Hey Confused:

“But how can it happen in a day? What can trigger it?”- I don’t know. But whatever happened (I am thinking) was not unnatural, and it made sense in an emotional sense.

Somehow, it’s what you needed right there and then, is what I think.

“Did you do that through therapy? U were suppressing love? (don’t answer if u don’t feel like it)”- thank you!

Things started with therapy, yes. And yes, I did suppress love and other emotions.

In regard to my mother, I experienced her as a threat, so I felt angry at her and wasn’t even aware that I ever loved her until recently. For most of my life, I wasn’t able to feel both love for her and anger at her. Recently, I am able to feel both.

🤍🌿 🤍⭐ Anita

Hey Confused: I’ll reply in a few hours

I think i tried sometimes to express love towards her when i was a kid (6-10) but she would rarely reciprocate and sometimes she would get suspicious of me that i did something wrong or wanted to ask for favors. She also apologized/hugged me sometimes after hitting me.

No no i mean your feelings in general (i thought u didnt have feelings for anyone mostly)

“Oh, that emotional attachment felt like starving for oxygen, and she- my mother- was the oxygen. Separation from her was unthinkable, like a certain death.”
maybe this is how im feeling/felt for this girl too.

No no it’s fine for me to read. So with cbt-mindfulness u achieved the unlocking of your feelings? Interesting

Hey anita

Oh u mean someone asking how u feel for real?

Damn, mine could be too, even tho i can only feel deep sadness in waves, now that the girl is fed up with me and she is considering leaving because it’s hurting her too, i cried a lot.

Yeah pretty much, she did show love but not consistantly.. Idk really, havent thought about it, i think kinda made me feel like an exile of some sort?

Oh so all it took was someone to listen to you.. Idk if that would be the same for me

Hmm, that i dont “belong” with her or in the family, something like that, but it was confusing and disappointing too.

Idk i guess that’s the only feeling i got from it..

To be a member of the family

How can they be addressed? It seems very weird to me, this whole thing..

The psychotherapist that i am visiting is pretty young but she insists that all the things that im going through right now are related to my parents/mother.

Hey Dear Confused:

As a non professional, I agree with your 26-year-old therapist who told you that’s what you’re going through is (likely) related to your childhood experience with your mother/ parents.

You say though that “she insists” that it is so. Well, that insistence is a form of forcefulness. I mean, you need a safe space within therapy to explore things with no pressure.

There is a chance that things other than your childhood are involved.

You felt that your “feelings were locked 🔒 away in a box 📦 “, and she asked what you’re protecting your feelings from?

I don’t understand her question. I am confused 😕 . Do you understand her question? Did you answer it?

😕🤔🔒📦👀🧠 Anita