Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→I want to be normal
- This topic has 266 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
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January 10, 2022 at 6:39 pm #391093AnonymousInactive
shortly “said”
“”Release tension and adherence and resistence to the NORM,leave room for the impossible.””
January 10, 2022 at 10:07 pm #391095samyParticipantGlad to know I made your day, anita 🙂
- This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by samy.
January 10, 2022 at 10:13 pm #391097samyParticipantHi creation impeccability,
Are you saying we shouldn’t think about what is normal? You said release adherence and resistance to the norm? Aren’t they opposites? I thought you were telling me to resist the norm. You might be conveying something deep, but English isn’t my first language, so I am really confused by that. I’m sorry.
January 11, 2022 at 3:51 am #391099AnonymousInactiveplease excuse my open-mindedness. I write it as it is. Since my childhood i have deliberately and consciously never participated in all these normal world seductions and normal world destruction rage and in making human evil-delicious. NORMALNESS. Consciously live on the bare minimum and am satisfied with my seven things. Consciously own next to nothing, only consciously the most necessary, bread and water and a roof over my head, my drum set and my pc … my sick life partner whom I care for. Conscious of everything since my childhood. Consciously and deliberately never take part in malevolences. I am innocent.
Always in the service of the maintenance of the impeccability of creation.
by the way, i am as well a part of the dear beloving impeccability of creation which myself loves and protects and maintains. Even if delegations of enemies of life and delegations of malevolences tries to seduce me . Each malevolent seducer fails miserably. no chance.Never participated in cars. and weapons. and gold gaining and fears
I AM Anti normal insane madness. I AM Anti normal car driving and refuelling at the petrol station and causing normal oil drill and causing microplastic (nanoplastic pikoplastic) due to abrasion of car tires (hundret of billions doing this every day). And and and and and other normailties.
And i have no feel like arguing. language is not an excuse
here you have it
January 11, 2022 at 4:09 am #391100AnonymousInactiveperception determines the truth. samy
but from where derives perception.
1. self determines environment (inner or outer environment). 2. environment determines perception.
3. perception determines the truth.
4. truth determines life . 5. life determines ascend or descend of self . and starts from self .
all depends on self. all is in the self . self is not found outside.
see from where to where derives perception.
i prefer to rely on inner environment. this also derives from somewhere… but later to this topic…
January 11, 2022 at 5:08 am #391159samyParticipantHi creation impeccability
Thanks for elaborating. I understood you correctly the first time. Language was not an excuse, I don’t really need an excuse here. Nor am I trying to argue.
I appreciate your perception of your life and the way you are living. You seem to have discovered and truly felt a deeper truth. I am yet to feel or experience that in my life.
I’ll pray for your life partner and you.
Samy
January 12, 2022 at 9:08 am #391197samyParticipantWhat if this moment is too painful. I know there is work to be done, to change myself and the situation around. But, right now it’s too painful. I don’t want to live right now. I don’t want to go through tomorrow. I don’t want to be who I am in the situations I’m in. I want a break from this.
January 12, 2022 at 9:50 am #391200AnonymousGuestDear Girija:
Well, I’ve been following your communication on the other thread in regard to Dukkha, Anicca and Annata, let’s use it in regard to your recent post:
“I don’t want to live right now” -it’s okay to feel what you feel, but notice: feelings are not solid, they are not permanent… let them flow through you, in and out. Don’t get stuck in this or that feeling. Don’t get attached to any particular feeling, be it joy or sorrow. Peel off fear from this feeling, and any other. Hush the fear, Girija, hush….
“I don’t want to be who I am in the situations I’m in” – it’s okay to not want to be you, and to not want to be in the situations you are in. Over time, you will change some things about yourself and about the situations you are in. But for now, lessen your attachment to these wants (or non-wants). Take a slow, deep breath and let go of the intensity of these wants, hush these wants…
“I want a break from this” – Your face, your body, your thoughts, perceptions, sensations, feelings- all these will get their final break. It is a certainty. Take comfort in this certainty, and don’t rush it. Take a walk outside and as you walk, notice your breath: in and out, the breath of life, for now.
anita
January 12, 2022 at 10:39 pm #391219samyParticipantHi anita
What you’ve written helps me. But there are certain things I am confused about, on how I can apply these principles to my life. I’m wondering, what is attachment –
Don’t get attached to any particular feeling, be it joy or sorrow. Peel off fear from this – is spirituality ( wrt to dukkha, annata and annica) about accepting everything. If I am suffering because of a situation, is wanting something else not considered spiritual? Aren’t there situations worse than mine, with abuse, with torture – is wanting to change that wrong? I am confused about action. Is taking action against something that is – wrong? When do I know I should act vs accept?
Your face, your body, your thoughts, perceptions, sensations, feelings- all these will get their final break. It is a certainty. Take comfort in this certainty – the break I want is not from any of these. Feelings yes, but only in the context of my experience. I want my experience in this moment to be a little better. The final break gives me no comfort. I want to have a better experience before that final break. I will lessen my attachment to these wants as you’ve said. I understand I can change my experience. But the present is hard. But, I can apply this now – Don’t get attached to any particular feeling, be it joy or sorrow. Peel off fear from this feeling, and any other. Hush the fear, Girija, hush….
Girija
January 13, 2022 at 9:00 am #391239AnonymousGuestDear Girija (samy):
“If I am suffering because of a situation, is wanting something else not considered spiritual?” -wanting to not suffer is natural. Moving away from a source of pain, is a natural animal instinct aimed at survival. If you accidently touch a hot stove (a painful situation), you instinctively move your hand away from the hot stove, before you are even aware of the situation. The brain instinctively labels this situation as bad/ dangerous, and it acts swiftly, for the purpose of surviving it.
“Aren’t there situations worse than mine, with abuse, with torture – is wanting to change that wrong?” – no, it is not wrong, just as removing your hand from a hot stove is not wrong.
It is not wrong to want to change (and to act so to change) a painful, dangerous situation. If a person is tortured in any way, mentally or physically, of course it is right to want to (and to act to) change the situation, ex., by escaping, if possible.
On the other hand, let’s say you are in a situation I was in for over two weeks recently: I was stuck at home because of very heavy, deep snow, unable to leave the house to buy new groceries, socialize etc. My brain naturally and instinctively labeled this situation as bad/ dangerous, but I was not able to change the situation. Anxiously and at times feeling depressed, I watched the snow and icicles hanging from the roof melt bit by bit by bit by bit… by bit. But I wanted the snow and ice to be gone quicker than that!!! … But I couldn’t make it happen.
In this situation, wanting a different, better situation (no snow) was useless and painful because when you focus on what you can’t change, anxiously waiting for it to change, it feels like you are stuck in time, feels like time is not moving forward. Better to accept a situation like this best you can, lessen that want, and focus on other things, feels like time is moving forward faster this way, way less anxiety and suffering.
“I am confused about action. Is taking action against something that is – wrong? When do I know I should act vs accept?” – the serenity prayer says in part: “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference“. Substitute situations for “things” and you have your answer.
“The break I want is… from… Feelings… The final break gives me no comfort. I want to have a better experience before that final break” – practicing what I italicized right above will lessen your suffering and give you comfort. The serenity to accept unwanted situations that you cannot change, is about detaching yourself, best you can, from wanting a different situation, to hush that want.
I will give you a practical example of how to detach from a situation/ how to temper feelings regarding a situation that I cannot change, taken from my life right now: I am looking at the outside through glass doors, 18 days after the snow started falling and a week or so of melting with no new snow. All that’s left is just a bit of snow that fell off from the roof. I don’t want to get all excited and joyful as if life is all good forevermore, as if never again will I get trapped in snow. So, I am saying to myself: it’s nice right now, there is no snow today. My joy is tempered, and when it does snow again, I will feel less anxious and not at all disappointed because I expected it to happen. Less joy now, less anxiety and disappointment in the future, in regard to snow.
“But I can apply this now – Don’t get attached to any particular feeling, be it joy or sorrow. Peel off fear from this feeling, and any other. Hush the fear, Girija, hush….“- apply it repeatedly, every time you notice a feeling, any feeling, and let me know how it goes, will you?
anita
- This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by .
- This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by .
January 13, 2022 at 9:15 am #391243samyParticipantHi anita
Your explanation makes sense, but I am not sure how to express my confusion. So, I will let it go for now. Serenity – feeling balanced, so in this case, making sense of things from a balanced place, so the thought process is clear and I can let go of things.
Will I feel better if I let things go? They always come back. Take comfort in that it will pass? I suppose holding on to things doesn’t help either, so let it go? The confusion starts again.
My joy is tempered, and when it does snow again, I will feel less anxious and not at all disappointed because I expected it to happen. Less joy now, less anxiety and disappointment in the future, in regard to snow. – I used to be like this. But for me, this was fear based. Fear of being sad again, so holding back on fully feeling joy.
apply it repeatedly, every time you notice a feeling, any feeling, and let me know how it goes, will you? – I will.
January 13, 2022 at 9:32 am #391245AnonymousGuestDear Girija:
It took me over an hour and a half to put together my last post for you. It then took you 15 minutes to submit your reply. If you want to benefit from my most recent post to you (and other posts), you have to give it more time, to take more time reading it and letting ideas and suggestions slowly sink in before you reply. A rushing brain cannot be mindful!
anita
January 13, 2022 at 9:42 am #391248samyParticipantHi anita
Thank you for giving me so much of your time. I’ll slow down.
January 13, 2022 at 9:57 am #391251AnonymousGuestYou are welcome, Girija. Slow down and get back to me later!
anita
January 14, 2022 at 11:22 pm #391319samyParticipantHi anita
I read you last post again. I get it. I think I practiced it, but would love to know if what I did was right. Let me know if you are okay with that
Girija
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