I didn’t mean that she is forcing it, it’s rather that she stays firm on her belief that all this comes mostly from childhood stuff. The other time she told me “well, is it a coincidence that you were longing for what you never saw in your parents (a love story/romance), and when u got it, u didnt know what to do with it?”

She said “well, could be that your feelings got locked there to be protected from something, what could it be?” And i couldnt think of anything other than “not losing them”, but she asked me to take time to answer it.

Talking about my childhood, my programming: I grew up with an explosive mother who showed affection in-between acts of aggression (beating me, shaming me, using words to hurt me)

Fast forward, if someone showed me consistent affection, I would have been, uncomfortable, like where’s the next aggression.. what’s wrong?

Because what we grow up becomes “normal”, and something very different- however positive- feels abnormal, like there’s something wrong.

Children normalize what they grow up with.