Dear Xenopus Tex:

You are a hard person to convince, in my experience with you, so you have a big challenge here. If you find an answer to your own question, let me know.
anita

Its called being aware of one’s needs and balancing priorities accordingly.

Dear XenopusTex,

Time is yours already. To what and to whom you give that time to shows what is truly important to you; what you value most in your life.

~Shipp

If it’s truly important to you, you’ll make time. If it’s not, you won’t. It’s really that simple.

Dear Xenopus Tex:

Finding time is in the title of your thread. Glad you found the time to post as much as you did in the last 12 hours. Your latest posts are remarkable to me, so I wanted to take a moment and acknowledge them. Your posts have Xenopus-Tex written all over them, very authentic to you: as direct and straightforward as can be, no bones about it, no euphemism, no political correctness, no walking on eggshells or dancing around an issue; lots of common sense (that is not common); witty, intelligent, very logical, sometimes entertaining and creative, sometimes crude, but always YOU.

Here are some of the highlights for me, all from your posts of the last 12 hours:

“Unfortunately, some things simply can’t be fixed. You can’t “make” somebody love you. Love is a personal choice that an individual makes…it appears that the marriage is basically dead with whatever outward displays being the relationship equivalent of say the autonomic nervous system’s final death twitches.

People romanticize the past. Ever seen a place again that you haven’t been to in a long time? That “cozy” little studio apartment in the “historic” building on the “active” side of town turns into a cramped room in a partially collapsed building on the wrong side of the tracks when you get a chance to revisit it…People are afraid of losing what they have. They fear losing what they have more than they anticipate gaining something new.

Maybe I’m exceptionally jaded due to my line of work, but you’d be amazed at how many women come into our office and say “he’s such a great guy when he’s not drunk, high, stoned, etc…you are afraid of a fight breaking out between you two at your parent’s place. Unless your family is a collection of utter misfits, this could be a serious issues.

You can’t be everybody’s favorite person. No matter what you do, somebody won’t like you…I struggle with rejection at times too, but keep trying to remember something an acquaintance who was in sales told me: Some Will, Some Won’t, So What, Someone’s Waiting.”

Now, who is waiting for you, Xenopus Tex?

anita

Dear XenopusTex,

I previously read you ‘thoughts from a cell phone bill’ and now this one about finding time for love. I know that you are a short to the point, no BS type of person so I’d like to pose some no fluff questions for you to think about.

If you met the woman of your dreams, when would you MAKE time to be with her?
If you fell in love with this woman, would you plan a wedding around your work schedule?
What about kids? Would you be there for the birth, birthdays, little league, family vacations?

You’ve said that you want love. You also say that you can’t be without your phone in case the office needs you and that you get called into work on your time off.

You can’t be in two places at one time. If you give 100% to the job, what is left for someone else in your life?

I know your type of job is demanding, I’ve been in a similar position myself within the legal field. But something more important came into my life, my daughter. Only you can set the boundaries of work in your life. Only you can decide what is important to you. I’m sure that a professional of your level knows all about time management and prioritizing to meet your goals. You just have to decide what it is that you truly want in your life and do it. I’m sure there are people in your office that have a healthy balance between work and family life. It CAN be done, if thats what you truly want.

I would suggest that you start by retraining the office that you are not on call 24/7 and that you have a life. Make boundaries of the calls and emails you will respond to after hours and on weekends. It can be done. Start out by using the time for yourself, things you want to do. After a while, when the office has started respecting you and your boundaries.. then start looking around for someone to share your free time with.

I really hope this post doesn’t pissed you off, thats not my intention, but I really would like to see you stand up for yourself with your job and give yourself a chance to find someone to truly care for and love you.

I look forward to your thoughts on what I’ve said. I hope you read it in the spirt in which was intended.

~Shipp