Help. I recently got back in touch with an ex flame.

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This topic has 8 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Mark.

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May 6, 2019 at 8:09 am #292537

Oj
Participant

I got back in touch with the girl I cut contact with.

I didn’t think she would reply, but she did and it was quite long.

In it she said that all the pain and hurt had come back. That what I put her through badly affected her and still does. That she’s had issues in her relationships and she’s never quite felt the same.

She also said something that truly confused me: “I like the idea of us trying something together but I’m afraid of the result”

May 6, 2019 at 8:37 am #292559

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Oj:

Doesn’t read like a good idea, to get back together with her because of all “the pain and hurt” that affected her so badly that “she’s never quite the same”.

What pain and hurt did you cause her?

And what “issues in her relationships” has she experienced because of that pain and hurt she said you caused her, do you know?

anita

May 6, 2019 at 8:53 am #292563

Mark
Participant

Oj

You did not say why you got back in contact with her.

Mark

May 6, 2019 at 10:53 am #292585

Inky
Participant

Hi Oj,

I would tell her that you’re not that powerful.

And also, what the heck did you DO?!

Best,

Inky

May 6, 2019 at 12:51 pm #292607

Oj
Participant

Hi Inky and Mark.

I got back in touch because I still have feelings for her.

I basically decided to cut contact with her a couple weeks after we went to her prom together.

It was a stupid thing do and I’ve regretted it ever since.

May 7, 2019 at 12:46 am #292639

Thondit
Participant

Hey Oj,

As Mark! The real point we where supposed to say or ask you to!

Can you please put us on board of what you was trying to be help???? How did you hurt her? And what pain did you put her in????

Eplain it in detail to us??? What where the do’s and the don’t before in your relationship???? Put yourself into cold lake water and feed us

Greg.

May 7, 2019 at 6:40 am #292651

Valora
Participant

In addition to the questions asked by the other members… how long where you two broken up and how much time has passed since you last talked?

May 7, 2019 at 10:12 am #292697

Oj
Participant

I’ve replied to mark and inky on why I did what I did.

We we were never officially together. We had a sort of fling for four years. I did eventually end up falling for her.

May 7, 2019 at 8:36 pm #292789

Mark
Participant

Oj,

It sounds like you need to make amends first before even thinking about having a relationship with her.

She told you about her pain then and how that breakup has affected her since.

Google on how to make amends. This is Step 9 in the AA process. This is more than making an apology.

Mark
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