Hi Anita

It is interesting how time shapes us, and how the map eventually shapes what we imagine the territory to be.

I don’t view a word like “endure” as right or wrong, yet when I notice it in myself, I often notice a companion arriving with it: tension. A subtle resistance to what is. That tension is not necessarily a problem. Sometimes it creates awareness; sometimes it creates stress. The difference may lie in whether I notice it or become identified with it. Perhaps that is why I have become so interested in words. Each one carries a history and shapes perception. Sometimes, by noticing a word, I catch a glimpse of the map it has quietly been drawing.

Your story about holding your breath for all those years left me wondering if our words sometimes carry the memory of how we learned to survive. By coincidence, today’s Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) meditation revolved around this quote from James Finley:

“Those who bless the world in the lifelong process of learning to ripen are those who have mastered the art of sustained effort, infused with a surrender to hidden sources of grace.” — James Finley

Ordinarily, we imagine effort and surrender as opposites. Yet much of life seems to require both. A gardener tends the soil, waters the plants, and pulls the weeds, but no gardener can force a seed to germinate. The flowering arrives as grace. Likewise, a musician practices scales for years, a writer shows up every morning, and a contemplative returns again and again to silence. The effort is necessary, but the breakthrough arrives unbidden.

As I read your reflections, I found myself thinking about your enduring and my noticing. Neither standing alone seems sufficient. Enduring without surrender risks becoming grim determination. Surrender without enduring risks becoming avoidance. Together, however, they become something else: a willingness to remain present while releasing control over what happens next.

Perhaps that is what touches me most in your writing. Not the map, but the image of breathing. Sixty years later, the little girl who was holding her breath is still teaching the woman how to exhale.

Thank you for sharing that with me. ( I will be offline for a while)

Hello The Meditator 🙂

I hope to read from you again, here this thread, or in a new thread you may wish to start 🙏

Anita