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my body wants an eternal sleep

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Viewing 14 posts - 31 through 44 (of 44 total)
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  • #412939
    soma
    Participant

    My beloved friend Anita; this year has only been a hindrage for me so far. It had its ups but it was mainly lows. trying my best to stay positive throughout everything tho. i be.lieve that 2023 will be my year 🙂 i hope you are doing good as well. i wish you the best of new years and the best of times

    love

    #412947
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear soma:

    Good to read from you 4  months and 9 days after you last posted here. I hope that 2023’s lows will not be as low and that the highs.. will not be as high (Moderation is key) as in 2022! Thank you for your good wishes, I very much appreciate it that you chose to post here today, Happy New Year to you, my beloved friend soma!

    anita

    #421358
    soma
    Participant

    hey anita!

    first of all how are you doing? how’s everything? i hope you’re doing okay and feeling good. how has been your summer? mine was pretty good! do you remember how i told you i was going to take an exam that would determine my career like two years ago? well i did pretty good i was actually ranked 28.000 amongst 3mil people!!!! i will attend an amazing university hopefully and its been sooo relaxing to have it finally over! i actually got back with my ex about three months ago and its been going super good 🧿 he is an amazing person who makes me feel loved,secure, funny, beautiful and so many other things. i honestly love him sooo much to a point where its kinda scary. what i mean is that i am scared of ever losing him again. we have been seperate for a year before getting back together and that year has been like living throuh hell for me. we’ve been through so much and to be honest he has broken my heart for a number of times during that year. cant really describe how miswrable i was but its safe to say theres been many sleeples night many blackout days and many tears. but i think it was all worth it and was necessery for us to become the people we are today and fpr us to grow. its better than it ever was today but i must admit i am feeling retroactive jelousy very badly. i cant stop myself from getting hurt or jelous about his past. wheter it be the year we were apart or even before that. but mainly the year we were apart. i really have to tell it in detail for you to understand everything but to sum it up he had a few flings last year and they bother me so much now. apart from the intimacy or sexual experiences he had i often thinl about how he might have liked others. i liked many people whilst we were apart top but maybe because i know i was always in love wth him it doesnt matter. i wish i could just not care and get on with it. i am actually working on this and understand that the feelings i am experiencing arent his fault but a result of my own insecurities and creative mind. i hope it becomes easier! anyways anita again hope youre doing well!! dont forget to look after yourself and dont forget to love yourself and others <3

     

    #422128
    anita
    Participant

    Hey back to you, Dear soma:

    I don’t know if you are following the activity on your thread, it being almost a month since you posted the above (I did not participate in the forums at the time). Please let me know if you are reading this post and I will reply to you further.

    anita

     

    #422288
    soma
    Participant

    HEY ANITAA

    YES I READ YOUR POST, LOVE YA

    #422290
    anita
    Participant

    Dear soma:

    Good to read from you! You started your thread on April 2, 2021, two years and five+ months ago. You were then in high school, two years or so to graduation, studying in one of the best high schools in Turkey. You were very anxious at the time, “anxious all around the clock“,  stressed about the high expectations people had of you “to have a great career”.

    Fast forward to your post before last, that of Aug 18, 2023- a month and 2 days ago- you shared that your summer was pretty good, that you did very well in the exam you took, the one that would determine your career, ranking 28,000 among the 3,000,000 young people who took it. You were hoping therefore to attend an amazing university.

    *                                    C o N g R a T u L a T i O n  S        S  o  M  a   !   !    !

    You also shared that after a one year separation from your boyfriend, a year of “many sleepless nights.. many tears“, you got back with him three months earlier (May 2023), loving him “sooo much to a point where it’s kinda scary.. I am scared of ever losing him again“. Even though the resumed relationship has been “better than it ever was“, you’ve been feeling “retroactive jealousy very badly“, jealousy about his past, mainly about the few flings he had during year of the separation from you, but “even before that“.

    How are you feeling most recently/ today?

    anita

     

     

    #422563
    soma
    Participant

    dear anita,

    first of all how are you? hope you’re doing good and taking care of yourself. if we were to talk about me, i am studying to become a dentist! now im gonna tell you something suuuper funny. me and my boyfriend scoreed the same on our uni entrance exam and there were only 28 people between our rankings amongst 3.5 milllion people! how crazy is that? and on top of that we got into the same uni and we both are studying to become dentists! this situation has me believing in faith. so yeah my school actually starts in about a week and im super excited!

    about the retroactive jealousy thing, since the past few months i am understanding the importance ıf communication more and more. i make an active effort to talk about things that bother me and encourage the people around me to do the same. not just things bothering me but ive also been trying to show my affection and gratitude and love more to my community. so all this effort put by me and by my partner and all the talks ive had with him about his past relationships has put my mind at a bit more ease and now i understand that me obsessing over such unimportant stuff only damages our relationship.

    As of now, i feel slightly underwhelmed by my life. i want to do more stuff, travel more, love more but for some reason i feel like a bear in hibernation just sleeping. Heavy on wanting to love more, i just want to express my love through so manyy things and aspectsbut i feel like i fail to do so.

    anyways, like i said i hope everything is going well for you and i am wishing all the best to you

    love, soma

    #422571
    anita
    Participant

    Dear soma

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Dear soma:

    I am fine, at home and soon going to bed. I will reply further Fri morning. Have a good Fri in your part of the world, precious soma!

    anita

     

     

     

     

    #422572
    anita
    Participant

    Dear soma:

    I am fine, at home and soon going to bed. I will reply further Fri morning. Have a good Fri in your part of the world, precious soma!

    (I don’t understand the big SPACE above, be back to you tomorrow)

    anita

    #422585
    anita
    Participant

    Dear soma:

    A dentist,  I am sure that you will never be unemployed as a dentist in any part of the world! It is amazing indeed that of 3-5 million test takers, you and your boyfriend scored so close, having only 28 people between your rankings!

    “And on top of that we got into the same uni and we both are studying to become dentists! this situation has me believing in faith”- it makes me think of the two of you becoming a family and having children with no untreated teeth problems!

    “About the retroactive jealousy thing, since the past few months, I am understanding the importance of communication more and more. I make an active effort to talk about things that bother me and encourage the people around me to do the same… I’ve also been trying to show my affection and gratitude and love more to my community. So, all this effort put by me and by my partner…  has put my mind at a bit more ease and now I understand that me obsessing over such unimportant stuff only damages our relationship”-

    – excellent job, soma! I am positively impressed by you! Effective communication coupled with affection, gratitude and love makes a winning combination!

    “As of now, I feel slightly underwhelmed by my life. I want to do more stuff, travel more, love more but for some reason, I feel like a bear in hibernation just sleeping. Heavy on wanting to love more, I just want to express my love through so many things and aspects, but I feel like I fail to do so”-

    – I see a need for something else to factor into the winning combination I mentioned above, and that is Patience, my young friend. Pace yourself, slow down your thinking and wanting things, and aim at finding contentment in the present moment.

    “My school actually starts in about a week and I’m super excited!.. I am wishing all the best to you, love, soma”-

    – thank you for your wishing me the best and I am wishing you the best in your upcoming school year, and more and more love in your life!

    anita

     

    #425122
    anita
    Participant

    How are you, soma?

    anita

    #434437
    soma
    Participant

    hi anita,

    im sorry that i take so long to reply but i often forget i even have this aspect of my online persona. i am well thank you for asking. still with my boyfriend and now in total we have been together for almost two years. just finished prep school before starting my dentistry courses in the fall. made some new friends whilst some old ones withering. my relationship is… idk how to put it into words but not the best as of the past 3-4 months. we fight like cats and dogs one week and inseperable the next. the main struggle i have with him now is that hes in another city for almost the whole summer and we have soooo litlle time together. its not like he doesnt have a choice, he has ts just a summer house of his family but he prefers the stay there for the majority of his time. most of our problems stems from not spending nearly enough time due to circumstances. some from his neverending jealousy. i dont think im the most satisfied in the relationship right now but i dont want to break up either. care to give me any advice on this? besides my boyf my life has sooo many more aspects to it that i just dont have the energy to type out. OH AND I WASNT SELECTED FOR A GREEN CARD ;(

    anyways i hope youre doing well also. i hope that everything in your life is fulfilling to your soul. much love

    soma

    #434517
    anita
    Participant

    Dear soma: somehow, I missed your post from 2 days ago, I will read and reply tomorrow morning (it’s Mon evening here).

    anita

    #434520
    anita
    Participant

    Dear soma:

    I am earlier than I said I’d be, after reviewing some of our recent communication. “care to give me any advice on this?“- yes: slow down, calm down, be patient with yourself and with him.

    Don’t RUSH- emotionally and otherwise. Turn down the speed by which your emotions travel. Make it easier for him, he needs things being easier for him, doesn’t he?

    anita

     

Viewing 14 posts - 31 through 44 (of 44 total)

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