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Let her go?

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Viewing 15 posts - 901 through 915 (of 958 total)
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  • #356442
    anita
    Participant

    testing..

    #356456
    pete
    Participant

    Yeah seemed they lied. Conversation was pretty much…

    Me: I guess this is the last time we will be seeing eachother, huh?

    Her: *confused face* What? Why?

    Me: *tries to find the words*

    Her: Because the social isolation?

    Me: Well yeah, it’s gonna be years

    Her: But people are allowed in groups of 6 now as long as they obey the rules, I hope it’s not years though

    Her: I am not going to be doing anything right now, it just doesn’t feel right.

    Me: But I live with my dad and don’t wanna get him sick

    Her: We will still go for walks and I will text you when I go to your work

     

    During the 30 minute call a few days ago she was making a veggie pizza and 2 of her sisters were over, I said “you’re making pizza and didn’t invite me over for dinner?”, she said “Maybe another day you can come over for dinner” in a low voice. We pretty much just talked about our normal stuff, plus I told her about my bad cat news, he’s got a tumor and needs surgery in a few weeks to take it out but all the blood work was good news. She spends most of her days in her garden or working on the yurt that’s pretty much finished, gave me a picture of it and rarely goes on hikes or to the lake due to gardening and the yurt. Told her to start hiking again and maybe some kayaking and to wake up early before other people do and do some running and to be out in nature alone. She also said that she does not like how the vibe of the earth feels right now, it doesn’t feel right and wont be seeing anyone for now except her family.

    #356500
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Reads like a nice 30 min phone conversation and I hope you have more of those more often. And that the two of you will go for walks. And maybe you will be invited for her veggie pizza, sitting outside her yurt, by the garden- socially distanced and outdoors, it can be done.

    “She also said that she does not like how the vibe of the earth feels right now, it doesn’t feel right and won’t be seeing anyone for now except her family”- I assume she was referring to the .. viral vibe. But did she mean more than that?

    anita

    #356518
    pete
    Participant

    Yeah doesn’t like how things feel overall in the world.

    #356522
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I hope things do get better in our world, in the world inside all of us and in the world outside of us.

    anita

    #357032
    pete
    Participant

    So she’s pretty much back to work now and everyone is happy and booking and saying how much she’s changed their lives.

     

    Alright so, I been thinking about what she said about those walks…July it will mark that we have hung out 1 time in 1 year which has never happened before, guessing she only wants to see me 1 time a year for those walks due to her man. I don’t see a point in knowing people if I get to see them once a year, just my opinion. If you never see your friends, are they even your friends? perhaps I will ask her about it, I need to know if she means just once per year or every few months because regular contact is only reserved for her friend next door. She’s really the least honest person I have ever met tbh.

     

    As for other things…been talking to this cute customer at my work, an east indian lady hard to pronounce her name and this woman that I been talking to at my work for years that I am pretty sure likes me (she’s 20 years  older then me) told me a few days ago next time I see her she will be wearing a bikini and we will have some fun together LMAO!!!

    #357035
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    “if I get to see them once a year.. If you never see your friends”- how many times did you see her in 2020? In 2019? (for any reason, and any circumstance, at your store, at her workplace, anywhere?

    “She’s really the least honest person I have ever met”- how  is she not honest???

    Regarding the older woman at work, don’t know.. I think you tend to flirt with women but nothing comes out of it?

    anita

    #357038
    pete
    Participant

    2019 about 5. 2 before the guy with those hikes and that coffee and took me to the life coach also before the guy, 1 when they started a month into their relationship on that picnic, then the summer when she gave me money, after that she told me nope but saw her other friends.

     

    2020 after her trip and probably wont be any more because I am not doing once a year.

     

    Not honest because she said she will try reaching out more, she does not even try it’s been 2 months, those events she was going too invite me to she doesn’t, asked to keep me updated on certain things last year and hasn’t, said she would text me when she comes in I bet she wont. List goes on. I swear to god anytime she tells me something I know the opposite will happen and it does. It gets really old.

     

    As for the flirting at work..I don’t do it as much as I used to, not as thrilling for me anymore. I also don’t really flirt with her, we talk, she always wants to be hugged and outside of work talked for 30 or so minutes.

    #357041
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    She probably means it when she says it but fails to follow through, she goes to much by feelings, vibes and energy, so she gets distracted, is my guess. I am sorry, blkhwkdwn1, you know how I wish, I wish the two of you were way more than you are, partners in life, is what I wish it was.

    30 minutes talk is a long talk, and 20 years is a big difference. But what’s most important is if there is a meeting of the minds and hearts, plus, most important for you, because you don’t drive: geographic proximity, you need someone who lives close by.

    anita

    #357045
    pete
    Participant

    Yes that sounds right for her, but I got my money back so if it’s only once a year then no loss.

    #357083
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I am glad that you got your money back, this debt lasted too long, good thing it’s finally paid in full.

    There is one more thing regarding her not hanging out with you more often than rarely: teenagers are very social, needing to frequently socialize with peers- every single day! College students in their 20s still have a high social appetite, known to party a lot. As people age, that social need weakens and weakens. As people enter their 30s, most slow down, focusing on their jobs, spouses and children. People in their later 30s, 40s and older are way less likely to make new friends and way likely to have frequent get togethers with old friends.

    She is in her 5th decade of life,  a grandmother. A woman her age is not likely to hang out with a friend who  is single, going for hikes etc. She is likely to keep to herself and rarely socialize, and when she socializes it is likely to be with a group of people, in a group setting, and not with a single person.

    You on the other hand, are closer to being a teenager than she is, not only age wise, but it being that unlike her, you are not a parent or a grandparent, and unlike her, you are still living with your own parent. Also, unlike her you don’t have a partner, so you are .. way closer to having a teenager’s social need and expectations.

    anita

    #357085
    pete
    Participant

    Yes I am glad as well.

     

    She’s only 5 years older then me, I am mid 30’s and she’s early 40s. I see people at my work all the time so I don’t need as much social time outside of work with any of them nor do I crave it, I never see her which is why I need WAY more time and why I crave it. I need to see the body language, I need to see the memories like we used to. Phone calls are nothing, you can’t really get anything from those. If I did not have strong feelings and she was more on a “casual friend” level I likely would barely contact her or call or hang out with her and not really care if we didn’t talk anymore and fell out of touch. But…nothing she will ever give me will ever be enough for me, even once a month I would want more, that would mean I only get to see her 12 times a year WTF???? that’s all my worth is to her, but now all it’s worth is 1 time every 365 days and there are 24 hours in a day so 2 hours every 8760 hours per year.

     

    Not enough to keep someone around. She should not be upset or confused if I no longer respond to her or tell her I guess this will be the last time we see eachother after what I just posted.

    #357087
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    She is in her early 40s- this means that she is in her 5th decade of life, and you are in your 4th decade of life. And your life circumstances are different: she has two adult children, a grandchild (one I think), and you have no children. You are a single man living with his father; she is a divorced woman, with a boyfriend living in a yurt.

    Remember when she was putting on make up on that hike, for you to see? Maybe she was considering you as a boyfriend. Again, it may very well be that being in her 4th/ 5th decade of life, she doesn’t see a single man as a friend. She sees a single man as a boyfriend or a potential boyfriend.

    anita

    #357092
    pete
    Participant

    No grandchildren, just 2 20+ year old daughters and never married, just had a guy for 18 years and was her only relationship she had ever had until this one.

     

    She told me a week ago “I will still see you at your work, i’ll text you when I am coming in so we can talk and we will still go on walks”. I shoulda just told her my feelings back then when she was single on that first hike we had last year when she put makeup on, now it will always be a regret because I was too chicken shit like always and now that new guy took her away from me.

    #357096
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I wonder why I thought she had a grandchild.. I figured she was a very young grandmother.. hmmm, I made a mistake then. Yes, I know you were scared back then, you were so sure that you were not worthy of her. That saddens me because you were and are worthy of her. It’s just that you believed so strongly that you were not. What we believe is very powerful. I too missed many opportunities in life because I believed I was not worthy, not a valuable  person. I believed I was inferior to others- a very painful way to live. But fast forward, I now know that I was wrong, believing that about myself.

    You can change what you believe too, and being in your thirties, you will be way ahead of the game compared to me, age wise. If she becomes single again, you can tell her then that you are not as scared anymore, that you want to try and be her partner.

    Can you imagine doing that???

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 901 through 915 (of 958 total)

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