Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→New and Improved: the journey, rebirth, a new world
- This topic has 297 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by
cali sister.
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October 3, 2019 at 7:42 am #315747
AnonymousGuestDear cali sister:
Thank you for accepting my apology.
“Am I a terrible person for causing these parents to lose yet another child?”-
– I am rephrasing your question: am I a terrible person for allowing these terrible parents to experience the consequences of their 2.7 decades of actions against me?
My answer to your question and my re-phrasing of yours is NO.
It is time for cali sister to not continue the parental tradition of treating herself terribly. Time for cali sister to change the rules. This “new world” of yours is one where you make the rules.
anita
October 3, 2019 at 7:42 am #315749
cali sisterParticipantI am writing this as a side note as these thoughts are flowing in: I see myself these past 2 or so years, constantly searching and searching for ways to get better. To feel better. To enter my own world and not be fused with theirs. I can literally see myself – as if I am watching a movie. I realize now – All I need is for them to just not be a part of me. Not even a text.
October 3, 2019 at 7:44 am #315751AnonymousGuestDear cali sister:
Your thinking is clear, you know what you need. I don’t know if you noticed my reply before your post of a moment ago?
anita
October 3, 2019 at 7:44 am #315753cali sisterParticipantYour posts continue to bring tears to my eyes. Oh, how they are helping me. I will do this today. Unfortunately, I am still on their family plan so I will probably have to change my phone number. I will do that today as well. My co worker M is being very supportive today. I have to say, I am very thankful for her.
October 3, 2019 at 7:47 am #315755cali sisterParticipantI wanted to share – on Tuesday my yoga teacher set the intention of the class as “celebration.” I celebrated my reconnection with you. The last time I went home, I came back completely distraught. My therapist and I spoke on the phone and considered all the ways of NC with parents. I was very emotional as I was that day, but scared. I am still scared, but it is different today. I am asking the universe for support.
October 3, 2019 at 7:49 am #315757AnonymousGuestDear cali sister:
I am glad M is being very supportive, excellent. I’ll be here all day long, a couple of hours away later on, but the computer will be on until about 9 pm your time. When I see your name on the list of Topics I will answer. (If you see that I submitted a post t someone else, it means that I didn’t see that you posted before I attended another thread).
added: your yoga class celebration- that is heart warming, to me, it means a lot. Thank you.
anita
October 3, 2019 at 7:52 am #315761cali sisterParticipantThank you.
I hope you know anita how much you have helped my sister (and I of course). I am very thankful for you. My sister and her husband and our dogs are my family. I love that concept. That I do indeed have this family here.
I am trying as the minutes go by to come to terms with the idea that I may have to call the police. That is my current hardest thought.
cali sister
October 3, 2019 at 7:55 am #315763AnonymousGuestDear cali sister:
You are very welcome. Call the police if and after you tell them to not contact you and they contact you anyway. Warn them first. And change your phone number.
anita
October 3, 2019 at 7:57 am #315765cali sisterParticipantanita,
Ok will do. And you will be the first to know when I finally block them. I shall change my number today.
I am proud of me, because even though I am so emotional right now, I am functioning. Which is a huge improvement from last year.
October 3, 2019 at 8:22 am #315773AnonymousGuestDear cali sister:
I am proud of you too.
“even though I am so emotional right now, I am functioning. Which is a huge improvement from last year”- the slow, step by step healing/ improvement work you’ve done in the last two years is paying off. You have practice functioning no matter how you feel, you built that kind of resilience over time and you can trust it now.
anita
October 3, 2019 at 8:53 am #315783cali sisterParticipantI figured out how to change my number. Now for sending them the final text …
what do you think?
October 3, 2019 at 9:12 am #315791AnonymousGuestDear cali sister:
You mean what text you should send, as to the words?
anita
October 3, 2019 at 9:20 am #315797cali sisterParticipantYes. what words to say to them
October 3, 2019 at 9:31 am #315803AnonymousGuestDear cali sister:
Write what comes to your mind and I will be glad to give you my input/ suggest an editing. (Will you be sending it to your father’s and mother’s phones, same message?)
anita
October 3, 2019 at 9:50 am #315811cali sisterParticipantYes, same message. Phew this is hard.
Hello. I hope you have been doing well. For my health, it is the best decision for me to no longer keep in contact with you. You may never know why or think you have done nothing wrong, but you have caused me so much pain. As my parents, of course I love you and care for you, however I can no longer tolerate your behavior. Please do not contact me anymore. I moved apartments – do not go to my old apartment. If you do, I am sorry but I will have to call the police. I need to do this for myself. I am sorry, but this is not my fault. As your daughter, please respect my decision. This is not my fault. I have done nothing wrong. I deserve to live a peaceful life.
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