Yeah she was saying something similar (the busy part). Maybe next time i’ll do another phone call from my work while I am on break and after try for our first facetime?

Naw I wont be angry she did not call earlier because I will feel happy she just called me. She did a few times in the past in 2017 but that was it unless it was accidental but she doesn’t hang up because she says everything happens for a reason. But when she called I sometimes would just look at the phone not wanting to answer it, I felt weird.

I think once a week is too much for us lol, I think every 3-4 weeks is fine. I dunno what we would talk about every week, unless I did what we talked about with the breathing and cold showers, she’s really into that stuff (I liked it before she started doing it and liking it even if I didn’t do it often), anyway I need a nap. Also I am pretty sure I am her only friend that calls her after her guy, mother, daughters. Been 3+ years we have been talking for, since page 21.

Btw she’s living a minimilist life, tiny yard with a 1 room house (half the size of a tiny house or smaller depending on the size), the yurt beside it, garden and that’s her yard, so she’s living her dream of a garden and living a minimilist life like she said over a year ago on the phone when I told you she was in a bath talking to me and I asked her a series of questions for the first time to understand her better, which didn’t go very far afterwards. She’s in the garden all day making it plus working on that yurt and spending quality time with her daughter. No idea what dry brushing is, i’ll post again sometime. I should probably really work on myself…breathing,  meditation for my thoughts, cold showers etc.

Be well Anita.

BTW when I told her that I really like talking to her she had a pause like she was soaking it in and  going “awwww” and said she really likes talking to me as well, felt that vibe from her pause and how she sounded after which you can’t get from a text. I messaged her if we could facetime due to not being able to hangout and she said sure but maybe in a few weeks, but it wont be for atleast a month, after our next phonecall in a few weeks. Took her nearly 2 days to respond back lol. :/

I am bumping this because I wanna hear your opinion on this…I really wanna have longer phone calls with her like we used to, we talked for like 45 minutes to an hour and I really want longer then 14 minute calls all the time. Should I ask her if we can talk longer? that I miss our longer calls and they feel so little now. If you say yes should I ask her other things instead of the same old same old? I really need to start asserting myself more or I  will keep getting the same old same old that I don’t want. Not every talk should be long if she’s busy obviously, maybe night calls would be better suited for longer calls.

I’ll call her when her guy goes back to work so she can see him without me phoning and bugging her, after i’ll say “Can I call you tomorrow? I wanna ask you something” that way it gives me another day to talk to her, then I will ask if we can have longer phone calls that I miss those days. I dunno what I am gonna talk about, maybe about her life? you got any ideas?

I was looking at our old convos and they really were longish, some over an hour long…forget what we talked about and I am definatly more talkative now, I am always talking back keeping things from going awkward like before and it flows effortlessly now a days.

Alright I will do it. We will talk when her guy leaves at my work so she can say hey to people like last summer, after when we hang up I will ask if I can call her tomorrow that I got something I wanna ask her more privately. I know how she  sounds when she takes things in and is about to say “awww”, so I can tell the vibe of her pretty easily, also I have seen her soak things in when I have told her stuff in person.

I really just wish I had backbone and ended things in August when I requested a break, I really don’t even know who she is anymore. I REALLY miss the old her, I look back on my old phone to our old text conversations over the months in that amazing summer when we bonded and when we got close again. I felt like I had an amazing friend and I was SO lucky to have her in my life. We would text back and fourth quite often (despite what she told me on the phone LOL), always felt pumped from the calls, always felt amazing after the hangouts especially the coffee and the walk to the bench opening up one I talked about, it had such a POWERFUL effect on me.

Now?

Anytime I text her half the time she ignores my text (including today), or drops me a line and that’s it…calls are SO short and it seems pointless, never wants to hang out and now we can’t for a few years but she still hangs around her other friends and already told me last year she’s too busy to hang around me for the rest of the year but a week later hangs around other friends yet still fills my head with “I still wanna keep in touch” but you gotta do all the work and chase this friendship is basically what she told me. I  just WANT things to be as they used to but they most likely wont ever be like that ever again, she got a guy and put me on the back burner. I am no longer someone important to her like I used to be and it fucking sucks!

I will forever remember that powerful day we had (coffee and walk to the bench where we opened up about stuff) and that crazy good summer (also my hockey team just won back to back stanley cups…2016 and 2017) and those months leading up to her getting a boyfriend that changed things between us.  It leaves me depressed and angry at the same time.

Beats me, I don’t know anything anymore.

So was gonna message her Thursday early morning to call her on my break and say hey and stuff. As I let her go ask if we can talk the next day, wanna ask her something more private. The next day call her for 5 minutes and say that I have learned a lot from her over the years, like how to open up and be a more kind loving person and I am way more talkative on the phone now compared to before. That my question was if we can have those long phone conversations like we used to (45-60 mins) or if that is a thing of the past? not all the time as she’s busy with other things that are more important (which is pretty much everything these days).