Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Feels like Time is passing too fast
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Tee.
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October 5, 2022 at 12:10 pm #407997
AnonymousGuestDear Addy:
“I’m mostly very critical of myself and sometimes I also put that pressure to being better on my girlfriend… tell others what to do… sometimes I force them to be better“- inside you there is a figurative child and a figurative parent. The parent voice in you is strong (it’s “this critical negative voice” that you mentioned in your previous thread). It says to the child: you are not ___ enough, you need to get better at it, get better at it, NOW! And the child gets anxious and feels overwhelmed by being rushed this way, so he whines but he doesn’t say anything (no words) because he is used to not being heard.
Would you say that there is such a dynamic of voices within you? And if there is, would you like to give the child within you words so that he can clearly express himself?
anita
October 8, 2022 at 4:05 am #408099
SereneWolfParticipantDear Anita,
Well how silly of me I didn’t even knew the 2nd page is created, just today I noticed 😂
How are you doing? Good plans for the weekend? Things that you love during your weekends?About that yes! I do have that critical negative voice. but I’d say it’s dynamic because there is voice which makes me relax and resilient about things as well. As a child I’ve been like that who Always listened to my parents and Grandparents and someone who is not very demanding. I’ve sacrificed for lot of things and never asked for it. Although somehow, I knew it wouldn’t help me fulfil my emotional needs.
But don’t you think I striving for being better is a good thing? Now I do kind of feel that I’m good enough (Not sure though) But I do like to make myself better than the last day
So that’s why “child gets anxious and feels overwhelmed by being rushed this way” Interesting….PS Have a great weekend ahead
Addy
October 8, 2022 at 8:09 am #408103AnonymousGuestDear Addy:
“There is voice which makes me relax and resilient about things as well“- keep speaking to yourself in this voice.
“But don’t you think I striving for being better is a good thing?“- yes, it is a very good thing!
anita
October 11, 2022 at 9:38 am #408311SereneWolfParticipantDear Anita 🙂
How are you doing today?What do you think what’s actually happening when I’m not able to accept good compliments? It’s more like Meh for me
October 11, 2022 at 9:43 am #408312AnonymousGuestDear Addy:
Maybe you don’t feel that the compliments you receive are sincere, that is, that the person who compliments you really means it… maybe they are just polite, or maybe they fake it.. could it be?
anita
October 11, 2022 at 10:29 am #408315SereneWolfParticipantDear Anita:
Let me give you some examples:
Today in my interview Recruiter told me I’m really calm and friendly person (Somehow, I was able to accept this compliment – because I started to believe that long ago?)
But, When he said you have quite diverse and impressive work experience (I was like ooohkkyy)I don’t think that’s just to be polite is it?
Also, when some gives me any physical compliment, I can’t accept without doubting or questioning myself. Although while another part of my brain thinking like does this really matter? NOPE. most of the time
October 11, 2022 at 10:30 am #408316SereneWolfParticipantOh okay I also think I maybe doubting on my abilities even though I am good at that?
October 11, 2022 at 10:58 am #408318AnonymousGuestDear Addy:
Let’s talk a bit about your first example: “When he said you have quite diverse and impressive work experience (I was like ooohkkyy)“- do you think that you have a quite diverse and impressive work experience?
anita
October 11, 2022 at 11:15 am #408319SereneWolfParticipantDear Anita:
Diverse? Yeah I took lot responsibilities in single roles so yeah, I guess so. Impressive?? idk because I guess others could’ve done the same
October 11, 2022 at 11:28 am #408320AnonymousGuestDear Addy:
So you are not impressed with your work experience in comparison to others’ work experience. That the interview recruiter was impressed, that’s a good thing, for the purpose of being recruited. If the recruiter chooses someone else over you, it would mean that he was more impressed by someone else’s work experience than he was with yours. Do you agree?
anita
October 11, 2022 at 10:32 pm #408338SereneWolfParticipantHaha, I like that you challenge my way of thinking but yeah you do have a good point!
October 12, 2022 at 8:53 am #408357AnonymousGuestDear Addy:
You asked yesterday: “What’s actually happening when I’m not able to accept good compliments? It’s more like Meh for me“- when you receive a compliment and/ or when you are asking yourself if a compliment is true or not, try to think in a more balanced way. For example: you are told that you are attractive. Instead of thinking something like no, I am not attractive, think: I am more attractive than some men, not as attractive as other men.
Another example, a recruiter tells you that your work experience is impressive. Instead of thinking something like: there are so many people with way more impressive work experience than mine!, think: my work experience is more impressive than that of many people, not as impressive as that of many people.
anita
October 12, 2022 at 10:56 am #408368SereneWolfParticipantDear Anita!
Good morning to you 🌞
Hope you’re doing wellI understood that clearly. Thanks for such a simple and clear wisdom. I highly appreciate it.
Have a good day and don’t forget to smile :))October 12, 2022 at 11:00 am #408370AnonymousGuestDear Addy:
You are welcome and thank you for your appreciation and for wishing me a good day and a smile!
anita
October 14, 2022 at 9:56 pm #408479SereneWolfParticipantDear Anita:
Hope you’re having a good weekendSo, I’m thinking about stepping back from my LDR that I talked to you about. Because I’m constantly thinking why I should have to wait for something which have less chances and top of that suffer from intimacy and impatience instead of just have a good time with someone who’s near me?
I also ask myself is would worth the wait? and I’m in my head I’m like not really there’s lot of unexplored adventuress people that I haven’t met yet then who knows?
At the moment I’m not desperate for love either. I’m just focused more on different areas of my lifeHowever, I’m hesitating to tell her (We already not talking for 3 days – Because I said “From your side there should be some efforts to remove the distance”) Maybe stepping back and rethink this as friends is better idea?
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