Dear Anita,

Thank you for your response, once again, truly appreciate it! I feel better about my decision.

Yes, certainly. It was a little hard at first but I am happy that I did 🙂

I hope you have a good day ahead of you!

Dear Anita,

How are you? I am always wishing you well!

Prior to starting online dating and seeing some of my friends do it, I do have some questions and I was hoping I could get some input from you:

When starting online dating are there any general rules…that would be good to keep in mind. For example, should you exchange numbers or start texting and calling on your cell number before you meet? I know some people keep calling and texting for a good few weeks before meeting in person, is that a good idea? I am living where we can meet people being socially distanced or with a mask since lockdown restrictions have eased.

Also, what is considered taking it slow when you meet someone from the app? Since both of you are looking for a relationship based on the profiles, but what would be a good amount of time before giving that title of being in a relationship? I have a friend that met someone online and after two weeks and four dates and texting non-stop,  they are now officially a couple which I find is VERY soon but I know it is different for everyone. Should you also plan dates with the person twice in one week or give it at least a week’s gap to ensure you are taking things slowly.

I  may be overthinking this but because it would be my first time I would love to get some perspective on these things.

Love,

Noor

Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for your advice, I truly value and appreciate your insights!

It is reassuring to hear the suggestions you have provided. I like the emphasis on initially treating the meetings as interviews before committing to dating and considering a lifetime relationship with anyone. I feel less anxious about trying this online dating process now and I will continuously read your input to ensure I am still on track. I definitely feel for me physical intimacy will not be with anyone until I have considered that person as someone I can have a lifetime relationship with so certainly not during the casual public place meetings.

Sending you good wishes as always!

Love,

Noor

Dear Anita,

How are you? It has certainly been a while since I last wrote. I still check Tiny Buddha occasionally and see your wonderful efforts in replying to so many people. It is uplifting, especially during what is now one year of this pandemic. And I hope things on your side of the world are slowly getting better.

My life has been nothing but a whirlwind to say the least but in the best way possible. So much has changed for me since I last wrote. I got my first job after I graduated amidst a pandemic, for which I am truly thankful. I moved out of my family home and closer to the city. And I am in a loving and healthy relationship with a person that has the kindest heart. I cannot believe how much time has changed. If you asked me last year at this time what my life would be like then I would never have predicted I would feel the happiness I feel today. Even though lockdown restrictions are still in place, I have never felt more liberated.

I truly want to thank you because you have been a support for me during all of this. I was really at my lowest point when I found comfort in this forum. And most importantly, comfort in your advice. I am so happy I decided to try online dating because I never imagined to meet such a wonderful person. Of course, it did take time as I went through the process of meeting new people and like you had mentioned, taking time to also discover myself through the whole experience. And it was all worth it. I have been in this relationship for a couple of months now, and it has been a beautiful journey by far. I am so excited to see what this new phase of life has in store for me.

Wishing you and your loved ones good health!

Looking forward to your reply.

Love,

Noor

Dear Anita,

Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind wishes!!

I so happy to hear back from you and even happier to hear that you are doing well. Staying safe and healthy.

Ah thank you! Honestly I am still learning to navigate through all these new changes and I certainly have my down days but overall I am in a better place than I have been before. And yes, your advice as well as experience with online dating was indeed very insightful as well as inspiring–so thank you.

But I want to make sure despite all of this I still make time for myself, to ensure my self-growth is constant. This can sometimes be a challenge for me as I can easily forget about my feelings. I also need to focus more on being present. So I am now making it a priority to mediate and do some yoga!

With that being said, I look forward to speaking with you again soon, Anita. Do take good care of yourself! 🙂

Love,

Noor

Dear Anita,

How are you?!

It has been another year since our last communication but I still read this forum and specially our thread from time to time. It is always great seeing your responses to others!

I find when I do have time for myself I really enjoy reading through the different perspectives on this forum, they always have good takeaways.

But how has everything been with you? I hope life post pandemic (well somewhat post pandemic) has been treating you well, sending you good wishes!

I wanted to share some news with you: I am engaged! The person I met through online dating, thanks to your help, is now my fiancé. I am so happy and so grateful. The proposal was a dream come true in Paris, and we are now planning our wedding for next year. I have mixed emotions but mostly a feeling of bliss. As the months get closer we have a lot of planning to do, especially our families are very excited and with our cultural backgrounds the events will be huge. I am also nervous for this as more pressure is building before the wedding but I’m still enjoying the process.

I think lately my biggest challenge in life is professional growth. I have thought of pursuing a PhD for awhile now but something always makes me hesitant—I am also hoping to switch to a higher professional role that focuses more on my passion—so this is where I am currently at. But for now I am focusing on the wedding and my current job to keep me sane as a lot of planning is headed my way.

It’s unbelievable for me to realize how much has changed since the first time I wrote on this forum.

Hope to hear from you again, Anita.

Take care,

Noor

To any other readers seeing this, please know that the heartbreak I did suffer from made me think I would never be in the place I am now. But I am so much happier and wiser. I am thankful for the heartbreak and I promise you will be too.