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Let her go?

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  • This topic has 957 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by pete.
Viewing 15 posts - 886 through 900 (of 958 total)
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  • #353382
    pete
    Participant

    This Thursday/Friday coming up.

    #353390
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I see. Instead of asking her for plural 45-60 minutes phone calls in the future, ask her for one 30 minute phone call, as a gift to you, if that’s okay with her, if it won’t distress her to talk that long with you.

    This Thursday/ Friday..  in two or three days. If you do ask her, I will be very curious as to what she will say!

    anita

    #353904
    pete
    Participant

    We talked for 15 minutes during my break, it was awkward due to talking at work and people around listening in. How she’s doing, not happy about maybe going back to work next week (liked not working and getting paid for it, was in a groove) because her job/career is one of the ones able to get back to work so told her just eaze yourself in a few days a week and build up since you have been off so long. Also she has money coming my way she’s not forgot about me but told her don’t worry about it right now due to no work, more about her giant garden and sent me a pic of it with all types of veggies she’s growing (she LOVES gardening). Wondering about work how things are there, wanted to know how I have been doing and told her about my headache yesterday and how my dad drove me on the highway to get rid of it with all that wind hitting me so she was really happy I am feeling better, her guy is here for 1 more week. Told her bye but we just kept talking like we used to do all the time, LOTS of silence so I kinda just said goodbye again…didn’t tell her what I was meaning to say. Later on told her I would let her go (she had stuff to do anyway and due to the silence I was wanting to end the call anyway) and to tell her guy I said wassup, also told me she will be in touch and that I said I would call her again sometime soon and that was it.

    #353920
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Those moments of silence in between words, that’s not a bad thing. You had a few good moments with her right after or before moments of silence. I wish you way more with her than occasional phone calls, and I know you wish that too.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by anita.
    #354072
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I am wondering how you are doing this afternoon, how you are feeling. I hope you are  okay. Are you?

    anita

    #354186
    pete
    Participant

    I am ok for now. Got 3 days off work so just going to play some games. Hope you’re well.

    #354206
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Good to read from you, to know you are okay (technically okay at 12:03 pm, we’re in the same time zone). Playing computer games is what you like to do, that’s how you got your name blkhwkdwn1. I am fine, thank you, visited Bellingham today, a city not too far down south from you, sun is shining, hot day, people are out and about.

    anita

    #354790
    pete
    Participant

    One thing I have noticed is our long calls were pretty much always at night time except that 1 summer, it was night or afternoon. I’ll call her next week if we can start talking longer, that it feels like 10 minutes go by and we hang up,  if she says no I will tell her I am gonna go now and just hang up.

     

    This shit is so boring……..always have a problem because she’s changed into someone else. I don’t even remember what we talked about in those long calls years ago, I just know she always seemed excited to talk and keep in touch, now she’s into vanishing and NOT staying in touch because she’s moved on but keeps saying things to me to reel me back in.

    #354808
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    “she always seemed excited to talk and keep in touch”. Not long ago when she showed up in the store where you work, she saw you and immediately had a big smile on her face: can’t fake immediate, automatic responses. She was excited to see you.

    Maybe like she said, she doesn’t like to text, and she doesn’t like to talk on the phone a lot. I know I don’t. I avoid talking on the phone.

    I hope she will be receptive to talking with you longer on the phone. Let me know how the call next week goes, or whenever you call her next. Try to not repeat the pattern from before, telling her goodbye, blocking her and such. When you feel very angry and frustrated with her next time, find a different way to respond, a way that will work for you long term.

    anita

    #354864
    pete
    Participant

    What is a different way that will work long term for me? All I know is being straight to the point and being patient doesn’t workout for me and I dunno why I should even bother asking her anything anymore knowing the results. Also I only said goodbye once to her and I wont say it again. For a while now I keep telling myself “you just keep doing the same thing over and over again…is this going to go on forever? are you going to feel rotten inside until the day you die?”.

    #354932
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Let’s take a walk on memory lane three years and eight months ago to September 18-20, 2016, when you started this thread, 60 pages ago. Following are quotes plus my today comments on these old quotes:

    “So I have this girl I’ve known for YEARS through work, she’s no longer there anymore. She called me her friend although I’d say we were mostly co workers and that’s it because we never did friend things like hang out or text and stuff, but I have started a friendship with her for the past month.. and started really liking her.. thanks for the awesome 3 weeks we were friends and it’s been some of my best memories, texting, the coffees, the walk along Dallas road and the beach”- so your friendship with her started August 2016, and lasted 3 weeks before you started your thread.

    “I know I’ll never be anything more than just a friend.. I’ll never ask her because I will never feel worthy of her”- I think you were worthy of her, but what I think is irrelevant: you believed that you were not worthy of her, and you were absolutely sure that you will never ask her to be more than a friend to you.

    “she’s also the most amazing person I have ever met, and I’m happy around her, can’t stop smiling.. I’d do anything to make her happy.. I never met anyone like this in my 30+ years being alive”- this is you being in- love with her.

    “Maybe I’ll hold off calling off the friendship.. I’m taking a break from that girl”- you were considering ending your friendship with her three weeks after it started.

    “we used to text each other every day, now it’s once a week so maybe she was only there for me because this issue then it’s back to not talking or something”- your complaint about infrequent texting with her started three weeks into the friendship with her, a complaint still in effect 3 years and 8 months later.

    “I’m still going to disappear for a while.. she said to keep her posted every now and then… I’ve disappeared from social media since last night, deactivated my Facebook while I do this”- the daily communication with her lasted not longer than 3 weeks, following which you told her that you will be gone from her life for a while, and she suggested that you keep her posted every now and then.

    Fast forward, May 13, 2020: “All I know is being straight to the point and being patient doesn’t workout for me”- you were in love with her back in Sept 2016 and you were not at all straight to the point about it. You ended that friendship 3 weeks into it- that’s not being patient.

    “Also I only said goodbye once to her”- you ended communication with her many times.

    “I keep telling myself ‘you just keep doing the same thing over and over again.. is this going to go on forever? Are you going to feel rotten inside..?”- stop doing the same thing over and over again if you want to feel better.

    “What is a different way that will work long term for me?”- have a woman in your life to whom you will refer to as your girlfriend or partner, a woman who will refer to you as her boyfriend or partner.

    (I don’t think you ever had that experience. Did you?)

    anita

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by anita.
    #355068
    pete
    Participant

    I mean I have not said it to her except that 1 text, before it was just in here. I decided I would text her that I had a question for her, that if we could talk more on the phone like we used to in the past, that it feels like 10 minutes go by and that’s it. She’s ignored me…AGAIN!!!!! In the past we had a short conversation, she would always text me back and we would talk for 1 hour or less. I guess she just doesn’t want me around anymore, fine!

    #355090
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    You sound upset, so sorry, blkhwkdwnw1, I wish you were calm and content and even joyful this evening. Please try to relax and have a restful sleep!

    anita

    #356356
    pete
    Participant

    Just wanna say that she does not owe me any more money, just saw her for 15 minutes at her work and gave me the last of it. We talked a few days ago for 30 minutes. Some of the guys at my work told me she’s just sticking around because of the money, so I told her that I guess this will be the last time we see eachother, her face changed like “WHAT???” like she was about to freak out, but told her it will probably be years because the pandemic, she is like “we can still go on walks and i’ll message you if I am coming in to your work”, but I live with my dad and I work and don’t wanna give it to him, so if we do we will have to stay far apart.

     

    She does not hang out with friends nor the neighbour except sometimes for dinners, just the family. Just messaged her thanks for the money, and that I appreciate her and if anything happens and nobody is there for her even if it’s not money related to give me a shout and I will be there and that I hope she gets everything she wants in life. Also before I left I let her know i’ll facetime her in a few weeks and when we first started talking I let her know thanks for letting me help out and that the summer we spent together was the best summer of my life.

    #356394
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Amazing: finally the loan is paid back in full,  good thing, having that out of the way. She didn’t hang out with you from time to time because of the money, your friends at work were wrong. She genuinely liked you and she still does.

    “the summer we spent together was the best summer of my life”- this is how I view that summer: at times, during that summer, when you were with her, you put aside your personal belief that no one can love you, and for a time here and there you let yourself enjoy the feeling of being loved, and that was the best feeling in the world.

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 886 through 900 (of 958 total)

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