i,

I’ve been feeling the worst I have ever felt in my life and wanted to reach out to see if you could help me at all.. I don’t have many to turn to. I was in a 3 year relationship with the person I thought I would marry. We hardly fought and I helped him through a hard time in his life( he was getting over a divorce). Going through a divorce is hard and He told me that there had been cheating by his ex and that how badly she treated him. He seemed very kind and genuine so I helped with whatever I could financially and as a supportive girlfriend. And although I knew he didn’t have much he helped me see the world differently through different religions mainly Hindu and yoga. I loved learning all the new things and everything seemed to workout perfect. In my eyes we were very happy throughout our relationship but one day he got a call from his ex wife saying she couldn’t take it anymore and she was giving him full custody of their son. He was so happy about this news but had to move with his mom since he had no family to help him other than myself and we worked the same shift at our jobs. His mom lives 3 hours away. We decided that we would attempt a long distance relationship. But in the months of him going back in forth getting ready for the move his seemed different distant and I confronted him about it and he said it was just stress about having his whole life turned up side down. I tried to help with the move even though I was heartbroken that he was leaving but in the 2 months he took moving he was distant while he was at his moms. He finally moved and would hardly talk to me and I was distraught. I was having such a hard time with him leaving and he seemed to be to busy and having the greatest time in Fresno. I confronted him again. And this time he said it would be best if we broke up but remained friends because he was sad how much I was hurting … I was blindsided since This was the person that was my best friend and we seemed so perfect for each other. I begged him to reconsider but he didn’t budge. Throughout the month he continued to talk to me as if nothing happened and asking me how it was going but I was so hurt I kept things short. One night he called me and we had a friendly conversation but then he calles me a few minutes it sounded as if he was crying and he was saying how much he missed me and wished he could see me .. I cried as well thinking this is the man I knew for 3 years… we made plans to see each other the coming Saturday ( phone call was on Thursday) . But Friday came and he said he was very sorry but he had to cancel because of work. I was sad but understood. That Saturday morning I got a alert from my Paypal saying I had booked an AirBNB. I downloaded the app since we had a joint account to make sure there was no fraud. He had booked an AirBNB for the same day he cancelled on me for him and his gf.. I immediately text him and asked him if he had a gf and he took a while to reply but said “I’m sorry”. I did not know how to react. I asked so many questions with hardly any answers and told him I hated him. The next days he kept trying to contact me saying it wasn’t what I thought but I did not reply. I shipped everything he had given to me to his house and did not answer his texts. I finally caved hoping it really wasn’t true but he told me he met a girl that was way out of his league and they liked the same stuff but he swore he didn’t talk to her anymore. I loved him so much I kept replying to his messages hoping there would be a way to make up. But he was so off and on and it led to anxiety and panic attacks from me where I would text “I can’t believe you would ruin what we had” and such texts during these panic attacks. He still seemed very sorry until a month ago when I found out he blocked my family from his social media and me from text messages. I did not understand what happened. I’ve spend this month trying to better myself and constantly going to the gym and yoga and constantly praying to every God, deity and saint I know that he remembers what we were and wants me back. Last night was trying to help out a coworker who also knew him with his troubles and my ex was brought up by him (he didn’t know about our relationship) and without me asking he told me that he had talked to him not long ago and my ex said he couldn’t be happier. He had found a woman ( the lady who he cheated on me with) they were together and very happy and even showed me a picture of them at a place where I took him on one of our first dates. I have been inconsolable since  he still has all of my stuff that I let him borrow including my laptop that I will be needing next month for school but now I’m not sure what to do…. I know this is very long but I really hope you read it and are able to help me… I don’t know anywhere else to go