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self doubt, not being sure of my decisions

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  • #422094
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Caroline:

    A good mother would want and encourage her daughter to become capable and reasonably-powerful in life. I am sorry, Caroline, that your mother- like mine and so many others’- belongs to the bad-mother club.

    Last week she asked me whether I work for American managers. I said yes, those are my managers. I saw something weird in her eyes.. admire perhaps, but different, mixed with.. envy, I think. Immediately she changed subject like she got scared of her own thoughts or.. getting deeper into the subject. But I don’t understand. She would like to brag about my success, money etc. in front of other people. But she’s afraid of it somehow“- Best I can figure is that (1) she likes to brag about herself (as a mother, in this case) for producing a professionally/ monetarily successful daughter. Her bragging is not about her appreciating you. It is about seeking the appreciation of the people she is bragging to, wanting them to think highly of her.

    (2) What you saw in her eyes is impossible for me to know, of course Maybe she was thinking something like: I wish I could work for American managers (having images in her mind of herself working for American managers, maybe images taken from a movie or a television program), followed by her thinking something like: but I am too old/ unqualified to work for American managers, followed by: Caroline is young and qualified, followed by envy, followed by… some thought that scared her..

    When angry at you in the past, or still: what does she say or do to you?

    anita

     

    #422096
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Caroline:

    I noticed that you submitted a second post today after I submitted the reply above.

    Anita, it is okay, really. I am not afraid of communication here… I am a grown up and I am responsible for my own decisions so no need to be worried“- thank you, I feel better reading this.

    No way I will break up with someone over a reply post of someone who did not even bother to answer my request to elaborate. (not this post but the other one I started)“- I know that you are too intelligent to do something like that!

    anita

    #422321
    anita
    Participant

    How are you, Caroline? Did you make a choice regarding work?

    anita

Viewing 3 posts - 31 through 33 (of 33 total)

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