- This topic has 14 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 4 days, 21 hours ago by
anita.
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June 29, 2026 at 3:27 pm #458993
StephanieParticipantHello, thank you for being here, this is my favorite website to take a break with at work.
I am a mental health crisis responder/supervisor for 5 1/2 years. The agency hired a new director 2 years ago, and she seemed friendly, helpful, wise, relatable. Six months ago, things changed overnight, she became a different person, suddenly questioning everyone’s roles and duties and abilities. Me included, I was in the middle of the busiest part of the year with crises, and director decides she needs to change the way the crisis program is being run, and making subtle statements that I am not doing my job, and can’t be trusted. I have many years of work behind me, a strong value in good work ethics, always doing the very best that I can and more, have never been questioned about my work or person. These statements continued, and changes continued without my input as the supervisor of my program. We have a crisis team and we are a great team, we communicate, we laugh, we help each other, we are always available, we know our jobs.
I have fibromyalgia and my brain fog sometimes causes a lag in memory, and I was given a written warning about an administrative task. I know those tasks are important, however my crisis work takes priority, patients take priority. This director has yet to understand crisis work and all that is involved.
I have followed transpersonal psychology for many years, many beautiful spiritual beings who give their enlightened messages to others for growth and journeys. I do also have trauma from a marriage, and am feeling as though this director may have been love bombing us and then became her true self. I am recognizing my triggers and reacting emotionally has brought on what has felt like being gas lit.
My first reaction to her demands turned into tears for me for that is how I often express frustration, and she apologized for “hurting me.” I had also been given another warning about a client that I did not, in her opinion, “do enough work” for, and the warning was written in very false statements which I did discuss with her.
I have since decided to take a different strategy, taking on a more stoic, non reactionary response to anything that she presents to me.
Recently, a very long time coworker was put on disciplinary leave for very small issues that did not warrant what she is being put through. I am very worried that I also have this target on my back as the director continues to point out that I am not to be trusted.
Before this director, no one had any issues with trusting me about anything.
Anyway, I am probably venting more that I am asking questions but I would be very grateful for input. I absolutely love my job, I love knowing the people in crisis are given help, and a second chance at a more positive life and well being. I love being a part of something so meaningful for others. Thank you.June 29, 2026 at 7:44 pm #459004
anitaParticipantHello Stephanie:
For a year and a half she was friendly, helpful, etc., and then 6 months ago, she changed overnight, becoming critical and threatening (warnings, a disciplinary leave).
Maybe, in her personal life, she lost control or safety 6 months ago, felt powerless and angry and projected all of that into the work place, seeking to have power-over and punish.
It’s no wonder you needed to vent about it. I would be quite distressed if I was in your situation.
5.5 years of doing your very best, being wholeheartedly edicated to helping people in crises, loving your work and then.. this. It’s unfair and uncalled for. I am sorry 😔
Is there anyone to talk to, someone in the agency that hired her?
🌿 Anita
June 29, 2026 at 9:42 pm #459005
Thomas168ParticipantIt is a horrible situation when a person who you thought was good to you becomes a self-righteous A-hole. Yeah, that person may have gone thru something but it is still not an excuse for what that person is doing to the others at work. The toughest part is knowing you are doing what you can and still being berated. The stress you must be feeling is incredible. I have no advice. The only thing aI can think of is to somehow talk with this person to get to the real story. Maybe somehow understand?
June 30, 2026 at 4:13 am #459017
AlessaParticipantHi Stephanie
I’m sorry to hear that the new director is behaving like this. It really does make a difference when you have a good boss above you. 🩵
It sounds like this whole situation is bringing up trauma from your marriage. Do you want to talk about it? 🩵
I used to work in a counselling centre. My boss was also tough. You’re a good one for prioritising your patients. Are you on top of your audit targets for paperwork and such? I’m only asking because you mentioned the issue with paperwork. I know that these services have some pretty intense auditing of paperwork, so they tend to be very aggressive with audit targets. If certain targets weren’t met there were risks of hefty fines. At least in my place. All you can really do is try your best to protect yourself. 🩵
Maybe look for a job elsewhere? I don’t really know how to handle office politics sadly. It’s really not worth working in a stressful environment. Especially when you have a condition like fibromyalgia which worsens with stress. I also have fibromyalgia. It sounds like you’re doing your very best! Some people like to lead with fear to keep people in line and it’s really not fair for the employees under them. Keep up the good fight Stephanie. You’re an angel for caring so much about helping people. 🩵
July 5, 2026 at 2:22 pm #459180
ScottyDyeParticipantYeah, when people like this come into a powerful position everything else falls apart. Sounds like it would be extremely frustrating if I were in your shoes. Sounds like she’s not even interested in the people who are underneath her. I’ve dealt with workplace stuff before that was just pitiful. I hope you can find your peace, whatever that means for you.
Just a dude living life.
July 6, 2026 at 2:22 am #459205
RobertaParticipantDear Stephanie
I am sorry that your workplace is not how it was or should be.
Years ago we had a manager that became a nightmare, later we found out that she was undergoing IVF & her hormones were all over the place. My mothers traits got magnified when she went thru the menopause & she refused to get help to manage the symptoms.
Does your manager have a board who maybe pushing her to implement changes, she could be worried about her own position & capabilities?I work in the care sector & although my workplace states “person centred care” that does not always appear to be the driving force on the ground & that can be both disheartening & a worry for those who use the service & or work there. If your work place has a mission statement you could use this to uphold your actions in prioritizing the way you put your clients wellbeing first. A good mission statement can be used as both a shield & a tool.
July 6, 2026 at 11:47 am #459220StephanieParticipantHello Roberta and thank you for your thoughts,
It is most frustrating when person centered care is not being what it needs to be, as I believe wholeheartedly that person centered care applies to the whole team of care/counselors/providers, in an ideal world, we want to be a true community.
Unfortunately, the people above my manager/director are only a couple of very elderly county commissioners who do not believe in mental health. I truly feel my director is driven by her own agendas which in my opinion are highly skewed and often demeaning. I am hopeful to be a part of a human resources interview to be conducted on behalf of our agency that will happen in relation to my coworker who was put on disciplinary leave.July 6, 2026 at 11:51 am #459221StephanieParticipantHello Anita, and thank you for your insight. As a mental health counselor, yes that was my first thought, is she experiencing something that is bleeding into her work, and her projection to others? I know she has a few health issues but that is all I know. So it’s always a possibility.
Thank you for your understanding. It is stressful, I just went through a huge health work up because I thought somehow my body was failing, it turns out it is chronic stress. I’m hoping to get myself on a much better self care regimen.
Also hoping to be a part of a human resources interview to be conducted about this director.July 6, 2026 at 12:15 pm #459222StephanieParticipantHello Alessa, I appreciate your care. Yes, I admit my triggers are being awakened. I really do need to see a counselor about it all. You think you have healed from things until someone with similar characteristics arrives. Being told I am not doing my job and am not trusted equates to being called stupid in that other life.
Yes, I am very much on top of my administrative duties, and our audit comes around in August and thankfully I have handled it well every year. I was handling everything just fine, and recently two of my duties got taken away from me, as though I am not handling them. I tried to fight for them back, as they are a definitive part of the program I run. It did not matter.
Thank youJuly 6, 2026 at 1:17 pm #459228StephanieParticipantScottydye, I appreciate your hope! I am normally just a dudette living life, haha, life/universe is always going to have experiences for us to grow with, it’s that how to manage the growth thing that can be so challenging. I do know my experiences thus far keep having individuals such as this show up, I’m exhausted.
July 6, 2026 at 1:28 pm #459230StephanieParticipantHi Thomas, and thank you for your care. I have thought of having that conversation, and have tried a small one twice, I found the last one to be not useful and afterwards realizing I had been gas lit. This person has that clever, subtle art of putting a person “in their place” with innuendos and other remarks. You know how some people just have that talent for being that A-hole in a “I really am helpful for you” way. I now choose to stand back and see if their subtle art of a-holeness will be their demise.
July 6, 2026 at 1:34 pm #459231AlessaParticipantHi Stephanie
That’s great to hear that everything is okay regarding the audit. 😊 It really sounds like nit picking on her part then. You’ve been here longer than the director has! The problem isn’t you, it’s her. Maybe she just feels a bit threatened by you doing a good job and feels a need to take you down a peg or two to gain some “authority” as a newcomer?
Good luck with the HR investigation! Hopefully they rein her in a bit. Sounds like she’s making a name for herself already. 😂
For sure, memory is a pain in the ass sometimes and can affect us in strange ways. I’m so sorry that you were made to feel stupid by someone you trusted and cared about. I think when it’s someone like that it really cuts deep. Definitely, not true though. I don’t understand why some people are so cruel. Bad coping mechanisms I guess, but still not fair to the people around them! 🩵
I’m sorry to hear your health has been really rough recently. It is crazy how much chronic stress can do. I hope you get some rest and tlc. You deserve it. 🩵
July 6, 2026 at 9:29 pm #459241anitaParticipantDear Just a Dudette Living life 🙂
As I was reading your individual replies to each one of the people who responded to you, I was, well, still am impressed by how relational and attuned you are, how you pay attention to what people say and connect with each person, and all that while you suffer from chronic stress.
That tells me how very good you must be at your job!
Also, I enjoyed your humor: “I now choose to stand back and see if their subtle art of a- holeness will be their demise”- 😁 👍 👏
Seems like the new director doesn’t care about mental health any more than the two county commissioners above her.
About the “human resources interview to be conducted about this director” that you’re hoping to be a part of: what are you hoping could be accomplished there?
🤔 Anita
July 13, 2026 at 11:34 am #459417StephanieParticipantHello again Anita, my response is delayed!
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts!
A few of us have encouraged each other to keep track of the incidents, no matter how small, document everything, so as to be able to give the most authentic version of what is happening.
Since my first letter here, one person has been put on disciplinary leave and another has had her position eliminated, very suddenly without leadership being brought in to discuss, due to budgeting, even though everyone in this building knows the agency has an abundance of funding thankfully.
I was told in a director’s email that I do not hold accountability, even though each time I make an error, as she sees errors, I apologize, I correct, and then I tell her how I will correct in a self strategy so as not to error again. Isn’t that accountability? This has happened multiple times.
Things such as this, as well as being told I am not trustworthy and need to be told to do my job, I will bring forth.
In the meantime, my team and others in my same place of feeling unsafe, we use dark humor to get us through haha.
Thank you for being there and being a presence of understanding.July 13, 2026 at 1:33 pm #459418anitaParticipantHello again, Stephanie 🙂
You are very welcome and thank you for the update. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with so much instability around you. Sudden staffing changes, unclear decisions, and messages from leadership that don’t match your actual behavior would make anyone feel unsafe.
From what you describe, you are taking accountability: you acknowledge mistakes, correct them, and outline how you’ll prevent them going forward. It makes sense that being told you’re “not trustworthy” or “need to be told to do your job” would feel confusing and unfair when your actions show the opposite.
I’m glad you have coworkers who understand what’s happening and can share some humor to get through the days. I’m here, and I’m glad you reached out.
🌿✨️🌿 Anita
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