Dear Lindsey:

“my anxiety makes me feel awful”, mine too. Anxiety does feel terrible for everyone, it really is very, very unpleasant. The good news is that it can be improved, mine has improved significantly, yet it is still unpleasant, it is the nature of the condition, fear feels very unpleasant. This is why animals who are afraid of an approaching predator run away fast, they feel so very terrible, unpleasant that they run away from the predator- and from their very unpleasant emotion of fear- as fast as possible.

In your case, and in mine, there is no predator approaching, so keep reminding yourself that there is no imminent-and-present danger, and relax best you can.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

You texted him at midnight, isn’t it too late to text, do you know when he usually goes to bed?

So your plan today is “to be waiting all day wondering what’s the deal and worried”?

That is your inclination but what if it doesn’t have to be this way, what if you set a different plan, to have a nice day, to go out to a movie, let’s say, relax in front of the big screen (that is what I used to do to relax and disappear into a made up story).

anita

Dear Lindsey:

Don’t get overwhelmed by your feelings, don’t let your feelings control your behavior. Consider your feelings, have empathy for yourself but use your rational thinking as well- in other words, don’t be stupid (according to the definition I use for stupidity: “stupid is as stupid does”)!

anita

Dear Lindsey:

You texted him at 6 pm and at midnight last night and he didn’t text you back. Maybe he is not texting you for the purpose of slowing down, that is, he is purposefully not texting you back as part of his aim to go slow. Relax best you can. I am guessing that he will text you today, let me know when he does, will you?

anita

I will be waiting for your update then, Lindsey. You are not waiting alone then, waiting here with you.

anita