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Let her go?

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  • This topic has 956 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by anita.
Viewing 15 posts - 916 through 930 (of 957 total)
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  • #357104
    pete
    Participant

    Probably not, she’s a changed woman and will probably have a new guy before I knew she left the old guy.

     

    So how do I ask her about my problem? if we were to hang out I don’t want 1 time a year only, if it wont happen like how I want it then perhaps how it used to be and I will never accept 1 hike or coffee a year and that’s it because that shows you’re not an important person to them. I am thinking about asking how often we would do a hike or a coffee even if we meet half way.

    #357105
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    You said earlier that she doesn’t want to commit to a schedule of seeing a person (something I suggested before);  she likes to go with the flow instead, so what can you do.. all you can do is call her once a month or so and ask her to meet you for coffee or a socially distanced picnic in the park (take away veggie or vegan something), like you did before. In other words, you can set a schedule for yourself to call her on the 15th of every month, let’s say, and suggest coffee or a picnic or a hike, so altogether you are aiming at 12 meetings per year. My position is still, that she genuinely likes you, so I think it may work. What do you think?

    anita

    #357122
    pete
    Participant

    Alright thanks, I will try it out. Maybe not once a month as she will most likely say no, but every few months and if that works out I’ll try to sometimes go once a month to test that out.

     

    As for phoning her once a month, I call her every 2 weeks lately and she seems fine with it.  I’ll let you know over several months how this goes, if it keeps not happening I dunno what I will do.

    #357150
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Keep that every 2 weeks call then, and if you don’t want to suggest getting together every single month, suggest it every month and a half or two months. And do let me know how it goes.

    anita

    #357200
    pete
    Participant

    I’m gonna message her if she wants to do a hike or something the beginning of July in an attempt to see people.

     

    I really don’t like this social isolation BS though. Saw a woman at work i’ve not seen since pre covid and we could not hug each other…we always hug 2 or 3 times (she’s about 48 but looks much younger and takes care of her body for sure). Yes, I hug lots of women at my work co workers and customers and I can’t now and it’s killing me inside lol.

    #357203
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    You made me smile with your covid woe of not being able to hug- I am with you on that, now I miss the local .. my goodness, it’s been so long I forgot what it’s called.. a place where I used to go to in some afternoons to drink wine, not a bar.. oh, yes, a tap room, that’ s the word, they serve primarily beer.. how I miss sitting around people, and one of the customers, Daniel, he was a hugger.. I used the verb “was”- it feels like such a long, long time ago. Back to you- it is a shame that you don’t get to hug and to be hugged. When will we be able to taproom/ hug again…

    I do hope you and her go on a hike in July or better, in June.

    anita

    #357265
    pete
    Participant

    Yes I  like to hug as well.

     

    As for her, like normal now she took forever to message me back and said sorry for late reply that she was busy with some stuff and said sounds  good for a hike after next month, I never responded back. I dunno if I should ask to bring her man…maybe she will change her tune if he knows I am not a threat to their relationship if he tags along? After I  will ask for a coffee around late August, like the last week, I will say like “You free for coffee this week?” or something.

    #357266
    pete
    Participant

    Also next week I will try for a facetime with her before her guy comes, told her we will facetime in a few weeks. Next week starts tomorrow.

    #357269
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    No, don’t ask her to bring “her man” or “her guy”- I hope he is his own man, not hers.  A June Facetime, a  July hike and an August coffee reads good to me.

    anita

    #357276
    pete
    Participant

    Alright just her. Maybe after instead of a coffee in late August I can ask if she wants to hike some place near her and I will get my dad to drive me there (lol), then mid/late Oct a coffee or something.

    #357284
    pete
    Participant

    Is this a bad sign? just found out she posted on FB a few times a few hours after I messaged her, but she messaged me the next day saying sorry for late reply had things going on (regular thing now for ignoring my texts but being active on social media) and still hangs around her neighbour doing picnics and dancing having a ball yet never making plans with me telling me she can’t commit monthly. Just wondering what your opinion is on this. You know my opinion, her guy doesn’t want me around so she’s been distancing herself.

    #357308
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    “hang around her neighbor doing picnics and dancing having a ball”- reads like an assumption that you are making, not based on evidence: what evidence do you have of her having a ball???

    It does make sense that she would be spending time with a neighbor who lives right there, very close to her small yurt (it’s hard to stay in a very small yurt for too long, one has to get out), than it is for her to drive a distance away.

    I don’t remember if you ever told her about you being upset at the idea that she spends time with other people but not with you, did you tell her that, and if so, what did she say in response?

    anita

    #357322
    pete
    Participant

    I been having a panic attack for over an hour. I messaged her again early and again she never messaged me back, she posts on her facebook. I messaged her

     

    Me: Let’s talk in the next few days, not up for a facetime call right nowthough so just a regular call”

    Me: Hope your day goes well

     

    6 hours later I message my old roomate and he says she’s posting on her FB

     

    Me: Uhhhhh,,,,,,Whatever I did to you I am sorry but I guess you no longer wanna talk anymore now that you paid me back

     

    I rode my bike past her work, she’s there but obviously if she doesn’t wanna see me anymore since all she does is ignore me I just kept on going.

     

    I guess it’s over…WTF????she panic’d and was gonna freak out when I told her “I guess we wont be seeing eachother anymore”

     

    Also yes I have told I am a little jealous her neighbour gets all this time with her, she didn’t say anything. I know she had a good time because she always has a good time with friends and everytime on the phone she always seems inlove with her in a best friend way saying she’s soooo positive and always tells me about new things they do.

    #357324
    pete
    Participant

    She said she does not wanna hear this, her phone is on silent and she’s sorry she does not answer back right away sometimes and sure let’s chat soon. Told her fine to call me later for a few minutes to clear this up and that I found out she posts on FB while I message her and feel like a fuckin retard.

    #357337
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I want to read your posts when I feel refreshed, Monday morning, and reply then. Good night, blkhwkdwn1. (Always feel free to add as many posts as you want, at any time).

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 916 through 930 (of 957 total)

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