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Is He the One?

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  • #87965
    Glenda
    Participant

    I go to Church every Sunday and am quite involved in weekly activities as well. Over the past year or so I have come to know our pastor quite well. He’s a few years younger than me. I’m 35.But we chat and share a laugh quite often. I have become responsible for helping him organise church prayer groups and outreach where we go into the streets spreading the Good News to those in need.
    Over the last month, I have been to the movies once and dined at a restaurant with him. We had an absolute ball and I feel we are fast becoming soulmates. It is like we are on the same wavelength, the same journey. But…
    I’ve been in a relationship with a guy now for 10 years. He works as a funeral director’s assistant. I’m tired of him and we hardly communicate anymore. He would be shocked if I said I wanted out as he worships me. Our physical relationship has been non-existent for the last year or so but he’s so busy with his work, he has never complained about us.
    I’ve almost made the decision. The pastor is single and I think he will welcome me with open arms.
    Am I making the right decision?

    #87966
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Glenda,

    This is what I would do rightly or wrongly ~ all’s fair in love and war, after all!…

    You had some great times with the young pastor, and you would be the perfect pastor’s wife, honestly, BUT…

    You are having fantasies about dumping your nice long term boyfriend…

    AND the pastor VERY POSSIBLY may just think he’s had a nice dinner and a movie with a congregant. And that’s all.

    What could be more alluring than a single handsome pastor? They wouldn’t have picked him for the church unless he was good with people. There were probably at least 10-12 other people applying for the job. Meaning, he may have charisma, but for all you know he is having dinner and a movie (discreetly of course) with several other people ~ casually (in his mind).

    I’m saying don’t throw away a ten year relationship UNLESS you were going to do that anyway.

    Of course, if the pastor asks if you want to date exclusively I would then say go for it!

    And I don’t know about your church but it’s frowned upon where we are to date a congregant. Clergy usually go outside of their congregation to date.

    Best,

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Inky.
    • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Inky.
    #87977
    anita
    Participant

    * Inky: and you thought Glenda was a troll….No longer thinking so?

    Dear Glenda:

    Being the passionate Christian that you are, you are living with a man who is not your husband for ten years? Nine of which you were having sex outside of marriage…?

    You went out with your pastor, that is your pastor went out on a date with a woman who is living (in sin) with another man?

    Can you clarify this: how do these things go together in your mind?

    anita

    #87980
    Inky
    Participant

    I admit it, I did think Glenda was a troll in a past post. Or at least acting like one!

    See the difference? Here she is being her true self, and not just religious sound bites. There is a real person here. I can see and feel her authentic spiritual life in this one. Now, if we fill up threads like this ~ life in the church, questions about Christian life/lifestyle, personal experiences ~ now THAT is what can lead people in!

    Yes, living with someone does seem incongruous with religious life. But she is mostly walking the talk. And hey! No one’s perfect! When she does live on her own she will see a tremendous leveling up spiritually. And will gain clarity. Protect your heart, yes, but don’t keep it locked in a prison! I say this is what dating is for! If you seriously want to date your pastor, Glenda, it would be best if you change congregations so there is no conflict of interest on his part.

    #87983
    anita
    Participant

    * Inky, my hat is off to you.

    #87991
    jock
    Participant

    What could be more alluring than a single handsome pastor?

    An old, washed-up, overweight, barely employable Aussie? 🙂

    Getting back to Glenda. One minute she’s threatening eternal damnation, next she wants our sympathy, empathy and advice.
    Glenda, you seem closer to God than us. Why don’t you ask him?

    #87994
    lovelimess
    Participant

    HAHHA
    so funny when people claim to be close to God and spend their lives judging and shaming people.
    Or my favorite, trying to create worry and fear.
    Didn’t he say “Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything”?
    And then he sends his “servants” to create worry and fear?
    Doesn’t make sense… God must be a nickname. John Gotti perhaps.
    Gotta go, watching a Dateline special about Organized Crime.

    #87997
    jock
    Participant

    But she’s a troll anyway, is what I forgot to say.

    #88002
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Reader:

    It is now a question in more than one mind on this forum: is Glenda real? Is she representing herself sincerely or is she making stuff up?

    First, I am more intelligent in some areas than some, not as intelligent as others. In some areas I am quite challenged and in other areas I excel. Having stated that, this is my input about whether Glenda is sincere or making stuff up:

    Glenda seems to have a short memory, asking for advice in the same forum where she declared all to be sinners and wrong. If all who are not Christians WRONG and misguided, or guided by the devil, then why is Glenda asking advice on this forum? What is she doing on a Buddhist looking forum?

    On the other hand, she is consistent with her story about the guy she is living with for ten years, consistent over time in various posts.

    Then she posts and disappears, not replying to an old thread but starting a new one and ….

    Glenda, are you there? Can you help me, those who are puzzled by you and doubt you are sincere? Help us?

    And if anyone has input, please post.

    anita

    #88003
    anita
    Participant

    Oh about the intelligence thing, I forgot what I was going to say: Glenda may be very unintelligent if she is sincere as well as having a short memory.

    anita

    #88007
    TriangleSun
    Participant

    Nothing quite like dating a pastor who knows you’re cheating on your boyfriend. Maybe you should go spread some of that gospel on the streets some more.

    #88026
    Glenda
    Participant

    Inky
    I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for providing compassion when I most needed it. God bless you.
    I’m now having second thoughts about exiting my current relationship. As you said, I may have misinterpreted the pastor’s friendliness as something more than it actually is. I’ll wait and see if anything develops. Hopefully it does.

    Other Readers
    I don’t feel a need to address the troll accusation as I have a lot more important things on my mind at present. Anyway, best wishes to you all and sorry, I may have been overly zealous in my other thread. So I apologise for that.

    #88034
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Glenda/ Readers:

    What a reasonable sounding kind of post from Glenda, this last one above. How puzzling to me when considering other posts before it. I still do not know if you are sincere in your posts, Glenda. They are too strange for me to understand in total, so I am going to leave you alone now, to let you be and let others who so choose to respond to your threads and comments. I, me and myself will no longer respond to anything you post, because i doubt you are sincere. You may be but I give up trying to figure it out. I wish you well, Glenda.

    anita

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