Hey Confused:

You are very welcome 🙏 I am glad 😊 reading from you this Sun evening (here).

I understand that you don’t see a connection between your mother and your romantic partners. I don’t see a connection either. The connection I see 👀 is in between your reactions to your mother AND your reactions to your partners, or maybe better say the emotional dynamics:

Craving closeness, fearing closeness; giving more than receiving, and like you just wrote, seeking chaos because.. you tell me, if you will (because I’m a bit confused right now ☺️

🤍 Anita

The fearing closeness point- her writing you a poem comes to mind, expressing feeling close to you, and best I remember, that scared you and was part of what led you to “suddenly fell out of love” experience (the title of this thread) no?

👀

Hmm… “have to”, feeling an obligation, a responsibility is.. what’s the words, it 🤔 rains on the parade of love and spontaneity. It’s no longer fun and open. It’s a JOB. ??

Exactly, that’s how my mind started perceiving our connection after that moment, like an obligation. I know it could be because of emotional burnout but idk for sure yet.
I think i started feeling like i am responsible for her feelings after that and it pushed me away.

And this role reversal happens when a child has to.. parent the parent because the parent is a child who’se out of control (my experience )

Thats how i felt like and i dont understand why. The truth is, i did feel like she leaned heavily on me regarding her well-being at times, like she depends on me for her happiness and everyday mood, we became too codependant/enmeshed? what is the word i am not sure.

We are the same age yeah..I have the same experience as you..