Hi All,
When I am in a relationship I always experience this fear of being abandoned by the person I am with. I have no signs that things are bad or not going well but I keep having these thoughts and anxious feelings that he may leave me. I have this especially when something happens that I am not quite OK with but I don’t speak my mind or talk about how I feel in fear that he may not stay with me. This is actually becoming a burden as we have fights because I just hold on to issues for so long and talk them up in my mind to massive mountains and then when the bubble bursts everything all at once comes out and obviously that is not a good thing.
I have a loving partner, he’s been very supportive but since the last fight I feel that things have started to change and now obviously my fear of being left behind by him is growing.
Honestly I have no idea where this feeling comes from. My parents never divorced, I never experienced any traumas where I was left behind and I only experience this when I am in a relationship. I did grow up having major self-esteem problems due to being a very fat kid growing up. I was bullied a lot and during high school I did lose a lot of weight and finally ended up having my first kiss at 18. Before that I felt like no boy would ever want me because I was worthless and ugly. Over the years I have struggled with my weight however the last couple of years I have that under control. I have lost all of that weight and I am an attractive woman even if I say so myself ;). My partner is crazy about me and tells me I’m beautiful inside and out.
I’d just like to get some help to get rid of that abandonment fear. I don’t want to lose another partner over this stupid feeling I get when there’s no ground for it.
If something is not clear, please ask me for more details. If someone has experienced this and knows how to get rid of it I’d love to hear it.
Thank you!