Hi Omyk

What I like about your approach to faith is that you are a man of the world. I get the feeling that you are an open person and don’t judge others struggles. You have the ability to connect with people. I think that is a beautiful approach to religion. ❤️

It is perfectly natural to have these desires and feelings. To grieve them.

Companionship is not shameful. Love and touch are not shameful. It is having a partner in life. Sharing your struggles, supporting each other. It is asking a lot of someone to demand that they go it alone. I know the idea is that you are not alone, to turn to God.

Have you ever had a massage before? I don’t mean anything dirty. But being touch starved is a thing and I seem to remember that your child is getting older, they may not as huggy. Perhaps that might be relaxing? I get the feeling that you don’t have much of a chance to be and have someone take care of you for once. I hear it can be helpful for people who are celibate.

You haven’t failed at all and your thoughts and feelings aren’t sins.

Your values, your thoughts and feelings are from the perspective of a man living in this modern world. You are not a monk living in isolation and times have changed. It may be helpful to honour your own personal values, as well as the values of your religion.

You are a spiritual leader, but still a man, still a father, still a businessman providing for his family. Trying to figure out your place in the world. Your heart is heavy and full, it not a sin to want to share it.

You don’t have to decide today, or tomorrow, or the day after, etc. When you are ready you will know.

You are perfect as you are and God loves you. ❤️🙏

I can see that you are someone who tries their best every day. Your best is always good enough.