Home→Forums→Tough Times→Intrusive and Anxious Thoughts
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February 20, 2024 at 2:23 pm #427979kshiti1502Participant
Dear Anita,
- Thanks very much for your truly insightful answer. Ever since that situation happened, I am trying to develop better perspectives and inculcate these values. The serenity prayer is definitely helpful, and to be honest I tried something like this in that situation only to fail in keeping it. I am trying my best to accept all things in my life through a more neutral perspective. Thinking about a purpose is empowering, and I did this activity once after coming to my university. It helped. I will try to hold on to these perspectives to develop a better vision towards life.
- About intrusive and self consuming anxious thoughts, what should I do to deal with them in a better way? I did some re online and I could relate with a few of the symptoms listed one some reliable websites. Please advise.
- Thank yo
February 20, 2024 at 2:24 pm #427980kshiti1502ParticipantDear Anita,
- Thanks very much for your truly insightful answer. Ever since that situation happened, I am trying to develop better perspectives and inculcate these values. The serenity prayer is definitely helpful, and to be honest I tried something like this in that situation only to fail in keeping it. I am trying my best to accept all things in my life through a more neutral perspective. Thinking about a purpose is empowering, and I did this activity once after coming to my university. It helped. I will try to hold on to these perspectives to develop a better vision towards life.
- About intrusive and self consuming anxious thoughts, what should I do to deal with them in a better way? I did some re online and I could relate with a few of the symptoms listed one some reliable websites. Please advise.
- Thank yo
February 20, 2024 at 2:29 pm #427982kshiti1502ParticipantDear Tommy
Thank you for understanding the situation in an apt manner. That’s why I don’t want to let these thoughts consume myself, and even though I am trying to release the what if thoughts, it’s happening easily. I meditate every day and maintain a gratitude journal, which help me to a great extent. What mindfulness techniques do you think can be useful when I begin to spiral in my intrusive thoughts.
Thanks
February 20, 2024 at 2:33 pm #427983anitaParticipantDear Kshiti:
You are very welcome. I’ll reply to you further (including in regard to intrusive thoughts) Wed morning (it is Tues afternoon here, U.S.).
anita
February 21, 2024 at 9:25 am #428006anitaParticipantDear Kshiti:
“I tried something like this in that situation only to fail in keeping it“- there is a saying, if it works, keep working it, so if the Serenity Prayer works for you, repeat it, keep doing what helped before (but don’t expect it to help every single time).
“I am trying my best to accept all things in my life through a more neutral perspective“- there is a term, Radical Acceptance, which means to completely, radically accept (what we cannot change).
“Thinking about a purpose is empowering, and I did this activity once after coming to my university. It helped“- keep going back to this exercise, edit it, develop it, make it more and more true to you.
“About intrusive and self consuming anxious thoughts, what should I do to deal with them in a better way?“- first, understand the nature of thoughts: these are temporary events in the brain, nothing dangerous. If you are walking in nature and come across a mountain lion, that’s dangerous. Thoughts are not.
If you try to block thoughts, they will intrude on you, insisting to be there (aka intrusive thoughts). Don’t be scared of thoughts, don’t try to fight/ block them. Instead, when a distressing thought occurs, say: oh, this is just a thought, and gently direct your attention elsewhere.
You can apply the NPARR strategy that I use every day for various distresses: Notice (in this case, that a distressing thought occurred to you), Pause (the repetition of the thought, rumination), Address (the situation, saying to yourself something like: this is a distressing thought. It is not dangerous. I am not in danger because of this thought. Thoughts are temporary events in my brain, they are not permanent), Respond (say or do something about it.. maybe in this case, journal the thought in a Thought Journal.. not sure), and lastly, and very importantly, Redirect (your attention elsewhere: a walk outdoors, a hot bath, a cold shower, a task like doing dishes, listening to music, etc.)
anita
February 23, 2024 at 9:55 am #428092kshiti1502ParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you very much and sorry for my late reply. I did try the NPARR strategy today itself when I was having some intrusive thoughts, and it did help !
I am also trying to keep on reminding myself that these are just thoughts and not a real danger and as it is said, thoughts can be changed. I am also trying to understand my thinking pattern more, and what is the root emotional or mental pattern that it makes me aso anxious.
Regarding radical acceptance, I don’t know why but it makes me feel anxious to think about the idea of acceptance. Most of the times when I think about accepting things and letting them go, my anxiety grapples me back and it becomes more difficult. Any suggestions?
Thank you very much
February 23, 2024 at 11:21 am #428100anitaParticipantDear Kshiti:
You are very welcome! I am glad the NPARR strategy worked for you.
“Regarding radical acceptance, I don’t know why but it makes me feel anxious to think about the idea of acceptance. Most of the times when I think about accepting things and letting them go, my anxiety grapples me back and it becomes more difficult. Any suggestions?“-
– when you think about accepting negative circumstances that you can’t change/ can’t control (current or future), it scares you because of the feeling of having no control.. right?
If this is what it is about, the only suggestion I have is to focus in your every day life on what you can control, and practice your control. The more you practice control over your circumstances/ life, the less afraid you will be of having no control over what you can’t control. I remember a couple of years ago, I was folding laundry and felt anxious because my mother folded clothes perfectly, and I didn’t. It then occurred to me: wait a minute, I can fold my clothes any way I want to. I don’t have to fold clothes my mother’s way! And I have been okay with how I fold clothes ever since.
In your life, Kshiti, find opportunities- be as small as the one I just described- to choose your own ways of doing things and be okay with your chosen ways. This is a beginning of exercising control over your life and feeling okay about it.
anita
February 24, 2024 at 6:32 am #428124RobertaParticipantDear Kshitl
Ages ago I read a book called feeding your demons by Tslutrim Allione. It may help you have a more positive relationship with your anxiety.
February 26, 2024 at 12:47 pm #428162kshiti1502ParticipantDear Anita,
Thanks very much. Sorry for my late reply, not too well from the past few days. Yes, I think it makes me anxious because I feel a lack of control that scares me about how things will go. I will try to find things in my day to day life that I can control, and finding a way to do them in my own way. But, sometimes especially during that period, it all felt insignificant in front of the circumstances that were sort of out of my hand. What to do about this thought?
Thanks
February 26, 2024 at 12:48 pm #428163kshiti1502ParticipantDear Roberta,
Thanks for suggesting me the book. I will definitely go through it and take valuable lessons from it.
Thanks
February 26, 2024 at 1:25 pm #428164anitaParticipantDear Kshiti:
You are welcome, and no need to worry about when you reply: no such thing as a late reply here, as far as I am concerned!
“Sometimes, especially during that period, it all felt insignificant (compared to) the circumstances that were sort of out of my hand. What to do about this thought?“- the daily practice of emotion regulation skills (you can research this term, there are books and workbooks on the topic) will help lessen your daily anxiety, and make it possible for you to focus on the small but significant steps you need to take toward healing.
There is no such thing as one giant- step solution to “Intrusive and Anxious Thoughts” (the title of your thread). It takes many small steps day in and day out, steps taken patiently, over the long-run, one day at a time.
anita
February 28, 2024 at 2:51 pm #428236kshiti1502ParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you very much for your suggestion. I will look into emotion regulation workbooks any particular one that you would suggest?
I remember you telling me about finding purpose in a previous thread. In the past few months, I have tried to align myself with my true values and goals, and would like to have your advise over how to develop these patterns along with that of purpose.
Thanks
February 28, 2024 at 4:00 pm #428237anitaParticipantDear Kshiti:
You are very welcome! I don’t have a particular emotion regulation workbook in mind. I just googled and this book seems, by its title, promising. It’s called “The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook“. It includes not only emotion regulations exercises but also mindfulness and interpersonal effectiveness exercises.
“I have tried to align myself with my true values and goals, and would like to have your advice over how to develop these patterns along with that of purpose“- are you looking for advice on how to actualize (to put into practice) your true values and goals? If so, would you like to share about your true values and goals?
anita
March 6, 2024 at 4:53 pm #428448anitaParticipantHow are you, Kshiti?
anita
March 7, 2024 at 6:16 am #428452kshiti1502ParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you very much for sharing the workbook with me. Sorry for not replying earlier, my term is approaching it’s end so was kind of jam-packed.
Will it be okay if I share my values and goals as mentioned in the earlier thread in a couple of days ?
Regards
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