Hey anita

Yeah i don’t like how numb it makes me so i stopped taking it..should i tell the doctor? idk

Same goes for you, anita, you seem like a really nice person, always willing to help.. I am looking forward to that too, thank you 🙂

Oh is it possible that you report your own posts by accident on your phone? Maybe that’s the case..

Today we texted with the girl and she said she is getting disappointed by this situation between us and perhaps it would be best if we end it because it affects her aswell. I told her i completely understand but i can’t let her go, can’t give her the “before” (pre-confusion) part either. She said she will think about things and we’ll talk again. Today i feel a deep void in my chest-throat and the thought of her makes me cry so much. What is happening with me? The thought of me letting her go feels very bad like i’m gonna lose “my person” but i can’t give her what she deserves either, it’s very difficult 🙁

Haha u gotta be more careful now!

I think i am kind/loving, as much as i can be, but now i feel like something is lacking from within me and idk what it is..

What are u thinking?

Yeah i feel bad but what do i feel bad for? The NRE (new relationship energy) or the person itself? Maybe i do have feelings but i miss the infatuation?

He seemed like he knew his things when he was talking to me because he described many things about me that i didn’t tell him.
I am still confused 🙁

About fish 🐟 oil, I am serious about it- it made a huge difference to me mentally. It’s brain- food.

I eat a can of sardines (high quality) in olive 🫒 oil each and every day.

Try it, you don’t need a prescription for it.

🫒🐟🧠 Anita

Now that i think of her/us, it kinda feels like it’s a “strange situation” to me, like i don’t even know her. Maybe that’s the DP/DR at play that the doctor was talking about?

It’s a very strange feeling because we shared a year of our everyday lives (even if it was online) and it hurts!

How can i know if it’s F for me? (even though i had the dreams/flashbacks)

I am fine with it, i make peace with death pretty quickly. She died of cancer (well, the chemos wore her down). I took it well because i was with her most of the days and i saw where this was going, so i “prepared” myself better than the rest of the family, i was the one that found her not breathing. Well, i don’t feel like i had a strong bond with her, i was pretty much disconnected from my parents since the age of 13 i think. I still cried and mourned, at my own pace though.

Oh, dear Confused (I feel close to you as I read your words this Sun night 🌙, here).

You say you were disconnected from your mother/ parents since you were 23. But before 13, those 13 years of connection did not disappear.

The feeling of not knowing the person you felt close to before (coming to think about it, it’s like- at 13- not knowing your mother anymore, no longer feeling close to her.)

From my experience, it took me Reconnecting to the real life (childhood) experience (which I did my best to disconnect from).

Since I reconnected, got to feel what I did my best not to feel (love for my mother), my feelings for others are quite consistent.

So, yea, the feeling of not knowing those I felt close to before.. yes, it did go away.

😕🤔😳😢😠😔💤 Anita

Just in case you answer soon, I’ll be back to the 📱 or 🖥 Mon morning (it’s Sun night here) 🌙