doubt they have such an increase in prices in a very short time AND a lot of them have more freedom than ours

    It is a shame that there is no way to make it happen… they are some people who actually benefit from the regime and there are people who cant risk losing more , i dont think im in position to judge people who are not protesting , because i myself am a pessimist in this matter , nothing got better from political point of you during my life time , the new president was always worse than the last , with one exception . but in last 10 years , the economy in iran went down to hell  , the cost of living increase 20 times more expensive . i sincerely hope like anyone that someone would change , im not hopeful though.

    farnaz

    #412073
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    Dear Anita, were you watching football match? France vs Argentina? haha , streets were empty here , just women were doing some grocery shopping“- I didn’t watch the game but was aware of the Argentinian win first thing in the morning because of the news feed on the computer. As you probably know, in the US football, aka soccer here, is not as big as it is elsewhere in the world, but where I grew up it is as popular as it is where you’re at. I still remember the emptiness in the streets on Saturdays, when all you can hear was the loud GOOOOOAAAAAAL and the cheering from TVs inside homes. When you entered a home, no one would notice you unless there is a break in the game.

    I agree, but I doubt they have such an increase in prices in a very short time“- here tomatoes were sometimes one dollar a pound, but the other day, they were close to $5 a pound.. cabbage though seems to stay at a dollar a pound in some places. Maybe it’s cabbage season. 1 kilogram = 2.2 pounds. How much is a kilo of tomatoes.. and cabbage where you’re at?

    AND a lot of them have more freedom than ours“- absolutely, yes. Although if Trump (or anyone like him) gets into power again, the long-standing U.S democracy can come to an end, including the individual’s legally protected freedoms.

    There are some people who actually benefit from the regime, and there are people who can’t risk losing more… in the last 10 years, the economy in Iran went down to hell, the cost of living increased 20 times… I sincerely hope, like anyone, that someone would change, I’m not hopeful th0ugh“- I always had the tendency to be pessimistic,  but these days, it looks like my overall pessimism has a greater fit with reality, very sadly.

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 181 through 195 (of 246 total)

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